Two Months

Somehow one month turned into two months and my little lady is 8 weeks old already. How is this happening?

It's been a sad month, but we've kept busy and tried to take lots of trips in the car & pram while the weather is nice.
This month Georgia has:
  • Said goodbye to her great-grandmother, and cheered up the hearts of many sad family members. I'll never forget the joy she brought to my nanna, making her smile the day before she passed away.
  • Been sleeping for longer stints at night - usually between 11-4am. Well done, baby girl!
  • Had her first park play-date/picnic lunch with her little friend, R. 
  • Started using her dummy more regularly, mostly to help her nod off to sleep.
  • Broken out in her first batch of milk spots/hormonal baby rash. It popped up on her neck, back & face!
  • Started to smile and laugh, though not regularly - I can't wait to see her happy face all the time.

  • Managed to get through her first batch of shots - the 6-week vaccinations. She was a trouper: screamed in the first one, sobbed through the second one, but felt better after mummy cuddles.
  • Discovered the witching hour(s) - she is an absolute terror in the late afternoons/evenings. Inconsolable crying, feeding all the time, struggling to sleep. It's been exhausting for all of us. :(
  • Continued to solely breastfeed, and is doing a really good job of it!
  • Gained more weight, and is up around 4.6kg. She's a petite little thing; though you wouldn't think so by looking at her chubby cheeks and edible arm and thigh folds. :)
  • Almost outgrown her 0000 clothing, but is still too small for most 000. Her arms/legs are too short for them, but we're putting her in them so that she's got room to move. (Singlets underneath help bulk her up too.)
  • Mastered rolling over. We can't really spend much tummy-time on the floor any more, because she uses her feet to flip herself onto her back. Clever girl!

Red Bums & Baby Blues

Poor Georgia - she's had it tough these last few weeks! What started out as a nappy rash turned into a BAD nappy rash, turned into a bacterial infection, turned into a contact reaction.

What does that mean? Lots of doctor visits, a bright red baby tush, some tears & a very stressed out and tired mama.

What are YOU stressed out for? I'm the one with the sore butt!
When it first came up, we treated it accordingly - barrier creams, fresh air and nappy free time. When it got worse, I visited the GP the first time. The rash had turned into dark red sores and small red spots along her bum - the first diagnosis was thrush or a fungal infection. That cream didn't solve anything, and things got more and more tender - let's just say things were bleeding. It was awful, and nappy changes were horrific. The next step was a bacterial cream in case it was an infection - and it looks like that was the problem.

We'd been using the cream for a week, and things were starting to heal over. Seeing her little butt looking more normal was refreshing.. until I opened a nappy the day before yesterday to find a new round of bright red patches greeting me. They were in different spots to the original rash, and they were awful! The doctor thinks that some of the strong, prescription anti-bacterial cream might have gotten on the nappy and smeared onto her sensitive lady-bits when it was closed and fastened, and she had a reaction to it.

I'm happy to say that after a few hours of nappy-free time each day, a change to organic disposable nappies and wipes, and a good slathering of barrier cream, things are starting to heal. We are back at the doctor next week, and she is confident that it'll be looking good by then. Poor baby and her poor butt.

Otherwise, Georgia is being her usual beautiful self - aside from the few hours of complete and utter crankiness each evening. Some say it's the witching hour; I'm changing that to the witching HOURS, plural. She is hard work! Refuses sleep, comfort feeds constantly, and will cry and cry with seemingly no cause. We do a lot of snuggling, rocking, bouncing, and nursing each evening, leaving all of us {hubby included} more than a little frazzled. A friend hooked me up to the PURPLE crying website, and it sums us up to a tee.

All in all though? She's a beautiful baby. I still can't believe she's mine! When she looks up at me with those huge blue eyes, it doesn't matter how many hours I've slept, how many hours it's been since I showered, how many jobs I haven't got around to, or how many times I've left the house in the past week - she's mine. :)

Sleep? Nah... how's about some more food?

Week by Week

I had Georgia weighed at the chemist today, and she's growing!

At last Monday's doctor appointment, she weighed 4.3kg. Today, one week later, she weighed 4.6kg. It's a relief to know that all the feeding we've been doing is finally starting to take off. :)

We have been solely breastfeeding for the past few weeks, with the occasional expressed breast-milk feed if we're out and about & feeding is an issue. Georgia has been getting super fussy and I feel like I whack her on the boob quite a bit - but she is definitely wanting it. So far my milk supply is adequate; I just hope it keeps up.
I've been taking dozens of photographs of this gorgeous little girl each day, and she is changing in front of my eyes.

This week in review

This has been one heck of a week.

We said goodbye to my Nanna at a beautiful funeral service, where we celebrated her happy, smiling face & released doves into a picture perfect blue sky. It was so very hard, but I know she would have been happy.

Our life this week: remembering Nanna & lots of nekkid bebe snuggles.
Poor Georgia girl has had a tough run though - she had her six week immunisations {big fat tears from mummy AND baby} and lots of doctor visits, as she has developed a shocking nappy rash. It's lasted a week now, and we've tried all sorts of things, natural and medical, to help clear it up. We swapped from disposables to cloth, lots of nappy free, bum-in-air time, and a very mild cortisone/thrush cream - here we are at the end of the week and it's still sore. 
After yet another doctor visit today, we're on a bacterial cream twice a day. We go back in a week, and if it's not cleared up by then, I'll cry. Poor bugger. I can't think of anything worse than a sore, inflamed bum.
We're also in the middle of a growth spurt - Georgia now weighs 4.3kg {or 9lb4oz} and is 52.5cm long. She's still little, but she's growing! :) She has been very fussy the past few days, not wanting to lie down and sleep during the day, and grumbling for food all the time. Thankfully my supply is still keeping up with her; I'm down to pumping twice a day too, to just keep things moving. I spoke to a midwife today, who said I was doing the right thing: which is 'If in doubt, whack her on the boob'. Done and dusted. 
It's so hard to believe she'll be 7 weeks old tomorrow. Time really does fly - it's terrifying how fast it's going by.
Bubble-baby-butt photos make me smile. :)

Our First Mother's Day

This time last year, my period arrived. That usually wouldn't be a momentous or blogworthy event, but it signalled the failure of our first IVF cycle - and brought about a whole stack of emotions. There's no great time for a BFN {big fat negative} but on Mother's Day? It was pretty darned painful.

If you'd told me then that in twelve months, I'd be somebody's mother, I wouldn't have believed you. It was too raw, too unthinkable. What a difference this past twelve months has made to our lives. It's amazing how quickly my heart just exploded with love - it grew from the positive pregnancy test, to the scans, to the heartbeat, and when she made her early arrival into the world. I'm learning new things about her, and about myself, every day.

Today was bittersweet. My first as a mother; my mother's first as a grandmother; and our first without our Nanna. I know she'd be happy that Georgia is here with us today; helping us to grieve & to keep on living. It was a tough day.

And yes, I'm crazy - attempting artwork with a 6-week old was possibly not the smartest idea.. but what can I say? We wanted a sweet gift for the grandma's, and I'm not afraid of a little art and craft - it's the teacher in me! {This was an epic Pinterest fail; Georgia threw an epic tantrum after the first few handprints, so we had to improvise!}

Big love and hugs to all of my mama & soon-to-be-mama friends, but also to those still on their journeys to motherhood. I know first hand just how hard this day can be, and I'm thinking of you and sending hope your way.

Thank you for making me a mother, Georgia. I promise I'll do my best to bring you up right. xx

Nanna

Yesterday, the world lost one of the good ones.

My beautiful nanna, who has been battling breast cancer for the last few years, left us peacefully.

I'm sad for us. I'm sad for my Mum - I can't even imagine how hard this must be for her. I'm sad for Georgia, who won't get the honour of growing up with her great-nanna. I'm sad for me, because she's gone.

But mostly, I'm happy. I'm happy that she can rest and relax. I'm happy that she got to see her grand-kids grow up and be happily married. I'm happy she held on to meet Georgia, who she was so thrilled and excited to see. I'm happy that in her final days, she was able hold Georgia's hands, kiss Georgia's forehead, and smile. This makes me happier than I can explain - and the picture below is one I'll show my daughter when she's older: I truly believe that she was early for a reason, and that reason was for her. I'll have special memories of the two of them together.

I know she's happier where she is right now, and I know she'll be smiling. We love you, Nanna. So, so very much.

Nanna Mary & Georgia ~ May 2013

Picture Overload!

We had Georgia's newborn shoot done the day after we got out of hospital and returned home - she was 10 days old at the time. I was always unsure if I wanted to get maternity photos done {and good thing I didn't book anything, since she made her early appearance!} but I was positive I wanted newborn photos. She is such a long awaited little miracle and may just be our only wee one, so of course I wanted to capture those chubby cheeks and tiny features - how could I not? If I'd had it my way, I would have had them taken even earlier, but we worked with what we had.

Our photographer was someone new to us; a cousin of a girl I went to high school with. I'd seen her pictures popping up on my facebook newsfeed, as she did the rounds of other friends of friends, and her pictures looked gorgeous! On the day, Georgia was a bit fussy. Okay, let's be real here. She was a LOT fussy. My calm, quiet newborn was replaced with a little monster - a cute one, but a monster all the same. She stayed wide awake, she grizzled, and she had a tummy ache. In the space of a few hours, we were all pooped and peed on, and she had one heck of a nappy rash from the constant wipe-downs. Poor love!
In the end, she fell asleep out of pure exhaustion, and Ash worked her magic to get us some absolutely beautiful shots of our little girl. I know, we're biased, but seriously - she is just so cute. The scary part is how much she's changed, even just a few short weeks later. So glad we got these early moments on film. Enjoy!
All photographs taken by Ashleigh Hughes Photography {Georgia's photos also feature on her blog!}

One Month

Georgia is one month old. One month! I can't believe that only 28 days ago, I gave birth to this tiny, squirming little person - it feels like it happened just yesterday and a million years ago, all at the same time.

Since she was technically premature, we're always going to be in limbo with her birth age vs her adjusted age. She's one month old in terms of her birth, but her adjusted age is actually only 5 days - so while this doesn't show up as anything drastic now, it just means that as she grows, she may hit her 'milestones' at a slightly different pace to other children at her birth age. But really, she was right on the borderline of that magical 37 week age, so I'm not too concerned yet. We'll deal with those things as we come to them.
This month Georgia has:
  • Spent a week in the Special Care Nursery before coming home, for good.
  • Met her grandparents {on both sides}, her great-grandparents & her very special great-grandmother. She's also met her Uncle and Aunty, and had lots of lovely visitors here at home. She's a loved little lady.
  • Had licks from her two kitties & supervised visits with Spencer through the back door.
  • Went for her first walk in the pram. :)
  • Officially discovered her lungs. Our sweet and quiet newborn is being replaced by a rather feisty wee thing.
  • Suffered through her first cold & GP visit - she's still snuffly and congested now, which is hard to listen to.
  • Figured out how to breastfeed {with a shield} and is doing well on an all breast milk diet.
  • Bypassed her birth weight, and is hopefully continuing to pile on the pounds.
  • Continued wearing 0000/newborn clothing - so tiny.
  • Been working on her tummy time and is working on her fitness - she has crazy strong neck muscles!
We are so very much in love with her & are learning new things about her every day. She is just the cutest thing.

It Ain't Easy

Breastfeeding. Yep, this is an epic post that is all about boobs. You've been warned, folks.

Much like my birth plan {which, if you'll remember, was 'not to have a plan'} - I didn't really have a plan when it came to feeding my baby. I had high hopes that we'd be able to breastfeed, but I've also heard so many guilt-ridden stories about things not going right, that I was determined not to get too focussed on it as the be all and end all. If it worked, it worked. If it didn't, it didn't. Either way, I'd have my child at the end of it all.
When Georgia was born, she had some respiratory distress and required oxygen for several hours after birth. While these problems cleared up really quickly and she was off all monitors and support by the following day, it affected her feeding. We were never able to have our first attempt breastfeeding skin-to-skin after birth, and because she was in the Special Care Nursery, they made the decisions on her feeding without consulting me. 
Georgia was not able to take formula from a bottle, so she was given formula via a feeding tube down her nose. Walking in and visiting her in the wee hours after the birth, and seeing her with a tube stuck to her face, well, that just broke my heart. This was not what I'd hoped for my daughter's first hours of life.
Less than twelve hours old in the Special Care Nursery. Broke my little post-partum heart.
I expressed colostrum manually for the first 24 hours, which was inserted directly into her belly via the tube. After 24 hours, they introduced me to the hospital breast pump & had me expressing {or attempting to express} every 3 hours. I didn't get a chance to breastfeed Georgia until day 2/3, and only for very short attempts. She had no real idea what to do on the breast; wasn't able to latch and hadn't mastered the sucking reflex. The same went for bottles; she couldn't figure out how to do it. It was heartbreaking for me, and frustrating for her. She would sit on my lap and cry, or simply fall asleep, because it was just too hard for her. And so, the tube feeding continued, and I kept on pumping, desperate to give her something other than formula.
Here's where things went a little pear shaped.
Firstly: the hospital pump. Other than showing me how it worked, and how to sterilise the parts and store the expressed colostrum, I was pretty much left to my own devices with it. I was pumping every 3 hours as instructed, but getting pretty much nothing from it. I got frustrated, I got emotional, and I got stressed. Second, it didn't help that another woman in the nursery, who had given birth the same night as me, was also pumping on the 3-hourly intervals, and she was getting breast milk - bottles of breast milk, while I was managing to express 2ml of colostrum, if I was lucky. Comparing my efforts expressing to hers... it sucked.
By day 4, my milk still hadn't come in. Georgia was on tube feeds regularly, and I fought to try and get her trying the bottles a little more - anything to help her practice her sucking. They let her attempt breastfeeding/bottle feeding on every third feed rotation: the idea was that she would rest and get her strength up through tube feeds for two rotations, before attempting the suck feed. All I wanted was to have my baby on my breast. In my heart, I knew tube feeding was helping her build her strength, but it didn't make it any easier. When things hadn't happened by the afternoon, the midwives called in a lactation consultant to meet with me. She explained that while most women had their supply in by day 4, it varied from person to person. She also suggested that there may be a link between milk supply & PCOS - and suggested oatmeal & fenugreek, which I was already taking daily. We agreed that if I hadn't had any milk come in by day 6, we could look at prescribed drugs to boost milk production.
Thankfully, milk arrived on day 6 - after an agonising day of engorgement and nipple blisters {oh lordy, the nipple blisters} that appeared on day 5. I've never been happier to have Dolly Parton boobs, but they do NOT prepare you for the pain of your milk coming in. That was almost as agonising as post-childbirth, for me anyway. That being said, I was so excited to see if Georgia would take to breastfeeding a little better, now that there was something worth waking up for! And if she still wasn't able to feed from me directly, I'd at least have expressed breast milk to feed her via the tube.
My milk increased gradually, which made me stress less. While I still wasn't producing enough to feed her for every 3-hourly rotation, more and more of her feeds became breast milk over formula. My goal was to completely wean out the formula altogether, and I managed this eventually. Since my boobs were playing ball, the paediatrician finally decided to try out alternate feeds for Georgia - one tube feed to one suck feed. Her latching troubles continued, even with midwife help, so I trialled a shield, and BOOM. It suddenly clicked. We had our first real feed on day 6 - it was short and sweet, but it was glorious. I cried; this was breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding in the Special Care Nursery - Georgia still with her feeding tube in.
Once she figured out what she had to do on the breast, we were thrilled. She was making progress! We had a few more hurdles to get through; predominantly exhaustion. Sure, Georgia was a good size at birth - but she was still premature and tired very easily. With the shield {I used the Medela ones} she was able to last a good few minutes before falling asleep; then we'd have to employ every technique in the book to wake her up - stripping off, tickles, head stroking, squeezing hands, nappy changes, baths, cold face washers. When she was asleep, she was really asleep. I was assured that she would outgrow this stage at her own pace. 
We were due to be continuing alternate feeds, but one morning, Georgia yanked out her feeding tube {again} when she was due for a tube feed. The midwife on duty laughed, and suggested we try another suck feed instead.. worst case scenario, if she couldn't finish her boob/bottle combination, we could put another tube in. Georgia showed her - we had a great feed AND she got through her bottle. Champion! And so began our next challenge: getting through on all suck feeds. Thankfully, she did well, and we were eventually discharged from Special Care & put into the regular ward instead. We went home as a family the following day.
Our routine at home goes something like this: a breastfeed focussing on one side at a time, offer other breast & top-up with expressed milk. This is up to our discretion now: if she's had a long feed and puts herself to sleep, we don't top-up - if she's had a lazy feed or continues fussing after a short period of time, we top-up. The amounts are fairly small, usually around 25-30mls of expressed milk. Then we rinse and repeat every 3-4 hours. Georgia is finally able to wake herself up and fuss when she's hungry: this is huge progress, as prior to this, I'd need to set my alarm and wake her up for her 3-4 hourly feeds. If she sleeps a little longer at nights, I let her go - happy baby AND happy mama! ;)
I'm still pumping, though not after every feed like I was in the hospital. We invested in a Medela Swing Maxi, a double electric pump - saves time and is way more comfortable than the hospital pump. I express after our first feed of a morning {usually when I get the 'most' milk - though it's still not a lot}, once after an afternoon feed, and once after our last feed before bedtime, mainly for comfort overnight. Three times a day seems to be working for me at the moment. I don't have a huge supply, but I seem to have enough to cope with her needs for now. I'm starting to develop a little freezer stash too, so that gives me some relief on the off days where I don't express very much milk. I've continued with the fenugreek and oatmeal, but my supply is still fairly average.
Feeding my daughter has been my sole focus and biggest challenge since becoming a new mother. I don't know how long we'll last for, but I'd really like to hit the six-month mark, all going well. But, like I said way back at the beginning, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. If we swap to formula at some point, I'll be okay with that; I know I've done everything in my power to help give Georgia a good start in life.
Is it dinner time yet?

To My Baby On Her Due Date

Dear Georgia,

Today, you are 23 days old. TWENTY THREE DAYS OLD. Over three weeks! Almost a month. Lordy, time is flying.


Today, you weighed in with the community health nurse. You went from 3.45kg to 3.7kg in nine days - and you made me a very happy lady. Looks like our combination of breastfeeding & expressed top-ups is working. Huzzah! You also impressed our nurse, who couldn't get over how wide eyed and alert you were and how much strength you are already showing in your movements. So proud of you, our chunky little preemie bub. :)


Today, you went for your first walk in the pram, alongside Spencer - who was so very excited to have a new walking buddy. Going out for an afternoon lap around the block with you as part of our new little family was lovely.


Today, it's also your due date. We were pretty convinced that your date was as close to 'accurate' as it could be, thanks to the IVF procedure dates that helped us to conceive you. {I promise I won't talk about your conception too much in your lifetime - but just know that we are very, very grateful parents who are so lucky to have you.} In my mind, I didn't think you'd make us wait until April 22nd to meet you, but I also didn't expect you to come as early as you did. You obviously decided that the time was right, and we're so glad you're here.


We think you're pretty darned fabulous - and we will never take you for granted. Happy due date, baby girl.

Love,
Mama xx





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