Sunday 6 August 2006

Revelations.

I recieved an address book as part of my parents birthday present this year.

I adore stationary, I do.

Especially stationary with cute Forever Friends bears on it.

This address book is gorgeous. And in all honesty, I haven't had a proper address book since I was younger - you know, those sets you get as presents that you get and then promptly forget about.

So I was excited to get this one. I also love christening new stationary, by writing in them and making them 'used'.

The excitement sort of died, after I realised that I can fill a whopping five address squares in the entire book.

Jason.
Jen.
Elissa. (Uni friend)
Nan.
My cousins, Cathy & Paul.

That's it.

I know so few people that I can't even fill in my address book. That makes me feel a bit sad. Why is it that I know so few people? Am I such a social failure (!) that I simply don't know that many people?

I've never really been into having large groups of friends. Actually as far as I can remember, I've always only had "one" close friend and the rest acquaintances. That hasn't bothered me before, I prefer it that way. Though there are some days that I wish for a group; a group that would go out together for a night on the town and be content with just being together. Maybe that time will come, one day.

I know it's my own fault. I prefer not to go out, I actually prefer to stay in. What 22 year old prefers staying in with a book, than going out to a party? I sort of meant it when I said that I sometimes felt 22 going on 40. Not implying that 40 year olds don't get out their and party (heck, my mother has more of a life than I do!) but, I just feel like an old soul sometimes.

I wonder if the days ahead will be content ones. I wonder if after all this, I'll end up alone one day. I wonder if I'll ever be able to fill up that address book and not just with names. With friends. Friends that mean the world to me, not just page fillers.

Now to get away from the bland self-pitying talk, take a look at the darned cute bear that is on my address book. Enjoy.

Forever_friends_5

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