Feeling Self Conscious

Yesterday, I had my hair & make-up done.

I must say, being made up is one of the most exciting aspects of wedding planning so far. I found our stylist, Jenny of Le Fabulous, a few months back & had a trial do then, but since we were having engagement pictures taken by Andrew of Follan Photography fame, I decided to splurge and have it done again.

The first time around, we went for natural and glowing coverage as well as a loose up-do. This time around? I wanted something different. Jenny gave me awesome curls & gorgeous smoky eyes - it was super dramatic. I went to pick Jase up from the station all dolled up, and he got into the car looking impressed with it, so that was a good sign!

The pre-wedding photo-shoot went well. We drove out to Galston and took pictures in this beautiful park, with a few different backdrops - and despite feeling incredibly awkward at the start, we started feeling more comfortable as time went on. The hair and make-up meant I felt okay from the shoulders up, but I'm still feeling super self conscious about my body and my weight. You see, the weight I had lost last year? Well, that is still fantastic - but I've been stuck at a huge plateau for the last few months and it hasn't budged since.

So, beautiful hair, make-up and talented photographer withstanding, I'm still terrified. I'm terrified of seeing the images and not liking what I see. I'm terrified that Jase won't like the pictures, that I won't look the way that I want to look, and worse: that I'll be too fixated on what size I look in the images to appreciate what the session was really for - time to spend with my love, enjoying each other's company in the lead-up to our wedding day. I really hope these nerves go away soon, especially before the wedding.

I'll be waiting nervously for the engagement pictures for the next few weeks, but in the meantime, here's a blurry, badly lit camera phone picture of us after the shoot. I love my little family.