The Numbers Game.

18 (days that I've walked on the treadmill, consecutively.)

5 (almost kilograms that I've lost in the last month.) ALSO (school days left until holidays.)

2000+ (hopeful cost of getting Laser Eye Corrrection, eek.)

333 (paranoid thoughts I've had about tonight, because I am apparently a nervous and insecure freak.)

3 (guesses it took Jason to find the sparkly ring that I would choose for myself while looking through a jewellery catelogue.)

50 (the probable age I'll be if I ever recieve the afore-mentioned sparkly ring.)

500,000 (average cost of decent houses in Sydney.)

2 (years until I will end up buying one of those decent houses.) ALSO (number of dogs I'll be getting in the future.)

Priceless (hearing about more future talk with Jase over breakfast.)

The one day of the week where it is good to live in a country with a speedy time zone.

I adore weekends.

I love the feeling that I get on Friday afternoon when I'm packing up my classroom for the weekend, and when I screech carefully pull out of the school parking lot and head for home.

I love that weekends are when I get to annoy see Jase.

I love that I refuse don't have to set the alarm.

I love having making spare time to relax and do nothing.

I love not having to look after anybody at all any kidlets.

Weekends are lovely.

But this weekend will hopefully be even lovelier than usual. I think I actually have plans this weekend. (!) Why am I sounding a wee bit excited? While I always love weekends, most of them are spent around the house, enjoying a bit of quiet time. I'm not a social butterfly, so it's a rarity when I'm actually busy. Not that I mind, but every once in a while it gets a wee bit lonely around here.

Tonight is my beautiful mum's birthday, so we're heading up to a club on the water where we will have some dinner, and watch her line dance. Should be good fun; I've been craving their grilled chicken dish since the last time I was there. (Not that I'm obsessing about food, or anything..)

Tomorrow night, I'm putting on a brave face and finally getting around to stalking meeting up with Lala and Mick too. Why brave? Because I'm terrified they're going to meet me in real life and think "What the hell were we thinking inviting her here? She's funny looking, and she smells" before pushing me down some stairs. Alright, maybe not, but you never know. Leave me alone, I'm a shy petal.

And on Sunday if all goes well, I'm hoping to catch up with Jess while she is in Sydney. Most of you won't know this, but Jess and I went to school together way back in 1996, and I lost touch with her after she switched schools. Being the super-stalker that I am, I'm hoping to grab a coffee with her and catch up. Fingers crossed! Oh, I also have to bake a cake or a slice or something on Sunday, since next week we're having a cake stall at school.

If all goes well, I'll have a gazillion things to blog about this weekend when I find the time. And if all doesn't go well? I'm sure I can dig out a couple of random things I've forgotten to blog about over the last few weeks. Or, make a picture blog of me cleaning out my sock drawer or something.

Happy Friday!


This time I'm jumping on the bandwagon with this meme, as I've seen it done done on blogs by Lara and Teacher Anonymous. Feel free to steal for yourself too.


1. What is missing from my life? "Be Like That": Three Doors Down.

I find this song really sad, about wanting
to be someone else, not who you are right now. Hmm. Wonder if that rings true?

?All she wants is just that someone to hold on to, that?s all she needs.?

2. Will I find love? "Walking Away?: Craig David.

Uh-oh. That can?t be good.

"Well I?m so
tired baby, the things you say, they?re driving me away."

3. Will I become rich?

"Hate This Place": Goo Goo Dolls.

Does that mean I hate my current place in
life and will go overseas, marry a wealthy Englishman and become rich?

"I think
I love ya, but I aint saying nothing you don?t know."

4. Does someone have a crush on me?

"Destiny":Zero 7

The fact that I have a crush is my destiny. How poetic!

"Even though we're miles apart, we are each other's destiny."

5. What should I do with my life? "City Hall": The Fray.

I was only joking about going into politics the other
day, alright?

"You can't watch me anymore, you can't make me like before."

6. Am I good looking? "Lose You": Pete Yorn.

Wah! I must be so plain that I can get lost in the

"I just have
to wander through this world, alone."

7. When am I most happy? "Fade Into You": Mazzy Star.

I have loved this song for years and years. And
I guess it?s true, also.

"I want to hold the hand inside you, I want to take a
breath that?s true."

8. What is my biggest regret? "Two Beds and a Coffee Machine": Savage Garden.

Such a sad song. I suppose
the years going on without changing your life could be a regret.

"Another ditch
in the road, you keep moving; Another stop sign, you keep moving on."

9. How does the world see me? ?Without Reason?: The Fray.

Hey! I happen to think I am very reasonable,

"I don?t want to live without reason."

10. What do my friends really think of me? ?Waiting For Tonight?: Jennifer Lopez.

Someone send help! I have J.Lo on my
playlist! Maybe my friends are just hanging out to see me, or that I make sad
times happy times. Aww.

"From all of the sadness, the tears that I?ve cried."

11. Will I have a happy life? ?Flawless?: George Michael.

Nice! That?s good to hear.

"And it?s no good
waiting, waiting."

12. How can I make myself happy?

?Downfall?: Matchbox 20.

That?s hardly happy? Maybe I balance out someone
else, somewhere out there.

"I?ve always been with you, here and now, give all
that?s within you; be my saviour."

13. How will I die? ?Black Balloon?: Goo Goo Dolls.

Eek, perhaps I?ll choke on one?

"You?re not
thinking about tomorrow, ?cos you are the same as me."

14. Do I act my age? ?Better Luck Next Time?: Lifehouse.

And again, I?m assuming that means NO.

"Tell me where you?re going, maybe the one you love isn?t there? You?re going
under, but you?re over it all."

15. What type of tattoo should I get?

?Too Bad?: Nickelback.

Am such a rebel, apparently.

"And all I hear about, is
how it?s so bad, it?s so bad."

16. What is my spirit animal?

?We?ll Never Know?: Lifehouse.

Fine, don?t answer the question then! Very

"Tell me all the dreams that you have let slip right through your
hands, do you feel lost inside of someone else?s life?"

17. Do I like pain?

?My prerogative?: Britney Spears.

My pain is listening to Britney songs. Hee.

"I don?t need permission, make my own decisions."

18. Is there anyone else like me out there? ?It?s My Life?: Bon Jovi.

MINE! No-one like me! It?s all about me! Because
Bon Jovi said so, dudes

"And I aint gonna be just a face in the crowd, they?re
gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud."

20. Where should I move to? ?Far Away?: Nickelback.

I guess that?s appropriate for my would-be move next

"Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?"

22. Will I ever be president? ?Filthy Gorgeous?: Scissor Sisters.

Why does that make me think of a corrupt
president? Hee. Or perhaps a president in drag?

?You?re disgusting, and you?re

23. What is fun for me? ?Butterfly?: Crazy Town.

Well, they are pretty. But fun? Meh. It is a fun song.

?Time is passing, I?m asking can this be real??

24. Will I ever learn to fly? ?It?s Time To Dance: Panic! At the Disco.?

No flying, but I?ll happily dance

?Come on, this is screaming photo op..?

25. What is my super power? ?Lovefool?: The Cardigans.

Do I get a superhero suit for
being a lovefool? With a big giant red love heart on it? In spandex? Sounds

"Love me, love me, say that you love me."

26. What is some good advice for me? "Desperately Wanting": Better than Ezra.

Sounds like I need to get on with doing the things I want, eh?

"I finally figured out
some things youll never know."

Survivor: Education!

I read the following article in our school's weekly newsletter and thought it was amusing, so had to share it here. Keep in mind that it is a bit "American", but it still fits in well with teachers everywhere. What are your thoughts on it?

Have you heard about the next planned Survivor show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped into a primary school classroom for six weeks. Each business person will be provided with a copy of the curriculum, and a class of 28 students.

Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be labelled with severe behaviour problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least three days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organise and create appropriate classroom resources.

They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents and arrange parent conferences.

They must also supervise recess and lunch and monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete drills for fires or other emergencies.

They must attend workshops, faculty meetings, union meetings, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times. The business people will only have access to the golf course on weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it anyway. There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 20 minutes.

On days when they do not have recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another teacher is supervising their class. They will be provided with two 60-minute planning periods per week while there students are learning elsewhere. If the photocopier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time.

The business people must continually advance their education on their own time, and pay for advanced training themselves. This can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money.

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.

The scary thing is that so many parts of this joke, are actually true. So many people think that teaching is an easy job; I would love to see what they thought of it if they actually stepped inside the room and did our job for a single day.

I would love to give them a handful of our syllabus documents and have them take a look at what we need to teach their children. I would love for them to see how often their darlings are distracted, are cheeky or are downright naughty. I would love to see how they keep their eye on a classroom full of children at once.

So this is a shoutout to all the teachers out there, infants or secondary - what you're doing isn't easy and you are so, so important. And hey, let's think about it - if this really was a Survivor game, we'd be easy contenders for that one million dollars!

The head! It aches!

You know those days when you can feel a headache coming from almost the second you get up out of bed? That was today.

It hasn't been completely horrible, or one that needed pain killers. More like something that is just twinging on uncomfortable, that you notice every so often. Probably doesn't help that today I was followed around all day long by one of my kidlets complaining of being sick.

[Off on a tangent:] Oh parents out there, if your kid is legitimately sick, PLEASE keep them at home. They don't learn, they make learning hard for everyone else, they give their germs to us all and (most importantly) they give their teachers headaches!

[Something else I remember now:] My student teacher seemed really nice, she's in with us again from next
Monday until Thursday, the end of Term 2. But the headache! Ack!

The ache got more annoying while I stayed back after school waiting to do parent/teacher interviews. While we're on the topic, I suppose I should give a resounding (and slightly sarcastic) thankyou to those two parents who didn't bother showing up today. I do love staying back after work for absolutely no reason. I came home, pottered around a little and did my daily walk; but it was bothering me so I ended up turning
off the lights and walking in the dark.

Now that I'm thinking about it, what actually causes a headache? Which part of your head is the part that is hurting? Today, it's been a dull thudding from the inside, all over. (It is quite possibly my brain ricocheting from one side of my head to the other; it's ready for holidays too.) Is it really my brain hurting, though?

I'd google it myself, if it weren't for the -- you know -- headache.

Tonight, it's an early dinner and then watching DVDs in bed. Don't you wish you had my life? Try and hold that jealousy in, alright?

A REAL Teacher!

Tomorrow, I'm getting my first prac student!

(But what is a prac student, I hear you asking.)

It's basically like university training; for most careers these days, you need some sort of professional learning placement. For teaching, I had to do several practical visits in schools where you observe and eventually teach your host class.

Now, I'm going to be the teacher and not the student, for once. I can't wait to meet this mysterious person. I'm hoping to be a good role model. My class is tough, but lovely. And to actually be a mentor to someone else, wow.

I am so excited! Someone hold me back, or I'll end up scaring the poor girl the minute I meet her.

Sunday Google-age Round 5.

Every time I post my Sunday Google-age, I realise another week has gone by; at this rate, the year will be over soon.

What is Google-age?
You're reading it, pal! Since my visitors usually end up here through Google, it's just a silly little wordplay. It rolls off the tongue well, what can I say?

1,2,3, Eyes to Me!

Yes, I am guilty of using this one in the classroom before. Cue the lame groans and eye rolling - but it actually works.

Where is the lazy leprechaun, it's driving me nuts!

And to think, we're one weekend ahead of St Patrick's Day. I do hope you found your leprechaun in time for that. Missing leprechauns drive me nuts, too.

Auckland Zoo
Jase and I were going to visit Auckland Zoo when we were in, der, Auckland. But by then we'd gotten so sick of the city and travelling around, that we couldn't be bothered. Maybe next time?

Sisters Pashing

Another one of those searches that had me scratching my head; I can't recall every actually talking about sisters pashing on this blog?

Aly and Ajay Pictures
My name is Aly. My brother's name is Ajay. Imagine how surprised I was to find out that there is actually a band with the same name? And I thought my brother and I were just famous. But because I'm in a giving mood, I'll give you my very own Aly and Ajay pictures. With the ho hat! I promised pictures of that, once. You can thank me later.

A Place where there are Cars and Sunsets
I know where you can find this! A parking lot in the late afternoon!

Panadeine and Palpitations
I'm no Dr. Google but if you're having palpitations after taking Panadeine, I would probably stop. And see your real doctor.

I Dream of a Big Chest
Perhaps you should try some cleavage cupcakes?

Camel Penis Direction

I could be completely gross here, but I'll restrain myself. I've never actually been in close contact with a camel, nor its penis, so I have absolutely no clue which direction they go in?

Girl Spankers Phone Numbers
I can assure you that all the phone numbers I have in my mobile phone are NOT spankers. Can't help you there.

Primary School Lockdown

Follow the procedures and don't panic!

Forcing kids to go Barefoot

That sounds rather mean. I don't like the word 'force'.

What's wrong with being grouchy?

Absolutely nothing, if you ask me. [stomps off, grumbling.]

Negatives of New Scheme Teachers Accreditation
It's a CRAPLOAD of work, for one. Not everyone has to do it, which is hardly fair. And I finished my accreditation last year, and it still hasn't even been sent off to be approved yet. Getting cranky..

Something Kinda Woo!
Listening to old Fall Out Boy songs makes me go Woo! [end teenybopper moment.] Yeah, I don't know about this one either.

Beware of Curam
I'll admit, I had to search for this one tonight because I had no idea what it is? Apparently it's some kind of software? To which I respond, yes, beware. Computers are unpredictable little buggers. And they give you viruses. It's true!

Eboni's Sickness
I do hope Eboni feels better soon, even though I don't actually know who Eboni is. Poor dear.

I'm So Sorry, Love Monkey

That's okay, Snuggle Bear. That's okay.

Unsolved Bites
Sounds like you need your own private detective, to solve the mystery of the unsolved bites! I promise it wasn't me.

Uncontagious Glandular Fever
Isn't all glandular fever contagious? Stay away from me, please. I'm feeling much better lately.

River Cruise Blogs
I've been on a couple of river cruises, but sadly I don't have a whole blog writing about the experiences. Perhaps that could be my next project?

Old Cars
I used to drive one. My dad drives one. How about you?

Confessions of a Dork
I know I'm comfortable with it and all, but why does everyone have to keep on bringing it up? You're going to give me a complex.

Who Sings "Throw Some D's on That, Bitch"

Apparently, it's someone called Rich Boy.

Good Excuses for not taking a test

I don't have any good excuses handy, but I do have some darned funny
test response images that I was sent in an email the other day. What's
that? Of course I'll share! (You'll need to enlarge them!)

Contiki Sex / Having Sex on Contiki
It's not a requirement or anything. But I'm sure you could do it, if you tried hard enough.

Claudia Karvan Hairstyles

Bugger Claudia Karvan, I would like some explanations as to why my hair has not grown back AT FRIGGING ALL, in the three months since the hairdresser snipped it all off. Did she use mutated scissors or something? Shit! I might as well do a Britney.

Getting a Fringe
Yeah, don't talk to me about that either. I'm over hair.

Sexy Joggers
Because nothing screams sexy like running shoes.

Turning off the Lights
Sometimes I find I sleep better at night if I do this.

I've Been Waiting for this Moment
.. For all my life. That reminds me of a Roswell episode I watched just the other night. Maria singing in the Crashdown. I am a dork!

If you're looking for trouble, you're in the right place
That sounds a wee bit threatening. This is a happy place!

Contiki Party
There are lots of parties on Contiki. Which is why I can't wait to do my American tour(s)!

Rainbow Springs, NZ
A beautiful, beautiful place. I saw lots of pretty things there; like huge pools full of trout, wild birds and plants, a baby emu (which are Aussie!) and a robotic looking kiwi.

Ramblings of a Teacher

You've come to the right place!

Sucking my Teachers Toes

..Or maybe not.

Paying Excess if I am not the driver at fault
I feel your pain with this one, I really do. Insurance companies tend to try and suck the money out of you as best they can. Basically, you need proof to say that you were definitely not at fault, and with a little luck, you'll get out of the excess.

Playing Board Games
On this lazy Sunday, I'd love to find someone to play board games with. Any takers?

Paullina Simons - The Summer Garden

Not her best work, but I still adore Tatjana and Anthony.

Johnny Rzeznik Sims Character

What a sexy character that would be. If only I had the Sims 2.

I want Shoes, Bitches!

Me, too! Do you know how long it has been since I actually went and BOUGHT new shoes? Months!

Peeling Potatoes

Step 1: Get a potato or seven. Step 2: Get a potato peeler. Step 3: Peel potatoes. And there you have it.

Lick Nachey
I love that I am not the only one who completely muddled up his name. Nick Lachey, Lick Nachey - the latter sounds much better, don't you think?

A Somewhat Busy Saturday.

I'm feeling very accomplished today, and it's barely 2pm on Saturday. Love that feeling!

I enjoyed a leisurely sleep-in, until I was rudely awoken at around 10am by my brother sending me a text message - "What time are you guys voting today, and where?" Being the scatterbrain that I am, I completely forgot that today was the NSW State Election Day, so I hurriedly got up and dressed, waiting to go with Ajay when he got home from his girlfriend's place.

He didn't come home straight away though, meaning I got bored while waiting. My grandma is staying with us for her birthday this weekend, so I gave out her present, annoyed my dad for a while (love that!) and went for a treadmill walk. Somewhere in the middle of the father/daughter bantering session, I agreed to help him wash the dogs if he agreed to help me wash my car. Don't ask me how that worked out!

Dad washed Rusty (the weird, crazy dog) and I washed Max, we gave them a bit of a haircut and then moved on to my car. The weather here has been insane lately, crappy spells of rain followed by hot, hot days. Hence my car was absolutely filthy! Ajay arrived home at that time, so we co-erced him into helping me wash the car too. Looks very shiny now, I must say.

(I had to put up with lots of rolled eyes and snide comments though; I'm not very good at washing or drying or polishing cars! But it's a skill I'm happy to have lacked out on, maybe the boys will feel sorry for me and will wash my neglected baby more often!)

Now that I'm all showered and relaxed, I've pottered around, had a late breakfast and done some washing. I'm ready to vote, too. Really, both major "sides" of the election are as bad as each other; some days I wonder why we bother. Not one of them gives a damn about teachers, and that's probably my most selfish concern. They just ride around in their fancy cars and stuff the working public around. What a career, eh? Reckon I could do that..

Quote of the Day.

Jase: Even though you are a smart ass, I still love you.

Touche, baby.

To Tag or Not to Tag?

I'm opening up this particular post to any bloggers, lurkers or extra-terrestrial beings that happen to drop by this site today. If you know someone else who might be interested in giving a response to the forthcoming question, please give them a link over here. (I am nosy and would like as many opinions as possible.)

The question of the hour is;

What do you think about being tagged?

Have no idea what I'm talking about? That's okay. And just so you know, I am not referring to the type of tag that has me pulling my hair out on the school playground. ("Stop running on the concrete! You'll fall down!" THUD. "WAHHH, my knee!" [sigh.] "Go and get a bandaid.") No, I'm talking about the tagging that goes around in the blogosphere, especially when it comes to memes, quizzes or surveys.

Maybe I'm just showing my teacher side, but I'll confess; sometimes I feel uncomfortable with tagging my blogging friends when I'm participating in random quizzes. It doesn't stop me from posting mindless meme entries, oh no! I love me a good survey or fifteen. But I hate the thought of choosing only a few people out of my blogging friends, and I hate leaving people out. Maybe I've just seen too many kids get left out on the playground, or getting picked last for sports teams. So, being the dork that I am, I generally refrain from tagging people.

On the same note, I should also confess that I love finding out that someone else has tagged me to take part in something. (They love me, they really love me!) or is it... (They must think my blogging entries are piss-poor lately, and that a meme will shut me up.)

Anyway, it's just a random curiosity I have. Let me know what you think about it all. Even if you think I am being a dork writing an entry about tagging, that's alright too. Power to the dorks!

Soundtrack to My Life.

Because after a day filled with cricket, humourous kidlet comments ("Look at MY big balls!" - Preschooler, playing with playdough) and horribly humid weather, a meme is about all I can be bothered writing right about now.

If your life was film what would the soundtrack be?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library. (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player,
iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question,
type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool.
7. When you're finished, tag some other people to do it!

Opening Credits:
Hello - Evanescence. (Well, that's appropriate.)

Waking Up:
Kissing You - Des'ree. (Am straight the point, no?)

First Day At School:
Gravity - John Mayer.

Falling In Love:
Always - Bon Jovi. (I love this song!)

Fight Song:
Unsaid - The Fray. (That'll work.)

Breaking Up:
Silence - Sarah McLachlan/Delirious.

11am - Incubus. (Who has a prom at 11am?)

Mr Brightside - The Killers.

Making babies:
Closer - Better Than Ezra. (Oh, how perfect is this?)

Roads - Portishead.

Perfect Memory - Remy Zero.

Until I Wake up - Dishwalla.

Getting back together:
Fade Into You - Mazzy Star.

Who Makes You Feel? - Dido. (Not the ideal ballad.)

Birth of
Starry Eyed Surprise - Paul Oakenfold. (A party song!)

Final Battle:
City Hall - The Fray. (Is this where the battle takes place?)

Death Scene:
Can't Let It Go - Goo Goo Dolls. (I'm clinging to life, fwee!)

Away From the Sun - 3 Doors Down. (Lovely!)

Anything - Mae. (I guess it didn't care what my credits were.)

I'm tagging anyone who is feeling a bit lack-lustre towards blogging today. You're it!

Keeping it Short and Sweet.

Had a good day today;

  • A lovely member from my New Zealand Contiki put a whole batch of photos together (with music!) in a slide show VCD. So exciting! Must go back!

  • Managing not to get lost driving to and from a teaching course after school. (Thanks, Belinda!)

  • Still walked on the treadmill when I got home, even though I felt lazy. The Biggest Loser is motivating.

  • Received my black platform Havaianas from Ebay! Yay!

  • Going to bed and sleeping.. ahh.. sweet, sweet sleep.

Hoping your day was just as fabulous.

Bless You.

Here's a visual image for you to picture in your head;

[Warning: This post makes use of the word booger. And snot. Consider yourself warned.]

Picture, if you will, my small class sitting on the floor of their fabulously stylish classroom. It's just on 9am, the kidlets have just walked in the door so are relatively calm and waiting for me to mark the roll. One little girl does a dainty little sneeze and walks over to get a tissue, which subsequently causes all the other little girls in the class to fake sneeze also. (Who knew there were cool groups in second grade?)

Picture, if you will, me sitting on my chair trying not to a) smirk or b) let out any sarcastic comments that early in the morning. I waited for the girls to get over the tissue fascination and wash their hands, and then started our morning rituals - marking the calendar, going over the spelling, talking about the new homework we are starting. I asked the kidlets a question about their homework and there was a long pause until one hand went up. Relieved, I nodded at him to answer the question.

Picture, if you will, this particular kidlet opening his mouth to answer, but instead releasing the world's loudest and snottiest sneeze. Not only did it scare the crap out of me (and probably half the class as well), it also shot out the biggest booger I've ever seen in my life; this insanely long string that landed at my feet. I don't recall actually saying anything after that, I didn't have to. The dainty sneeze blowing princess shuffled over my mutant sneezer and just handed him the entire tissue box.

And that was it. He just pissed himself laughing. Which set off the whole class. Which set off me. Some days, you've just got to laugh.

(Who's taking bets on when I'll get sick again? Odds are good.)


And because I was tagged by Lara, here is a nice quick bit of musical information for you.

"List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what they are.
They must be songs you are presently enjoying." Yes, yes, tag, tag. I choo-choo-choose YOU.

1. Belief - John Mayer (Effing fabulous.)
2. Silence - Sarah McLachlan (Brokedown Palace version.)
3. Vienna - The Fray
4. Everything's Just Wonderful - Lily Allen
5. Collide - Dishwalla
6. Round Here - Counting Crows
7. It's Time to Dance - Panic! At the Disco

Geez, I could list five hundred songs that I adore and love. These are just the first ones that come to mind. :)

Sunday Google-age Round 4.

I find it a wee bit scary that I'm filling up an A4 piece of scrap paper with random searches in a short week now. Oh well; while the lurkers keep lurking, the google-age will continue.

Australian slang for 'grouchiness'
The only one I can think of off the top of my head would be cranky? Snarky? Stroppy? Mighty pissed off?

'Didly Squat' Aussie slang
One usually says didly squat to refer to nothing.
For example;
Q - Did your blog get any new visitors this week?
A - No, none, didly squat!

How do you cure a chest infection with mucus?
Stiffness under my armpit
Dental Blogs
Naprogesic and Migraines and the Pill
Diseases for Patients
When is a chest infection most contagious?
Teacher with a chest infection

This isn't even including the repeated chest infection questions. Oh
well, at least noone asked me for snotty pictures this week. Funny, I
still haven't recieved any payments from Doctor Google yet. Diseases
for patients is pretty ambiguous. Isn't there a journal with every
disease in it, or something? As for the teacher with a chest infection
- that was absolutely me! (Just a couple of weeks late.)

Haiku Ramblings
I think you're looking for this post. How about another?
Must go and work out
The weekend is almost gone
I am so lazy.

Reindeer Stalking
Isn't it a little late for reindeer stalking? Surely Santa has them all locked away in their stalls resting up for next Christmas. If you do want to try your hand at stalking some possessed electronical reindeer, I'll bet my neighbour still has his locked up in his garage. Come try your luck.

Happy Spanador Pups
Sigh. I still want my puppy so bad, but I have to wait a couple of years for it, I'm afraid. Aren't all puppies happy? Look after your Spanador, or I shall hunt you down.

Long Girly Puppy Names
How about.. ChristinaLinaBoBina? Is that long and girly enough for you? I only have boy puppy names picked out, no girl ones. Sorry!

Downloading Charmed

Tsk Tsk. Why don't you just go buy it instead? They are pretty boxsets. And not that expensive either. I know I have.

Teddy Geiger went to my Primary School
That's wonderful! Did he sing you pretty songs? Lucky.

Confucius for Kids
Confucius says.. Google searcher who followed this link, go to the wrong place for help.

Topless Ladies Sign
Sarah McLachlan's Boobs

Here we go again.. And personally, as boobalicious as Sarah's chest is, I really love her for her voice. That's the truth!

Women Squishing Bugs
That woman certainly isn't me. I had Jason running around with paper towel all Friday night chasing the cockroaches that were taking over my house. Blech. AWFUL.

Triangle Pattern Skin Blisters
I can't help you with blisters, but I did once get bitten by three mosquitos (or one hungry one?) that left bites in the shape of a triangle. It's a secret alien message, if you ask me.

Barefoot Jason Behr Pictures
I thought I'd help out here and find you one myself, but alas! There are no barefoot Jason Behr pictures on Google Images. Oh, the shame. Can I interest you in a shirtless picture from his Roswell days instead? Or if you're not interested I can just stare at it myself. No, really. I don't mind.

Brandon Boyd refused to sign my Dollar Shirt.
Whoa, like a real dollar shirt? Where you fold your dollar bill up into a t-shirt? You know, I had never heard of that before until I saw Angela's post about it. We can't really do that here in Australia, since our $1 comes in a coin. That's beside the point! How mean of Brandon! Were you trying to shove the t-shirt down his pants before you asked him to sign it? I would have been. Hmm. Maybe next time ask him to sign something different? Your chest, perhaps? That'll keep the topless searches coming back.

Perfect Wedding
Mother of the Bridezilla
Want to get Married
Totally uncomfortable Bridesmaid Shoes

From the look of these searches, you'd think this blog had gone wedding mad. Speaking of Bridezillas, I must remember that every Saturday afternoon on Arena there is a mini-marathon. Fantastic. Want to get married? Wait, is that a statement - or are you proposing? Squee! And most bridesmaid shoes are uncomfortable, aren't they? The one and only time I've ever been a bridesmaid, I wore flat ballet slippers. They were uncomfortable too, since I kept stepping on the hem of my dress.

Restless in my Head
I feel you, pal. I really do. I am feeling a wee bit restless myself.

Silly Faces and Super Bouncy Balls
I could be really crude and revolting here, but I'll restrain myself. Feel free to respond to this Google-ism in the comments. Hee.

I Look Like a Beached Whale
Perhaps we should start a support group, then.

Nutbush and Macarena Dances
Ha! The two dances I can proudly do, without falling over. Here's a random fact for the day; when I went to New Zealand, the Kiwis and Americans had no idea what the Nutbush was! (Gasp.)

When I want it, I should get it
I like this theory; so where is my puppy?

Forgive the Urgency, but Hurry up and Wait
Only one of my favourite song lyrics of all time. It's from a song called "Look After You" by the Fray. Brilliant!

I Went Fast
Did you? That's er, great.

Love your Shoes and Hat, Looks Great!
I'll gladly take the shoes compliment, but the hat? What hat? I only wear hats when I'm on playground duty, and they aren't anything special. Do you want something? Are you buttering me up? It'll never work.. alright, what is it?

Beware of the Computer Virus
This particular search was displayed in about six different ways, each asking about the computer virus. While I feel a lot better, I still think this blog is semi-contagious, so you have been warned.

Useful Chick Stuff
I'm betting you my entire boxset collection (!) that this search was done by someone with a penis? Hmm. Useful.. Oh, I know! When we chicks ask you what you're thinking, answer the damn question. And even if we say we don't want a present, ignore us and buy us one anyway. That's always useful. And we never just look fine.

Goth People who Stalk in the Night
This is officially now my favourite Google-ism of all. I don't even know what to say to this, other than to giggle like a schoolgirl and hope they don't come after me. Arrrgh!

Hello, New Readers!

As a pre-emptive post to tomorrow's Sunday Google-age hits, I've decided to create a more updated introduction to my blog. It seems like more and more people are dropping by (albeit very briefly) and I think it's only fair that they learn a little more about me while they're here. Onwards we go!

To the wonderfully good-looking person reading this message,

A hearty welcome to you! Whether you dropped in from a random Google search, or a link from another blog, or because you like to read mindless ramblings, it's lovely to have you.

So you're here, you're checking out the entry that linked you here OR the very first entry (both completely random in nature). Where do you go next? Do you quickly close the page, telling yourself that this blog isn't what you are looking for? Do you read back and give a few more pages a chance? Do you get distracted by the stack of other stalkeriffic blogs linked on the sidebar?

Let me recommend a good place to start: The age old 100 Things page. It contains, yes, 100 things about me - also completely random. See if there are some things there that interest you in a blogger. See if there are some things that are completely opposite to your tastes because you know, they say opposites attract.

Of course, there are lots of other posts out there too. You don't have to like what you read. Heck, there are some posts that I've made that even I cringe at when I back-track through the months. (No, they didn't make it to this list.)

I am, however, going to keep on blogging (daily too, because I am special like that) just because I can. And because the people that I've met on here are bloody fabulous. If you're up for making a new friend, I do hope you keep reading and send me a line every once a while. Make sure you pay my blogging friends a visit, before you go.

Sending you virtual hugs,


Dork, Interrupted.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it here before, but I happen to be the kind of girl that loves organisation. If you look into my room (past the mess on the floor and the unmade bed, that is) you'll see that my DVD collection is all in order, my books go from tallest to shortest, and that I am madly in love with cardboard storage containers to stack paperwork in.

My classroom is the same. I adore sticky labels, so I don't have to draw on folders or containers and ruin them. Everything is as colour co-ordinated as possible, and I have been known to rip down entire display walls when I realise I've hung up the kidlets work crooked.

I was asked to help out with BookClub at school last week, which I straight away got WAY too excited about. I remember BookClub from my own primary years, where I'd take it home and promptly circle practically every item in the catalogue. (Mum had the fun job of telling me I could choose one or two things from it. "But I want them alllllll.") The kidlets take the catalogues home and the parents pay for which books they want.

Anyway, I skipped out of school today with my little project tucked under my arm. It's all very modern these days, you place all the orders online, pay the invoices and boom! A box of books appears a couple of weeks later. A plastic display folder, a handful of order forms, a batch of Excel spreadsheets and a whole bundle of sticky labels later, I am up to my ears in BookClub.. and still loving it!

Yes, we all know I am a dork. And that might explain the reasoning behind me buying this t-shirt from Threadless a couple of days ago. Say it with me now - dork!


About Today.

I could write a really detailed post today.

About how the kidlets had their first Easter hat making group today and that they spilled fifty thousand pieces of glitter onto my carpet before I remembered to tell them to take it outside.

About how my rabbits still refuse to sleep anywhere other than their (dirty) litter tray, no matter what special bedding I use to entice them out of the habit.

About how I sat at the kitchen table reading junk mail catelogues for about half an hour before I realised that I had been sitting there for, oh, half an hour.

Oh no, today I shall spare you the boring bits. Instead, I shall leave you with a soul-searching question.

What colour underpants are YOU wearing today?

That and This.

No Haiku this afternoon, as fun as it was writing up yesterday's post. I could create a whole blog in Haiku quite happily. Perhaps I shall do that sometime. Hmm. The lightbulb just flickered on above my head.

Speaking of that, just when I get my head around using Typepad quickly and easily for blogging, it goes all tricky and changes on me. Not big changes, oh no, sneaky little ones that spring up out of nowhere and leave me scratching my head. Don't think I like it.

Anyway, more bits and pieces from me today.

No word on the blood test; the only evidence I even have of it is the weird bruise I have in the crook of my arm. It makes me a tad self-conscious actually; it's not the most flattering vein to have marks around. I still am having problems swallowing and talking loudly, it's a constant pain which flares up at weird times. I also can't sing to my full (and shocking) potential, as I discovered on the drive home this afternoon. (Some may think of that as a positive; thank your lucky stars you haven't heard me singing!) It's safe to say I am well and truly over it by now.

Dancing last night was hilarious! I still have no co-ordination, made painfully obvious when the grandma's around me were happily spinning around as I floundered in the wrong direction. I kind of like learning the steps to the dances though; it's quite fun. I'll tell you what though, I was sweating like a pig after we were done. Mum goes twice a week, I think I'll keep joining her for the Tuesday night beginners class. Mother/daughter bonding (notice I didn't say bondage? Wait.. darn.) sessions!

Am absolutely loving the newest Silverchair song, Straight Lines. It seems like they've grown up a lot, I remember buying Frogstomp while I was in primary school. All my non-Aussie readers, I suggest you download it. It's well worth it, Daniel Johns has a great voice;

Wake me up low with a fever
Walking in a straight line
Set me on fire in the evening
Everything will be fine
Waking up strong in the morning
Walking in a straight line
Lately I?m a desperate believer
But I?m walking in a straight line.

Am absolutely NOT loving the fact that the DVD player in my bedroom has blown up out of nowhere, taking with it one of my X-Files DVDs. Roar. I don't care so much about the crappy player, I want the disc out! Mick very helpfully suggested I just smash it, but I'm trying to restrain myself until I see my dad next, see if he can make it behave.

Haiku Ramblings.

Am feeling quite sad
And I don't really know why
I think I'm lonely.

(So I don't really think I'm lonely; I know I am.)

My throat still feels crap
But no doctor phone calls yet
I am a whinger.

(I guess that means I don't have glandular fever? Or that they've simply lost my blood, or my phone number, or the ability to dial telephones?)

School was fine today
Have nothing special to say
I love my kidlets.

(One wrote a WHOLE paragraph backwards today. As in, I needed a mirror to read it - she started from right to left, and wrote each word perfectly in reverse. Kooky.)

And this evening
I am going line dancing
I am a big dork.

(My mum is the dancing queen, I'm just going along for the ride. Last time I went dancing, my lack of co-ordination saw me spinning off in one direction while everyone else went the other way.)

We're All Hopeless!

Some days I have trouble saying what I want to say. No, I'm not being cryptic, I literally cannot spit the words out properly. Days when I start doing spoonerisms; when I muddle up words, make up new words, or put sentences together that don't make sense.

(I swear, I'm not that bad a teacher. I do manage to use correct grammar and words that exist on most days. Really!)

Today was one of the more muddled up days, though.

I asked mum whether she whipped up the chocolate mousse we're having for dessert in the winnebago. Er, winnebago meaning blender, of course. Two very easy words to mix up. (Snort.)

The kidlets and I have been reading lots of Dr Seuss, because they're wonderful for rhyming words and short sentences. Since they love the random stories so much, for handwriting  I've been choosing random pages of the book to write up. This afternoon I was marking away, and came across this gem;

"The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play.
So we sat in the hose, all that cold, cold, wet day."

Not amusing to some, but very to me. Hee. For some reason, I keep getting this visual image of little children huddled in a garden hose.

Mondays are a great day at work; I'm on class in the morning session but then get my 2 hours of RFF (relief from face to face teaching) in the middle session, and then a whole school assembly in the afternoon. While I'm on my break, the RFF teacher is doing a mini-unit on animals. Today they were doing a worksheet classifying animals by their features, how many legs does a crab have, a kangaroo have, a dog have, etc.

I happened to look over at one kidlet's work as I walked past his desk and he was very earnestly filling in his columns. 2 legs; Humans, Emu, 4 legs; Dogs, Cats, Over 4 legs; Crap. (Poor chook did mean to write crab, I'm sure of it.)

Bet you $10 that you didn't know that crap has over four legs. Guess you learn something new every day, eh?

Sunday Google-age Round 3.

I'm learning to love my random Google-age; not only does it give me a good laugh at how people are stumbling across my part of the internet, but it also gives me something to blog about on this not-so-interesting Sunday. What a perfect combination!

Whack a Goldfish
Strangely enough I don't even own a goldfish, let alone have time to 'whack' one. I'm not quite sure what context the word 'whack' is being used in here - is it 'whack' as in hit? Or 'whack' in Mafia terms, i.e: "I'ma go and whack Joey's brother." Who knows? Rest assured, no goldfish were harmed in the making of this blog.

Y'all Come Back Now
Did you know that for the longest time, I was saying this the wrong way, more like ya'll. Thankfully, Southern Belle Miss Sassy told me the correct way. Y'all! Now I can pretend to be American the RIGHT way.

Heavy Chest Diagnosis
I think I need to go to medical school and get my doctors licence, because darned if I'm not THE place to come to for diagnostic advice. Perhaps I could earn a little extra moolah on the side, too?

Whistling "The Ants Go Marching" While At Work
In my line of work, there is absolutely nothing wrong with whistling this little diddy at work. Of course, in my line of work we also sing songs about bunky-bunky elephants and purple-people eaters, so that's not really saying much. Perhaps you could update your Ipod with other distracting kids songs, for a bit of extra variety you know?

Wandering the Streets
.. In a world underneath it all. Isn't that a song lyric? Aha! It is from Teddy Geiger's song which I should secretly mention that I have on my Itunes. Ho-Hum. If you are wandering the streets, I hope you are wearing a sturdy pair of shoes. That is all.

Big Labradors
Squee! Part of my good news from yesterday, is that in approximately 3 years (give or take) I will be the proud momma of two labradors. Make sense? No? That's okay. But one of them will be called Jack. I'll get back to you on the other. Random, random.

Barefoot Spanking
Sigh. Here we go again. I'm almost tempted to Google this myself and link to a couple of damn pages for the wannabe-spankers out there, but I'm too scared of what I'll actually find. Maybe next week, if I'm in the right mood. (Is there a right mood for that?)

What is in John Mayer's top?
Wouldn't I like to know? April, I am seeing Mr Mayer in concert in April. I'll try and peek down his top for you if I can, even though we'll be a bajillion seats away from him. It's okay. He shall link eyes with me from the stage and sparks shall fly and we shall run away together, and THEN I'll tell you what is in his top. Promise.

Sneeze and Mucus Nose Pictures
ACCCCK. Alright, so I understand the whole spanking pictures fantasy, but pictures of snot? Am lost and suitably disgusted. These gems might interest you, though. Great party trick.

Girls Swimming in Their Underwear
Did Typepad rate my blog Adults-Only or something? Because unless I am posting secret adult messages in my sleep, I really am at a loss for these ones. But with all these random visitors, you'd think they at least comment once in a while? Am feeling neglected!

Bloody Annoying Lyrics
Okay, since we're back to seeking my advice, I feel obliged to help out here. I have to say, I think the most annoying lyrics I can think of right now are from that "Wish I was a punk rocker" song by Sandi Thom. Bloody annoying indeed. Someone should just clobber her over the head with a guitar or something. I also don't like lyrics that don't make sense; i.e. Justin Timberlake's newest song - "When you cheated girl, my heart bleeded girl." Alright JT. I realise you've suddenly become appealing out of nowhere, and that you've brought the sexy back, but BLEEDED is not a word! The bad grammar! My eyes! It burns!

The Use of Chalkboards in Primary School
I was all excited when I walked into the classroom last year and saw a chalkboard. For some reason, I write much neater on them than I do on whiteboards. Luckily, the classroom I was moved into this year still has an old chalkboard, so I'm happy again for now. Apparently they're planning on getting rid of all the chalkboards due to allergies and mess and what-not, but I think it's a secret ploy to have whiteboards take over the world. You heard it here first.

Dancing the Jitterbug
Well, my dancing is limited to the Hokey Pokey, the Mexican Hat Dance, Heel and Toe, the Macarena and the Nutbush (as well as some Hi-5 songs, thanks to Mrs H!) so I'm just going to forward any technical questions to our resident dancer. They're all yours, Lara.

Stupid Hats
If you want to see a picture of Gavin Degraw and his abundance of stupid hats, you're in the right place. He has an awful lot of them, actually. However, if you would like to see little old ME wearing a stupid hat, just look to your left. (Feel free to enlarge the cuteness for your viewing pleasure.)

Cleavage Cupcakes
I had to take the bait on this subject header, and consult the Googlemachine myself. Apparently THESE are cleavage cupcakes. Plain ol' jelly boobs or chicken fillets, as my friend once called them. And here was me thinking they were real live cupcakes squished down into your bosom. Bummer!

Panadol Makes My Eyes Swollen
Those cheeky doctors, recommending Panadol all the time! If I were you, um, I would stop taking it. Try a Nurofen instead?

Isn't She Perfect?
She sure is! Absolutely perfect! Yep. Wait, who are we talking about?

Hugest Ass
Well friend, you've come to the right place. My butt(s) and I welcome you to this peaceful place. Pull up a chair and make yourself at home.

Trendy Clothing for 20 Year Olds
Oh dear, this is possibly the most misleading search result EVER. Didn't you catch my latest admission; I'm actually a huge dork. And sadly, that also means that I am the least trendy 20-something that I know. The trendiest outfit I own would consist of jeans, a top and most likely a pair of thongs. Am a dag, but a comfy one at that. Sorry!

Stomping Boots
This pair o'boots look like they might suit your needs..?

Roll Over
Good dog!

Why Can't A Person Do A Workout When They Cough?
I've been asking myself this for the past two bloody weeks; ever since I caught the Goth Bug 07, I've been unable to walk more than about 10 minutes on the treadmill without feeling like I'm going to fall off it. So as for my answer: They can't workout because they're sick? (For me, coughing on the treadmill means forgetting to pay attention to my feet, which equals losing my footing, stacking it in a spectacular way, and eventually death by exercise equipment. Not pretty.)

Until next Sunday, happy Google-age!

This and That.

I have to say, today has been a really strange day.

The mysterious illness hasn't completely gone away, and I could barely eat or talk last night because it felt like I had razor blades in my throat. Ack! I booked an appointment at the medical centre near Jason's house this morning, and had a consultation with a doctor who had absolutely NO facial expressions the entire time I was there.

She asked lots of questions, informed me that my thoat was still inflamed, that my glands were both up, and that I possibly have glandular fever. (Which consequently has no real cure, aside from feeling like crap for several weeks, apparently.) She took a blood test, told me they would let my usual doctors surgery know if there was anything showing in it, and then told me go take a Panadol.

(Ha! I am kidding. She did not say this. She just kind of nodded at me and then I left. Not even a smile on the way out. Weird!)

I also found out today that Jason is planning on leaving me!

(I'm going to pause for extra dramatic effect.)

Okay, so not really. But he IS planning on going overseas earlier than what I intend to; his brother has already made the move from Sydney to London, and apparently the job prospects for IT companies early in the new year are slim. I've already decided I have no intention of going overseas this year, as I will be teaching until December. So instead of waiting for me, it seems that he is going to leave about four months earlier than I am able to. My goal will be to get there myself early next year.

Of course, this little revelation resulted in stunned silence, tears, as well as some crankiness on my part. Four months! It's a long time. And he is planning on making the move in around August, which means he would miss our five year anniversary in September. Boo. No present! (!) The move is not definite yet, just a goal.

But I also received some good news which makes me feel a lot better and finally, a lot more secure about where our relationship is headed - something I've been needing to hear about for several months now. Damned if I don't love the boy. Sigh.

So, this afternoon I am left feeling a little bit sick, a little bit sad and a little bit excited all in the same breath. There are lots of good things ahead and I'm in no need to rush them right now. In fact, I'd be happy with a fully-open throat airway over anything else.

(Fingers crossed I don't get any phone calls on Monday, and that I'm just a big whinger who has the remnants of a cold and nothing more.)

Where is your boy tonight?

... I hope he is a gentleman.

Maybe I should blame Fall Out Boy for my bizarre dream yesterday. I was snoring away in the early hours of the night when I was woken up by Ajay ringing my mobile phone - he was at their concert, knew my favourite song of theirs and rang to let me hear it, bless his cotton socks.

Which was all well and good, until I fell asleep again and started having the most bizarre dreams. Even more bizarre is the fact that I can actually remember them, since usually I have a bad habit of forgetting them.

Last night's dream involved me and two strangers; one male and one female. We were in the middle of a town (No idea where it was, never seen anything like it before) and we were searching for something. We were looking in gardens, shop windows, homes, searching for this "thing" and knowing it was there somewhere, just not able to find it. Eventually the lady disappeared and it was just me and the random male stranger. That was about as exciting as it got; searching, searching, but never finding what we were looking for. And then I woke up.

I wish I knew what it was I was searching for.. and why the others were also searching for the same thing. And where were we, anyway?

Surprisingly, the last two dreams I remember having in the past couple of weeks have involved complete strangers. And for the most part, I can remember all of them too.

In the first dream, I was a part of a tour group; I remember this because I had a suitcase and I was snapping pictures of everything. A person was telling us that this place (Also unfamiliar to me) was actually sinking, and that very soon the whole place would be under water. The next thing I remember was searching for my lost pair of Havaiana thongs, water rushing in everywhere and a random male stranger handing me my shoes back. I then remember giving him a hug; for some reason I felt like I knew this person, although I have no idea now who it was.

In the second dream, I was busy making icecream. (I told you I was partial to icecream!) Except this was no ordinary icecream, this was icecream made with vegetables. (This is how you KNOW it was a dream, there is no way would I willingly eat veggies in real life, I'm secretly four years old.) I was cutting them up in the school staff room (Finally! A place I know!) and then this random male stranger turned up and started helping me cut up more vegetables - to which I told him "Thanks, but I used to work in a fruit shop, you know!" and we continued companionably making vegetable icecream together until I woke up.

How do I come up with these dreams? Some are just so random, makes me wonder what I was thinking about as I fell asleep, or what my subconscious is trying to tell me. I do love dreaming, as strange as they are the next day. I love how they make perfect sense in the night, and absolutely none the next morning. I only wish I could figure them out.

Mine, All Mine!

And no.. I am not talking about dessert, although I am partial to cheesecake if you are offering. Or icecream with sprinkles.

No, in completely random and day-old news, as of yesterday I am officially the owner of A NEW CAR!!!

Are you confused? Didn't I just BUY a new car last year? A brand, spanking new one? (I just had to use the s-word, hee.)

Indeed I did!

But that was with some savings and the help of a whopping big loan. A rather hefty loan at that. The first loan I took out, actually.

And.. as of yesterday, that loan is paid. The pretty car is a big old asset now, which I am super proud of. Now, any savings that I make are going to go into a fund; for moving overseas to England AND for my American trip which I am determined to do next year.

Am royally chuffed. Perhaps I ought to buy another DVD set (or five) to celebrate! I am simply itching to travel again; anywhere and everywhere. Right now would be nice. Any takers?

They still call Australia home.

Perhaps the following anecdote won't be as funny to my international viewers who don't know much about Australian geography, but geez, it cracked me up in class today! (Thank goodness for that, because not much else about today was funny; the kids were off the planet and my throat, gack, the soreness!)

Let me give you a quick history of the lesson first;

We were revising the states and territories of Australia (a gold star goes to any non-Aussie who can name them all WITHOUT consulting the Googlemonster) and with the help of a map, my kidlets had named just about all of them. All that we were missing was Australia's capital city. (Another gold star opportunity, folks, what is it?)

Me: Have a think about some towns you know, that might help you.
Kidlet #1: Sydney?
Me: No, it IS a capital city, but for New South Wales. Good try, though.
Kidlet #2: [insert name of school area here]?
Me: Hrm, not quite. This place is where our government buildings are, there are lots of politicians there. It starts with a C.
Kidlet #3: Coffs Harbour?
Kidlet #4: Canley Vale?
Kidlet #5: Oh! Oh! I know!
Me: Yes? (Holding my breath.)
Kidlet #5: CABRAMATTA!

The answer is, in fact, Canberra. And sadly, when I informed them of this, there were a lot of nonplussed faces. I think know I have a lot of work to do this year!

So apparently Aussies, our newest Capital city is Cabramatta, in Sydney's south-west. Perhaps I had better send parliament a nice note informing them of the change?

NB: Mick, I was going to tell them the capital city starting with C had lots of roundabouts and a crap football team, but I decided against it.

NB (again): I am going to give ANOTHER gold star to anyone who can diagnose my stupid ongoing illness -- I feel a bit better flu-wise, but I'm congested, still have the worst pain in my neck glands, my tongue feels swollen and sore and I sound like a man. I also can't raise my voice much. Help! I'm a teacher! Must recover!

Confessions of a 20-something Dork.

I have never hid the fact that I am a self-proclaimed dork.

To me? A dork is someone that is (hopefully) a little endearing, if not cutting edge in being trendy or fashionable or you know, up with the times. Note the hopefully.

So being the well-renowned amateur web journalist that I am, I decided to turn to trusty Google McGoogle to see what IT'S definition of a dork is. Thanks to the lovely folks at Urban Dictionary, these are probably my favourites.

  • Someone who has odd interests, and is often silly at times. A dork is also
    someone who can be themselves and not care what anyone thinks. (Score! That one sounds positive.)

  • A whale penis. (Yeah, yeah, we all knew that one was coming.)

  • A person capable of a full range of normal human social interaction but secretly
    harboring the desire to become a Dwarf and spend his/her life in the pursuit of
    the Dragon who stole his/her magical ale flaggon. (Oh dear.)

  • A person who does not know how to open doors and is a little slow in the head. (Sometimes I walk into sliding doors.)

  • An annoying person. (That hurts. It really hurts.)

  • A cool person whos only slightly loserish. (I really like the example that went with this one; "I'm a dork. But I'm fuckin cool!")

  • Someone who does things that are kinda silly and not neccessarily cool but
    always cute. (That's the definition I was going for. I want to be cute, damnit.)

Ahem. All journalism aside, I'm quite happy being a dork.

I don't think I've ever been a member of an in-group in ANY stage of my life. That's not to say I was completely isolated and started twitching uncontrollably when I came into contact with other human beings; I was just happier with a small group of friends rather than putting up appearances all the time. Everyone thinks that these groups magically disappear as soon as you leave high school, but look around; there is always a group of people who gravitate towards each other in any situation. Workplace? Check. Sporting groups? Check. Parties? Check. Blog World? Check. (It's true!)

I may not be part of any in-group, but I'm usually pretty happy (if a little whingy). I have people I can talk to when I need them, even if they are a thousand miles away. I don't need to wear designer shit to keep up with anybody. I don't need to OWN designer shit to keep up with anybody. (Although, I am currently having a love affair with Havaianas and my Ipod, so shoot my pseudo-trendy side.)

So, what makes me a dork?

I love to read. I love to write. I generally love to study, when it's something I am interested in. I do crossword puzzles. I love board games. I sing like a loon on SingStar even though I CANNOT SING. I know how to take a joke. I wear glasses (hee). I like computers (when they work). I don't have a huge amount of friends, but I'm generally okay with talking to random people. I can write with both hands. I still have a picture of Jason Behr (Max Evans from Roswell) in my room. I watch Dawsons Creek.

(Excuse me; taking a breath.)

I get excited when I receive e-mails and comments. I like dancing with the
kidlets in school discos even though I CANNOT DANCE. I really like some games, but NO role playing ones. (Even this dork has limits.) I have no idea what trendy people even DO
these days. I have really, really stupid moments where I lose all
common sense. I am terribly "blonde". I think the X-Files is cool. (No, really.) I
can't read a piece of paper without automatically searching for grammar
errors. I mix up my left and my right directions. I carry a book around with me in any overnight bags, in my car, and in most rooms of the house.

There you have it. I am a dork. And I am now off to eat some dorky breakfast, have a dorky shower and go back to my dorky bed.

Lightning Crashes.

I think I've mentioned a few times how much I love storms. If you're a new reader/lurker (come on out!) well, now you know. I love storms. My window faces a set of mountain ranges in the distance, and I always seem to get the best views of storms as they blow in towards them.

It's not uncommon for me to sit with my nose pressed against the glass, waiting to catch the perfect glimpse of lightning. Thunder doesn't frighten me, I love everything about rain (we're in the middle of a drought here, who wouldn't love rain?) but the lightning is hands down my favourite part.

Lightning is very elusive. Whenever I happen to be peering in a certain direction, a strike hits in the opposite direction. When I turn my head to look THAT way, a strike hits the very spot I was just staring at. It drives me mad! Everytime there is a storm, I always think how awesome it would be to just sit there snapping away with a camera, just hoping it's pointing in the right direction to catch an awesome lightning strike.

Last night, I went to bed early; I still am not well and I needed to be ready to go back to work Monday morning. As I went to bed, I looked out the window and saw some pretty amazing flashes in the distance; mostly sheet lightning but some forks as well. I only watched for a few minutes before lying down, but in that time I saw this fascinating strike; a real ground-toucher, so to speak. I was so impressed by it, I actually myself smiling. (Yes, I am a dork. It's true.) A second later, I was greeted with a lightning strike that looked exactly like Harry Potter's scar. I went to bed impressed, let me tell you.

Fast forward an hour or so, and that storm that was off in the distance had moved right on top of our suburb. The thunder wasn't loud at first, just low rumbles; it was the lightning that woke me. Imagine flashes so bright and so constant that it resembles someone turning your bedroom light on and off really fast. It was THAT quick and that powerful. (It was a perfect "horror movie storm", you know the scene where it's dark outside and the lightning flashes to reveal a guy walking down the street with a chainsaw? Hah!)

Of course, I got up and watched it but got quickly bored; sheet lightning isn't all THAT pretty to look at when it's covered in thick clouds. I called out to mum, ready to comment about how strange it was to have all that lightning and no thunder, and BOOM. Then came the thunder. The biggest, loudest claps I have ever heard! Ajay came in to join me, and we sat watching the storm for about ten minutes, when the lightning started to strike in forks again.

It was absolutely insane. I think the biggest storm I've seen, at least in a long while. The lightning strikes were so big, and so CLOSE, even I (who is not scared by storms at all) started to get a bit worried. Not about the lightning itself, more paranoid that it would hit something outside, like the bird aviary or the rabbits cage, and that I would come down the next morning to see a black pile of soot instead of a bunny. That kind of paranoia. Massive, massive storm. I eventually lay down and fell asleep, but the last thing I remember is flashes lighting up behind my closed eyes.

Really makes you think about how awesome Mother Nature is.

And now, the next day, here comes the rain again. It's not a "pretty" storm by any means, just grey and grumbly and miserable -  but I'm happy none the less. Here's hoping that the rain is going to the areas that need it the most.

Sunday Google-age Round 2.

Er, I'm not creative enough to put up a new blog header, but I did manage to spend five seconds in MS paint and come up with this beauty. Marvel at my artistic talents, yo.

Right. Now that's done, let's get on with the searches. This is swiftly becoming my favourite day of the week.

Catching contagious illnesses when eating in restaurants.

I don't have much expertise in that area, I'm only good at catching contagious illnesses when out at Evanescence concerts. Sorry about that.

Dean Geyer is hot.

I bet the majority of blog readers here now have absolutely NO idea who Dean Geyer is. Let me refresh your memories in one sentence; non-winner of Australian Idol last year, hot, HOT, did flips on stage, and did I mention hot? Yes. That's right.

Harry Potter - Who was puking?

Um. Let's see. There was that part in one of the books where Ron starts puking/burping up slugs? Or perhaps you were puking after seeing HP/Daniel Radcliffe posing with his bits hanging out in front of a poor horse? (Beware: Nudity!) Hmm.

Bad Haircuts.

My current hair is plain old horrid ever since the chop of death last December. In over two months, it's not yet even close to looking how it was. Stupid hairdresser. I hope she gets a really dodgy cut herself one day.. karma, y'know. Makes me wonder what this person was searching for though; whether they were SEARCHING for a bad haircut style or whether they were looking for other people's horrible cuts to make them feel better?

Please explain "Chasing Cars".

Other than it (once) being a catchy tune that I heard from Grey's Anatomy, I don't know much about the song - other than that it has lovely lyrics that I adore. Perhaps going here will find the answers to your question.

Heavy feeling in chest.

I recommend you seek the advice of Dr. Google in this situation. He'll either diagnose you with some foreign disease that sounds scary, or he'll tell you it's nothing. Or maybe you're just feeling sad? Or you left your free weights sitting on your chest again? Silly duffer.

Walk this way, it's Red Nose Day.

It is? But I've had a red nose since Wednesday? Crazy. But I wouldn't advise you to walk this way, I might still be contagious. I'd walk the other way, just to be safe. Or you could walk THIS way and check out some information about and English charity event that's apparently coming up.

Eye Candy.

Well, I'm flattered. No, really! I didn't realise you felt that way! Pasty faces, bags under the eyes and red noses must be the "in thing" on the catwalks these days. Fantastic. Would you like some eye candy? How about this? Or this? Some more?

Rebel Sport won't return my shoes.

Well. I dislike Rebel Sport very much, since they are horrible and rude and made returning a pair of faulty shoes bloody difficult. Oh, and I also had my car accident last year in the car park returning to deal with one of their incompetent stores, so I am a little biased. How about you just throw your shoes at their heads?

Redneck woman squishing mice.

My secret is out, bloody hell. That's me alright; I'm a redneck woman who runs around squishing mice. Seriously. When the heck have I ever mentioned redneck women in this blog? Other than my line-dancing mum of course, who is lovely and really not a redneck at all. She just sings about them. Loudly and slightly off key. With an American twang. Hee. Love you!

Throat closed off, Coughing, Hard to Breathe.

Face masks at the ready. It sounds like you've caught the great Goth Bug of 07. Be prepared for two weeks of feeling like crud!

He tells me things without speaking.

This is probably very innocent, but it sounds a wee bit creepy. I think I've been watching too many X-Files episodes. Now I'm all paranoid and looking over my shoulder and stuff. Eep.

I hate Ticketek.

I wondered when I had mentioned Ticketek, but when I searched this myself, my dear old blog comes up in the first page. That's right! Ticketek was acting like a turd and made me miss out on John Mayer tickets last year. Luckily Kirby is a legend, and we are going together this April. I AM SO EXCITED. I wonder if Jessica Simpson will be there? She has pretty teeth. Right, going off topic. I don't like Ticketek either.

Explicit Lyrics.

Except for the couple of people who come here looking for the "Throw Some D's on that, Bitch!" song, I'm claiming ignorance to this one. Oh. Oh! But I have recently discovered Lily Allen, and she has some great lyrics. Bonus; they also contain the EFF word!

First Topless Candycorn Shoot.

What. The. Heck. That's all I've got.

Gavin DeGraw's Stupid Hat.

Now I feel like I just HAVE to Google this, because I'd love to know what his stupid hat looks like. Is it this stupid hat? Or this one? Holy crap, he has LOTS of stupid hats. Wow! So which one was it?

Sexy Shoe Bitches.

Hey Lara, I think he's talking about you and I and our sassy December shoe blogging month. Whee.

Temperamental Tantrums in Children.

I've really only seen ONE huge tantrum thrower, and that was the little boy in my class last year. He's also in my class this year but fingers crossed, I've not seen much attitude this year. Apparently I used to throw good tantrums too, when I was a young'un.

Boring Playground Duties.

Belinda, are you reading this? People think playground duties are BORING? Never! Actually, I think we should bring this up at the next staff meeting in case it was one of our teachers that was searching for this. Let's see, what entertainment could we get in place? Perhaps we could get some juggling clowns following us around to make the duties more entertaining. Or live music? Dancing? Balloons? Any other ideas?

Teacher Dealing with Vomit in Class.

They don't teach you how to deal with THAT at university, do they? My advice? Get the kidlet to sickbay straight away so if they puke again, it isn't on your floor. And then bring on the non-smelly powder carpet cleaner stuff (isn't that useful?) and the air fresheners. Or maybe just do PE lessons outside for the rest of the day until the gross factor has settled down?

Converse Sneakers Trampled Me.

You poor blossom! Come here, let me hug you. That sounds terrible! Were you at an Evanescence concert when it happened? I hear there are Chucks a-plenty in those places. You've got to watch them. They get mischievous when they're in numbers.

Until next Sunday... Happy Googling!


There will come a time in your life where you have spent so much time lying down feeling sick, napping, reading or watching DVD's, that you just have to get out there and do something different. Since actually having a life right now is on hold (a cookie for you should you guess why? pah!) for me, that meant venturing downstairs and channel surfing. After getting suckered into more Will & Grace re-runs, I was lucky enough to catch Bridezillas, 3 episodes at that!

Holy crap.

Are people really like this? Is that what weddings are all about?

I am pretty naive when it comes to weddings, I've only been a guest to two and been a bridesmaid in one; that's basically it. The wedding I was bridesmaid for was my cousin's a couple of years ago and it was a smallish affair. The closest she came to a meltdown was about the colour of her flowers (they weren't the RIGHT shade of purple) and the fact that her dress fit a wee bit tighter than she remembered, but that was because she was pregnant with bubby at the time!

Actually, I would love to go to some more weddings. I want to be a bridesmaid again! I want to organise parties and have my hair done and do pretty things to surprise my bride-friend. Damnit. I should start putting out requests. Sadly, noone I know is actually engaged right now. Boo!

Anyway, seeing these women on television paying $10,000 for a ring, $10,000 for a dress, $5000 for a cake, $35000 for a reception, it just blew me away. That's more than I earn in a year! How the heck do they do it? WHY do they do it? Yes, yes, the perfect wedding and all that, but surely you can have a beautiful wedding without going insane like that, right?

To be honest, I haven't thought much about me getting married. I always wanted to get married young, have kids young, but the fine details? Never really thought much about them. And I definitely didn't think about the insane costs that go along with it. But I do have some ideas about what my non-existant future imaginary wedding might look like; basic, traditional, relaxed. Hell, I'd be happy for any kind of ring at all, none of this diva crap. It all looks like so much work.

I guess for now I can be thankful that I have absolutely nothing to worry about in that regard, eh? One of the perks of having no wedding looming in the distance. (The girly girl in me is stomping around and throwing a tantrum about that, though. Hush, you.) So to all my hitched and not-hitched readers, what are your thoughts on weddings? Were YOU a Bridezilla.. or is it yet to happen?

And can I be your bridesmaid? Pretty please? *bats eyelashes*

A Diversion.


Bet you thought I was going to whine some more about being sick, didn't you?



I am not!

Instead, I shall talk about nothing. Nothing at all! Random nothings!

Like how I haven't changed my blog header since Christmas because I'm not feeling creative. Like how I have been selling off some of my old university textbooks on Ebay really cheaply.. Like how I bought the rest of the Buffy DVDs today, finishing off my collection. Like the pretty green top I bought earlier. Like the fact that our internet connection here at home sucks like you would not believe. Like how I had this really, really good dream last night involving some random person that I haven't stopped thinking about all day. Like how bizarrely fickle my foreign X-Files DVDs are and why they have mysteriously started working in my player. Like how I haven't been able to breathe properly for the last two nights and how I sound like a wheezy old man when I talk.

Damn it.

I just talked about being sick.

Whatever. I tried. Just shoot me.

Beware: Computer Virus!

It seemed like just your average cold. A run of the mill flu that settled itself down into my chest and caused a wee bit of a havoc for a couple of days there. The medicines helped, I got better, I bragged about it, as you do. And then it came back, and we're right back to square one. Visit number two to the doctors surgery from hell; one hour and one batch of stronger antibiotics later, and I'm right back where I started. Must be Thursday-itis.

Kirby has been sick through all this with me. Jen was starting to feel sick last time I talked to her. And this morning? Lala AND Mick were both on Messenger; both feeling under the weather, one with pharyngitis and the other with a buggered foot. Yipes. Poor loves.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm spreading contagious (and non-contagious) diseases through this here blog. Feeling less than average? Random illness got you down? You've come to the right place. Just blame me!

My advice? Start backing away slowly from the computer and start running for the hills. I'm also considering providing complimentary medicinal masks for my dear readers. It's all about the contagions, y'know.

Bet you are surprised that I can still go on and on about a bloody cold, eh? What, this is about the fifth entry on being sick? Sixth? Now that, THAT is blogging talent. Admit it, you're jealous.

(And as for you guys, you WONDERFUL guys who left fantastic obscene comments in my last post, I love you. No really, I love you. And that's the 'effin truth!)

You've GOT to be kidding me.

So just after I brag about beating the horrible cold of last week, it has come back to bite me on the ass because right now? I have another cold. A horrible, red-nose, sinus and ear blocked cold. If I could find enough energy to shout, the words "mother" and "fucker" would be echoing around my house right now. But of course, I'm much too lovely to wander around screaming obscenities. It's much more refreshing to type it. Feel free to join with me now, if you're so inclined.

Other than infectious disease #2 for 2007 (not that I'm keeping tally or anything..) I don't have much to report. I'm loving my class of sixteen kidlets. They are a handful in regards to their learning but I've really only got one behaviour; the rest are all just hard work and need a lot of attention.

(There is one little girl that is getting close to me sticky-taping her mouth together though, she just NEVER stops talking! Sheesh! There's always that one kidlet in every class whose name you find yourself saying a hundred times a day.)

(But that is made up for by the sweetie who brought me a whole block of Cadbury chocolate as a present on Monday because I had been sick for those three days last week. Bless her cotton socks. Now that's my kind of gift.)

So - how's your week started out? (And make sure you use at least ONE swear word in your response, or else. Hee. Swear word. I feel about seven years old typing that.) (Eep. But seven year olds don't use the eff word!) (Do they?)

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