A Letter for my Baby Brother.

To dear Ajay,

I'm writing this letter to you on your birthday, April 23rd 2007. Today, my ickle baby brother, you are twenty years old. Seeing as I'm presently two years your senior, I'm feeling rather old myself. I can't even imagine what our mother is thinking.. wait! Actually, I can. I'll bet she's thinking something along the lines of.. "My baby! He's all grown up! Where have the years gone? Where is my sweet red-headed little baby?" These nostalgic thoughts are most likely being followed by.. "I wonder when he'll be moving out, I'd like to extend my scrapbooking room." Don't worry, I'm sure she's just kidding when she says that. (Sort of. Maybe. I hope.)

We've had a fairly tumultuous relationship, you and I. Not always in a positive light, either. You may or may not know that I've been jealous of you since the moment you were born. You recall our baby pictures, which have sat side by side on the cupboard downstairs for years? I've always envied yours. You posed all snuggled up in your baby blue blanket, eyes closed, sleeping peacefully and looking very angelic. I, on the other hand, glared out from my pink blanket with a red face and a death stare. Perhaps it was the sign of things to come?

I wish I remember more about us when we were kidlets. When I look through mums scrapbooking albums, I mainly get distracted by the fact that we were both so darned cute back then! My favourite photos are the ones of you as a wee baby, where I'm either standing next to you staring wide-eyed, or generally just being nosey and checking you out. Did mum ever tell you that she declared you an ugly baby? It's true! (Don't believe what she tells you now, it's just because you're bigger than her.) I never thought that though, and I still claim that you were a much cuter baby than I was.

You were the typical annoying little brother through school. You drove me absolutely batty at the best of times, always doing typical Ajay things that I would hate and that our parents would find endlessly amusing. How many times did you get me into trouble, pleading innocence the whole time? How many times did I end up grounded while you walked around giggling. (Brat!) I would get so frustrated by you and I'll admit it, sometimes I still do. Your ability to make me snap is award winning and rarely fails. I should know better.

When you were in high school I worried about you alot. I didn't like your friends, and I didn't like any of your girlfriends either. What can I say now, other than a) I was right about them and b) I'm your big sister, I'm allowed to hate them. When you left school before finishing, I wondered what the future would bring you. You looked after yourself though and the day you announced you were going back to school to finish your HSC I was so, so proud of you. You have no idea. I don't know that I would have been strong enough to go back, but you did. I'm also impressed that you found yourself a girlfriend that I actually like, so treat her well and be smart, alright?

In the last year, you have grown up a lot. You're funny, you're smart, and you've mellowed out, for lack of a better expression. Jase and I have talked about how different you are for the majority of the time, how you're turning into the only slightly annoying kind of brother that I have hoped for for a long time now. Someone who I can spend time with growing up when we each start our new lives, someone who I can ask for advice. As irritating as we are towards one another, I really hope you feel the same about me one day. It's sappy, but true.

So it's your birthday, and you're not the little boy I keep talking about anymore. Not that you aren't still annoying though, you know how to push my buttons better than anyone else I can think of. We've screamed at each other, we've had our shoving matches, we've become good at ignoring one another for days on end. (Bloody hell, as I type this, you just came into my room and stirred shit again, nothing changes eh?) I think we've shared more with each other lately; but don't think I'll forget about all those times I made you promise to keep your mouth shut, and you later blabbed! Slacker!

In conclusion? Although I like you much better as a brunette than as a blonde, I wish you'd let your beautiful ginger hair grow back. Oh, and one more thing? Quit shaving your arms, the sooner the better. One day you'll look back and wonder why you started in the first place. Trust me. I'm your sister. I know these things.

And Ajay? When I move to England, I'm really going to miss you.

Happy birthday, baby brother. I love you lots! [squishes cheeks]