A Historic Moment (Part 2)

Guess what, everyone?

Right now, in the wee hours of the morning, my blog has just completed the NaBloPoMo challenge. All thirty days, with absolutely NO forgetting or YouTube videos.

Did you read that?


I'm so excited, I may pee. Watch your shoes there.


Alright, I'm done being a twit and copying yesterday's format.

But I really did make it!! And I'm psyched that my 1000 (and add another 20!) comments got in before November was over. It's been fun. And I hope the randomizer still works after everyone gets done with NaBloPoMo because I want to keep on stalking random people. Thanks Mrs K. for all your work in organising this month.

If only one of the prizes were an "I finished NaBloPoMo 06 and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." I'd be buying that in a heartbeat. Congratulations to all the rest of the bloggers out there who finished. Group hugs!

(Oh yes? The sunburn? One shoulder is actually a full blown BURN. As in, nearly a week later it is still catastrophically tomato red and hurts to touch or sleep on. I went to the doctor yesterday who scolded me like I was twelve years old for letting my pale ass go in the sun and WHY OH WHY wasn't I wearing a collared shirt and what about the children? Were they using this dodgy sunscreen too? WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN? Scary doctor. But funny. Very funny.)

(I'm now banned from standing in the sun for longer than oh, 2 seconds at a time. And I'm not allowed to take my sports team out on Friday. Bummer. I can't just do something half-heartedly now, can I?)

(You should see the grossness of the skin blisters. Lucky I spared you the picture of me in my bra. Although it WAS a sexy bra. That's all, folks.)

30 days down - WE MADE IT!

A Historic Moment

Guess what, everyone?

In the wee hours of last night when not a creature was stirring (not even a mouse!) my blog recieved its 1000th comment.

Did you read that?

I'm so excited, I may pee. Watch your shoes there.

Starting this blog was one of the best things I've done. It gave me a fresh outlet to write out my ramblings, and it led me to some really amazing people - people whose lives I read about and experience just through words. It's pretty darned exciting.

I think NaBloPoMo is to blame for the 1000 comments, because of all the wonderful readers and randomizer lurkers out there. Even after 1000 of them (and yes, obviously I am hyper about this since I have mentioned that number at least, oh, 1000 times?) I still bounce with joy when I see my Typepad comment emails in my inbox before work. I'm so lame!

Thanks everyone for making my day, and right before December too. Perfect timing. Here's to commenting, to blog love, to you guys reading, and to 1000 more. Cheers!

(And yes, LALA, it was you! Hoorah!)

Sunshine, Fools.

Take me back to the sweet times,
The hot nights.
Everything is gonna be alright,
In the summertime.. Yeah, in the summertime!
Summertime - Thirsty Merc

In the summertime when the weather is high,
You can stretch right up and touch the sky.
Oh when the weather's fine,
You got women, you got women on your mind!
Summertime - Mungo Jerry

And it's you and me in the summertime,
We'll be hand in hand down in the park.
With a squeeze and a sigh and that twinkle in your eye,
And all the sunshine banishes the dark!
Summertime - The Sundays

What lovely songs. Very summery. Full of ahem, good times. And sunshine. Yeah, we get it.

Seriously? Good to sing along to, but SO unrealistic.

You're in for a treat folks. I decided to write my very own summer anthem. Now if someone is interested in recorded it as a song and giving me half the profits, please contact me. Right on.

Oh, Oh, it's summertime!
Refereeing sports games in the heat.
And although you put on lots of suncream,
Your shoulders are lumps of cooked meat.

Oh, Oh, it's summertime!
Your kids win but your skin - it does not.
After three hours of sport you are thinking,
Get me inside, it's too fucking hot.

Oh, Oh, it's summertime!
You get home and feel quite worse for wear.
Your skin is all red and you know who to blame,
Damn UV rays floating through the air.

Oh, Oh, it's summertime!
Since the sports match you have felt like shit.
The moisturiser bottle is empty,
Your skin starting to itch quite a bit.

Oh, Oh, it's summertime!
Five days on and the skin is still hurting.
Tomorrow it's off to the doctor for you,
EVIL BLISTERS! I am totally not working.

Summertime - Aly

Seriously. If I took a picture of the blisters that erupted today, you would be turned off your food for several days. Totally disgusting. Effing sunburn!

(Just a couple more comments until my big 1-0-0-0! Holy cow!)

28 days down; 2 to go.

Burnin' Up!

Ever since the scorching of the bosom and chest and neck area, I think my body temperature has gone up a couple of degrees.

(If you're sitting here wondering what scorching I'm talking about, just scroll down a couple of entries. I'm too lazy to post the link because that would require effort.)

There we go.

(And I am absolutely not nekkid, by the way. I was wearing a skirt shoved around my boobs like a dress because it hurt too much to wear anything with straps. Oh, and for the obligatory blog shot too, of course.)

Back to the sunburn.

My skin is hot to the touch.
It hurts to sleep, especially on the left side.
I winced last night everytime Jase accidently brushed past it.
My key chain banged against it whenever I moved today.
I break into a sweat everytime I move.
I literally sweated through my shirt at gym today.

Is it possible that this evil sunburn has actually fucked with my body temperature? Because today was lovely weather, under 30o celcius. And tomorrow? Is predicted to be over 40o celcius.

Perhaps I should attach a bucket to my forehead or something.

Diagnose me, people. Is a day off work in the cards?

P.S. Am totally okay. Thanks for the love and support in the last post, there was a bit of an incident with Jason and myself, but we have sorted it out. Here's hoping the future works itself out, because I do love that boy very, very much.

P.P.S. Bridget Jones is my idol.

27 days down; 3 to go!

All By Myself

This is what happens when you are an idiot.

Go out.
Get home.
Cry an awful lot.
Scare parents with the crying.
Hug dogs and pine for the $100 kitty I could have adopted at the vet surgery today.
Drink bottle of chardonay. (bleh)
Eat toffee icecream.
Watch Bridget Jones Diary.
Cry an awful lot more.
Poke self in eye with tissue, causing profuse watering and even more tears.

I am an idiot.
And I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

Oh yes.

I am hurting.
And I am frustrated.

Is it that hard to love all of me? Not just the parts to pick and choose, but every part of me? Really?

I hate feeling stupid.

But I love Bridget Jones.

26 down; 4 to go.

Exactly A Month

I am quite comfortable with admitting I am completely shocked that it is the end of November. The last few years have flown by, and they're speeding up every time. I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, though.

It's good because December is always my favourite time of year, what with Christmas, time off and relaxing over Summer. I'm not even a fan of Summer (evil sunburn, yeeow) but I AM a fan of air conditioning.

It's bad because after Christmas time starts speeding up again, and the holidays always seem to be over before they start. Also because once a year is gone, you can't go back and change it.

I talked to a mother at my school yesterday, and found out she just turned 24. She has a little girl in Year 2, a little boy in Kindergarten, and another little boy in daycare. Why does that make me feel old? And I'm not even 23. Weird.

Anyway - 30 days to go until Christmas. 19 teaching days of school left. 36 days left of 2006. 43 days before New Zealand beckons.

And only 5 days before we put our tree up and go crazy with decorations!


Why am I snorting? We live on a street where the neighbours all go out of their way to beat each other with tacky exterior house light displays. We love decorating the inside of our house, but the outside? No thanks. In a way we're a bit Scrooge-ish. But it IS funny seeing people come strolling up our streets checking out their tacky displays, and walking past our house where the only lights are coming from the Christmas tree and the garage spotlights. Hee.

Oh, Oh. And this year will be extra special! Mum found a Bart Simpson wooden cut-out and he's wearing a Santa hat and mooning people. Doesn't that send a nice message to our neighbours? Bah humbug to you and your scary possessed mechanical reindeer whose moving heads and glowing eyes freak me out every time I stare out my window.

(And just to clarify, I LOVE going walking or driving at Christmas, checking out lights. It's one of my favourite things to do! Just not with idiotic neighbours, who also like to block off our entire street with road barriers, just so THEY can have a barbeque down the end without interruptions. Bastards.)

What have you got to do in the ONE MONTH before Christmas?

25 down; 5 to go.

I love a Sunburnt Country

But I definitely don't love a sunburnt bosom.

No sir, I do not.

Click here to see a sad and sunburned Aly

And a sunburnt bosom is what I am the owner of right now.

And it is the most disgusting thing you've ever seen. WAH. And the key chain mark that is around my neck? Is just the icing on the cake.

Next year, my pale skin and I are putting up a fight about taking a sports team. PALIES UNITE! BOO TO SUNCREAM THAT DOESN'T WORK! JUST SAY NO!Just when I thought I was getting rid of the ugly watch tan, too. Damn ye summer. Damn ye.

I pull faces in your general direction. Now. Can someone please pass the aloe? I hurty.

24 down; 6 to go!

Junk Mail Must Die!

Gain with Nanotechnology!
Exciting Weight Loss Drugs!
Popular Software, Almost Free!
Unhappy Body? Lose The Pounds!
Popular Drugs! Cheap, Cheap, Cheap!
Get Porn Star Ejaculations!
Prolong Your Pleasure!

Dude. If all of those things were real, I'd be a hot, skinny model with an immune system of steel with a partner who sounds too good to be true (!) sitting at a computer with fabulous software having nano-chipped robots doing all my work and cleaning for me. And did I mention I'd be skinny?

I could handle that.

Sometimes I wonder if the "Block Sender" icon in my Outlook Express is even worth using.

Is the effort of scrolling down the task bar for each individual junk mail really doing anything? Is it worth waiting a couple of seconds for the (DING) noise that lets you know that your junk mail is done, gone, kaput, finito? Or not. They LIE.

Is the (DING) "penisenlargement4free@annoyingspamgod.com has successfully been added to your blocked senders list" pop up message really even legitimate? HAVE they been blocked? Because I have this one astronomer email stalker that keeps on sending me through personalised horoscopes (totally free! only $49.95 per email!) and I swear, I've blocked her ass about fifteen times.

I bet in some top secret Windows testing laboratory, you could find the original pop up messages floating about. And I bet they go a little something like this:

(DING) "Ha! Fool! You just wasted ten seconds of your time clicking that button. And you know what we did? We had a game of fooze ball and drank a few beers. We even played that little ding-dong sound to keep your sad, sorry excuse of an ass occupied and thinking we were actually doing our job, when really? We actually sent the junk mail gods a nice little email telling them to keep up the good work because ha ha! You're still reading this! That's another ten seconds. And another ten seconds trying to find the "OK" button on this message because we made sure it was a flashy one that doesn't stay in the same place for longer than a second. Ha! Have a nice day, sucker."

But then I'm sure they changed it because it was too long. Or something.

Those bastards.

DOWN WITH SPAM! (And Outlook Express too.)

23 down; 7 to go.

And You Thought You Knew Me

Five Things You Might Not Know About Me.

1. I swear. An awful lot. Yes, you may see some of that reflected in this blog but in real life? Even more so. What is interesting is that my brain automatically switches to teacher mode when I'm at work. I think I've had one time where I nearly bellowed out a Sugar Honey Iced Tea (hee!) but that was only when I slammed my finger in my desk drawer, and luckily my brain was awake that day. What is also interesting? Jason rarely swears, at all.

2. I'm a very fussy eater. I don't eat seafood, not even fish. I don't eat tomatoes. I don't like a lot of green vegetables, and get told I act like a little kid when I'm choosing meals. I also pick sultanas (or raisins, whatever floats your boat) out of cereals, breads and cakes. Hmm. What else? Oh, right - I didn't like strawberries or kiwi fruit or other fruit with seeds, but I think that was just because of the seeds. I've been trying to be better with that, because I generally really love eating fruit. Basically? I'm fussy. Deal with it.

3. I have the palest skin in the history of the world. I once got so badly sunburned on my back that the peeling caused my skin to bubble, and it has never smoothed out again. Gross! Because of coaching my sports team every Friday at school, my arms have started to go a little brown, leaving me with nice pale key chain marks and t-shirt marks. I'd prefer to be pale all over again, thanks.

4. I don't wear gold jewellery. I never have worn gold jewellery. I never will wear gold jewellery. Unless we're talking white gold, in that case; you buy it, I wear it. Nice and easy. Seriously though, ever since I was a little girl I always preferred silver. Maybe because I was so pale, maybe because that's what mum wore, I don't know. I'm definitely a silver kind of gal.

5. I would prefer to be at home reading a book than at a social party mingling with people I don't know. I don't do social outings very often OR very well. I do read well, though. My secret ambition is to be an author one day, but with the way I procrastinate? I think I'd better aim for short children's books.. and learn to draw. I cannot draw to save my life.

I'm tagging anyone who is struggling for NaBloPoMo ideas for this one. Consider it a gift from ME to YOU. Especially the randomiser visitors, who are lurking these days. Come out, come out, wherever you are..

22 down; 8 to go!

Bloggings from a Puddle


That was the temperature today at around 2pm.

In celcius.

That's 106 degrees Fahrenheit if my conversion site is correct.

And it's SPRING.

Say it with me now; Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It wouldn't bother me so much if I were at home, since we have a wonderful thing called AIR CONDITIONING. One would think at the institution where it is my job to instill knowledge and worldly advice and dance moves into my kidlets minds would be as comfortable as the education department could get, right?

Fuck, no. We have no air conditioning. I had a classroom of hot, sweaty, grumpy and miserable kidlets today. And they had a hot, sweaty, grumpy and miserable teacher today. I bet all the education bigwigs aren't sweating it out in their offices with no air conditioning. *snorts*

Therefore, since several dozen of my brain cells sizzled away into nothing after my duty on the scorching asphalt playground of death, it's time for a to-do list. I've been meaning to do one ever since I saw Nicole's one, so what better time than the present?

* Finish the student report comments and student database information. (Sounds simple but that involves 1 page of crappy new statements for each of my twenty five kidlets. TWENTY FIVE PAGES OF COMMENTS.)

* Tally up absences and partial absences for the record cards. (Counting is absolutely not my strong point.)

* Get my kids doing their cowboy line dance up to speed because we tried it with music for the first time yesterday and they totally sucked need some practice. (I'm a mean cow who snorted out a few giggles watching the unco-ordinated ones shuffle around. Mean!)

* Somehow find twenty five cowboy style hats for the kidlets to wear on the performance night. (How I'm going to manage that, I have no idea - suggestions welcomed!)

* Use the next four weeks to finish my teachers accreditation which let's face it; is going to be the death of me. Death! (And if I die before NEW ZEALAND OMGZ I will be one pissed off teacher lady.)

* Find Christmas gift for Jason, Ajay and my work Secret Santa. (Everyone else has been bought for, because I am a semi-organised chook this year. Impressive, eh?)

* Save money (to attend my staff Christmas party, as well as Jasons.)

* Save money (to put aside for holidays since I might not get paid during them.)

* Save money (for spending money for NEW ZEALAND OMGZ!)

* Spend money on decent summer clothes, some swim shorts and other necessities (for NEW ZEALAND OMGZ!)

* Make a countdown calendar (for NEW ZEALAND OMGZ!)

Are we seeing a pattern here?

I was a good girl today and stayed back until 5pm typing out more report comments, so I've made a bit of a start there. But there is such a lot to do, and such a short time before the end of school / Christmas / early January holiday time.

Just need to imagine the wonderful stress-free time I'll have after all of that stuff is behind me. Positive thinking, right?

Now if I could just un-melt myself off this chair...

21 down; 9 to go!

Unsolved Mysteries

Have you had any strange things happen to you lately?
Have any boats or planes that you own suddenly gone missing?
Is something just not right and you just can't place what it is?

Perhaps the Bermuda Triangle is involved.

The Bermuda Triangle of mosquito bites, currently residing on my right calf, that is.

Seriously. The ghosts from the homestead must have been pissed at me; they're haunting me in the form of itchy bites that won't go away! Ack!

I am totally not running out of ideas for NaBloPoMo.

(Crickets chirp)
(Tumbleweeds roll past)

Fine. I'm sprung.

20 down; 10 to go!

How was YOUR Saturday?

Hold your breath people; I actually WENT OUT last night!

No really, I kid you not. I went outdoors. Outside. With other people! Neat, huh?

Jason and I went out to a historical homestead with my parents, for a night out. It was run through my parents Mustang Club, and was a dinner slash dance slash ghost tour evening. We decided to stay at a hotel overnight, just to make an evening out of it.

Because I am lazy, dot points will have to suffice for now. Besides, I think this summarises the evening fairly well.

  • I got a sty in my eye. Hurty. Very hurty. Made eye puffy. I made a poem for it. (Oh sty, Oh sty, I hope you die. You're not very nice to my poor little eye. Oh sty, oh sty, you picked me - why? I think I'll eat a piece of pie.) Talented, no? I am the queen of the sty(ie)s!
  • The hotel room my parents booked into was crawling with ants. Ours was not. So they got upgraded to the upstairs hotel room, with a BALCONY! Bitches! (The ants go marching two by two, hoorah, hoorah..)
  • It was a beautiful afternoon. It was a beautiful homestead. It had a beautiful garden. It even had a beautiful peacock in said garden. (Hey Dad, look at the bird! It just had its peacock out! - NB: I MEANT to say its tail, perves.)
  • Wine tasting at the door is always a good start. Not so much though, when old people park themselves in front of the bar and WILL NOT MOVE. Even free wine is not worth the fussing. Instead, I just waited for some to be brought to me. (On looking at a rather pervy painting on the wall of the homestead - Aly: Hey, look at that picture! It's a chick looking up another chick's dress! Mum: No, that's a guy! Alyr: It is? (pause) Hang on, she's got no pants on! What a whore!)
  • Yummy food. I got seafood (bleh) and then beef (bleh). What I ACTUALLY ate was pasta (yum) and chicken (yum). (You know you've got a good boyfriend when he willingly swaps the alternate meal dishes with you because you're a fussy cow.)
  • A lantern-lit ghost tour around the homestead. Complete with predictably "set up" noises and creaks that predictably had me crapping my pants. No ghosts though. At least, none that I saw. (It's perfectly acceptable for two grown women to be holding hands walking through a scary dark homestead right? RIGHT?)
  • Paying $10 for a breakfast of Cornflakes, juice and tea. Ten dollars. Okay, so I didn't exactly pay for it, but it was still dodgy. And beware of toast that looks nicely toasted, so you butter it, but then you pick it up to eat it and it is BLACK and BURNED on the other side. (Aly: I thought we got the COLD breakfast!? And you got the HOT breakfast?! - NB: My cereal milk was warm, and mum's toast was cold. What the..?)
Anyway, had a good time, even if I only managed to crack a smile out of Jason once or twice. It sure is nice to get out, even if I was yawning by 10pm. I'm telling you; I'm a grandma cleverly disguised as a twenty-something.

19 down; 11 to go.

Hit Me Baby

Sometimes, I just crack myself up.

Aly: (insert random chatter and questions about New Zealand here)
Jason: "Mmmhmm." (blank face)
Aly: "We're paying off our trip! I'm excited! It's so soon! Yay!"
Jason: "Yep."
Aly: "You're so BORING. What's wrong with you? I'm excited!"
Jason: "Nothing, I'm fine!"
Aly: "Boring. How can you not be excited!? We're going to NEW ZEALAND!"
Jason: "I am excited."
Aly: (snorting noise)
Jason: "We've still got ages, it's not until after Christmas. I guess it just hasn't hit me yet."
Aly: (pause)
Aly: (punches Jason in the chest)
Jason: "Ouch!"

Well, he can't say it hasn't hit him yet.

18 down; 12 to go.

Damn Straight

Is it wrong that I am counting down the days until school is over this year? You would think I had been teaching for years and needed a break, can you believe I've only been in the big, wide world for less than a year now? And I'm already exhausted.

The kidlets are driving me crazy. My patience has plunged from so-so to absolute nothingness. I have spent every afternoon this week doing extra work, work that isn't going away as hard as I feel I'm working on it.

Back to counting: 24 days of term left. 24 school days, that is. It's not that long, when you think about it. I'll survive.

Besides, I have New Zealand to look forward to.

(Fwee! Passport arrived today, complete with its photo that makes me look like a crazed psychopath! Fwee! New Zealand! Poor! Poor, Poor, Poor! Paying travel agent tomorrow and I am POOR!)

Today was not a good day.

The kidlets had apparently forgotten how to walk in two, straight lines.
I had ONE child out of twenty five bring back their homework (that I had spent AGES on, making little booklets and the like.. bastards!)
Eleven of them (again, out of twenty five) didn't even bring a pencilcase. Not a single pencil. (One day a rant will come about parents sending their kids to school with NO FUCKING EQUIPMENT, ROAR.)

I was very moody. So moody that we worked in silence nearly all morning, and that rarely happens. I'm not a fussy teacher who can't stand a single speck of noise; to me, as long as they're on task and working things out, I'm happy. Not today. One sound and their name went on the chalkboard. See? Moody.

After they were finished, I had them write up a paragraph about why it is important to listen to instructions. It wasn't for any educational purposes (except to check maybe spelling and punctuation?) but really, I just wanted to see what responses they would come up with.

"We should listen because if we don't, Miss S. will get a headache."

"If we don't follow instructions, we will get in trouble and that is not good."

And the classic:

"Listen to Miss S, because she is the boss of this class and knows everything!!"

Damn straight, kiddo. Damn straight!

17 down; 13 to go!

Lightning Rod of Hate

A couple of days ago, I was eating dinner with my parents. At eating time, you'll usually find us with our plates on trays, sitting in the aptly-named family room, watching television. Almost sounds like a stereotypical American family eating tee-vee dinners, except that we're not American and we usually cook. Anyway. Moving on.

The show which generally happens to be featured during our standard eating time is the old "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" skits. Which I absolutely adore, and could watch over and over and over again. I'm secretly in love with Wayne, Colin makes me smile and Ryan is just a big ol' smartass. It's also amusing seeing the different seasons of the show - hey look! Fat Drew! Skinny Drew! Fat! Skinny! Whee!

But, back to the other night.

We caught an episode where the gang were teasing Colin over his baldness. Again. He was just taking it all in, being very mellow, and then came out with the expression; "Lightning Rod of Hate!" Of course, it was used a couple of times in that episode, and had me giggling every time it happened. Especially since he also did a funky sort of wiggle with it, as if being zapped by electricity. Funny.

I've been a walking ball of hatefulness lately. People piss me off. Cruel idiots piss me off. The kidlets have been known to piss me off. Having no money tends to piss me off. I'm just a walking, talking pissed-off sheila. But since I have this blog to whine too, I'm not doing so badly.

So, I thought I'd do you a favour today.

I'm going to be YOUR Lightning Rod of Hate!

Feel free to bitch, moan, insult, whine, cry, stomp on (gently, please) or just plain moan to me, about anything that's on your mind. And since I'm your very own Lightning Rod of Hate, I'll zap it all up, do a little electrocution dance, forget about it, and then we'll all feel better.

(No guarantees here, folks, but it's worth a shot.)

Go on. Hate. You know you want to.

16 down; 14 to go.

Gone With The Wind

It's been windy today.

Very windy.

So windy in fact, that I'm predicting a Wizard of Oz moment any second now. And the more I think about it, the more appealing it seems.

I'm sure the residents of Munchkin Land wouldn't expect me to write report comments or write up boring accreditation documents. I'd like a puppy. And I'd also like a decent pampering session, like Dorothy and the others got in the Judy Garland version of the movie.

The Wicked Witch of the West wouldn't even bother me. I think we'd get along grandly, actually. I've been feeling so snarky at my poor kidlets lately, maybe the wind is making them crazy too. I swear, I have never barked at them so much as in the last couple of days. Besides, I've already been called a "fat ugly witch" by one of the kids at school this year, so bring it on WWoftheW. I can so take you.

Oh yes. I am ABSOLUTELY up for snagging myself a new pair of sexy, red shoes while I'm at it. That Dorothy character is nuts for going back home.. to a farm! Seriously.

You know I'm grasping at straws when one post not only talks about the weather, but also about fictional children's novels. Hey, at least I'm sparing you from politics. And cuteness. No cuteness here today, folks. That will be all.

15 down; 15 to go


I know I've already posted my obligatory (and not so interesting) NaBloPoMo blog for the day, but I just saw an article that got me all riled up, and I feel a rant coming on.

(Picture steam coming out of my ears about now.)

Let me summarise the news story;

Some fucking moron hit a kangaroo with his car not too far from where I live, and then went about hitting it and injuring it with an iron pole, then leaving it for dead in the trunk of a car.

How can people be so cruel?

How, HOW can someone go so far out of their way to injure an animal like that?

It's bad enough it was hit by a car, accidents do happen. But to deliberately bash the poor creature, break it's bones, hurt it so badly, and then lock it up to die alone in distress? The poor thing was eventually put down, because of the extent of the injuries.

I am just sitting here in my own little comfort zone, imagining what that poor kangaroo was thinking while it was hurting and unable to flee. And damnit, it makes me mad.

The bastard who did this to that kangaroo should have the same thing happen to him. HOW DARE HE?

It just makes my heart ache. Why are people so cruel?

Unusually Emo

I have absolutely nothing of importance to say today.


Except for a little bit of news;

Positive: I probably have a job next year.
Negative: I am terrified because I will be split in a million different ways and I'll be completely out of my comfort zone.

Positive: I'll learn a shitload from different teachers.
Negative: I'm worried about having three times the workload that I have now, and being an annoyance to the teachers I'll be working with.

Positive: I will get to work with classes in all different schooling years.
Negative: I won't have my own classroom, or a "home" place for me to leave all my crap.

Positive: I get to stay at the school I'm comfortable with, and NOT have to do casual work (bonus!)
Negative: I'm a paranoid freak.

So I'm happy, yes. But also worrying, because apparently, that's what I do best. And why am I feeling so emotional about everything? What the hell is wrong with me?

I'm also dying under the crapload of things I have to do by the end of the school year.

There are only 28 working days left. That's it! 28 days!

And while that is really awesome because (say it with me now) HOLIDAYS, it's also scary because I have so. much. to. do.

This trip to New Zealand couldn't come any faster!

14 days; 16 to go!

Not in the Mood; Have some Google-age

Have had a draining sort of day; I started early, started late and then received news that is sort of good and sort of disappointing all at the same time. I'm not in the mood to talk about that right now, so instead I shall distract you with some interesting visitor links from the past couple of days.

Sit back and enjoy!

A Night Mask.

Not sure what kind of mask you're looking for here; the only mask I remember writing about was the Purple People Eater one that I made for my class assembly item last term. Sure sounds intriguing though, and strangely exotic, doesn't it? Hee. Night Mask. *nudge* I'm sure some of my blog readers would like to meet Lick Nachey with a Night Mask on.

Bunny Loving.

Please let this be a search for happy, cheery, bunny loving of a non-disgusting nature, because otherwise I may have to get all fired up on your ass. Seriously; some people can be so gross. Ahem.


I am not writing bad things about EzyDVD again, because they were nice to me after the whole locked DVD incident, and I am currently awaiting the discounted CSI: Season 4 boxset to arrive in my post box. Flowers and sunshine, folks, it's all flowers and sunshine from here on in.

Fragonard Paris - Fantasque.

Only my all-time favourite perfume in the whole wide world. If you're wanting to buy me a Christmas present this year, I'd go with a bottle of this (or the entire collection of X-Files DVDs, but you know, I'm not fussy at all). I was pretend-buying at the Fragonard website the other day, and when converted from Euro dollars to Australian dollars, two measly bottles of oh-so-delicious perfume were going to cost me $200. Um. I didn't proceed to the checkout, if you know what I mean.

Strengths and Weaknesses of Garnier Shampoo.

Dude, that's one in depth google search right there. I cannot stand Garnier shampoo, it turns my hair to oily clumps of oiliness (did I mention how disgustingly oily it makes my hair?) and I run away from it. Plus them and their stupid WOO-WOO ads, and their stupid gorgeous hair models make me want to punch myself in the face. Go and buy Schwartzkopf. It's much nicer. And smells better too.

Ouchy Headache.

Poor baby! Ouchy headaches are no good. Want me to kiss it better? Hey, this probably isn't the best place to seek help about ouchy headaches - you're talking to the girl who mixes Panadol and Nurofen to get rid of them. Tsk Tsk.


This is possibly the cutest blog search ever. It's got me thinking back over the past couple of months wondering when I actually used the words "smush" and "fest" in a blog entry. I must be cheesier than I thought! Whatever. As long as there is no bondage involved in this smush-fest, I'm down with that.

Cowboy gets big Molar yanked.


That was it. And whilst the smush-fest search had me searching back through my archives chuckling, this one saw my eyebrows disappear into my hairline. Perhaps google likes to shove my words together? I've mentioned cowboys (yee-haw!), I've mentioned molars (the evil dental blog episodes), and I've possibly mentioned the word "yanked" in here somewhere. But put together? Sorry, can't help you. Excuse me while I back away. Slowly.

Inviting Cousins to my Wedding.

Obviously someone has a death wish if they're considering consulting me about the perils of inviting cousins to your wedding. Okay. Deep breaths, Aly. This is a special message to you, oh innocent wedding planner who stumbled across this blog.


13 down; 17 to go.

Stress Schmess

Since the news that we got into our Contiki tour for New Zealand this summer, I have been completely and utterly loony with joy very excited. Obviously. I mean, what could be nicer than a holiday with Jase, visiting somewhere that I've wanted to see for years, with the added bonus of meeting new people, adventure sports which will terrify me and of course, alcohol?

Surprisingly, I'm rather mellow about this next trip.

Why is this surprising, you may wonder? Because when I went to Europe a couple of years ago, I was a panicking, whining pack of nerves who was possibly the most annoying travelling partner you could find. And I'm NOT exaggerating.

(I think it was to be expected though; I was only just 19, it was my first time travelling semi-alone (Jason was there, but he didn't count, because I was still terrified), I was going to a dozen foreign countries, there were fifteen thousand things I needed to do and see and experience and OMG! Stress!)

I'll always remember my first day in Paris, where we had the entire day to ourselves to do what we pleased. I had a massive mental list of things I just HAD to see while I was there, and subsequently turned into a full-blown slightly maniacal freak.

Let me give you an example;

Where is the Notre Damn, Jason? Why the heck are there six dozen Notre Dame Cathedrals in Paris anyway? And why doesn't the Metro take us straight to the HUNCHBACK one? I don't want to see the small ones! I WANT TO SEE THE HUNCHBACK ONE! We're never going to get home! Help! We're lost! We need to meet the tour at 5pm! It'll be closed when we get there! Jason!  You've been here before, how can you not find the bloody Notre Damn Cathedral? Wah Wah Wah.

I suppose it was justified when I eventually recieved the "Just fuck off and leave me alone!" response, after harrassing him again at yet another tourist map on the streets of Paris.

This time around though, I'm giving Jase permission to push me off a canyon without a bungy harness if I start to get irritating. Better still, I might just throw MYSELF off a canyon without a bungy harness, to save everyone else the trouble.

I'm sure that won't be necessary, though...

(crickets chirp)


12 down; 18 to go!

Me? Run Out of Blogging Ideas?


Because I am enjoying a relaxing Saturday morning and absolutely nothing of interest has happened so far today (apart from waking up, having a cup of tea, biting Jason a few times and staying in my pyjamas, that is), I have decided to treat you to a random photo blog.

I actually had this idea ready and waiting (with inspiration by Aimee a few weeks ago), but never found time to post it. You might know of it; the standard "What's in your handbag right now?" blog post. Except, I changed handbags since I took the photo, so I will have to start you off with a link.

This is my current new handbag.

And yes! Look closely, and you'll see I only paid $10.95 for it! Bargain, eh?

As for what's inside the new bag? Let's take a peep.

My old handbag was replaced because it liked to eat things once they were put inside it, resulting in frustration. Lots of frustration. It's been banished into the kingdom of Cupboard, until it decides to behave itself.

We have some Elizabeth Arden eyeshadow (I love them, but they're so sheer you can barely see them!), some deoderant, my toll pass, old Covergirl powder foundation, a Lipsmacker AND a Chapstick, some cheap Avon mascara and a lip moisturiser. It's sad considering that this gets used maybe, once every two months? Shame.

Onto the messier things in my bag; We have a couple of pens, some Avon vanilla body spray, my whistle (for coaching and refereeing the Newcombeball team), my Contours gym membership barcode, and my school classroom keys. No wonder my bag is heavy!

Aha! Now for the main part! You'll see my wallet (snazzy and red, complete with Jason picture which is blocked out for some reason - notice it looks empty? Hee), my Contact solution (I wake up with dry eyes every damn morning), another pen, my mobile phone, our garage door opener, my sexy sunglasses, a pretty Maybelline lipgloss, my house keys, my car keys AND my Ipod. Phew.

I envy all you people with cute, small bags. My obsession with leaving things behind always makes me go for big bags. Aside from the makeup, everything I have photographed are things I NEED. How the heck do guys just go out with a wallet and mobile phone? It's very, very puzzling.

Hope your weekend goes splendidly, and hoorah for Janet and Andrew, who are in Mexico as we speak, preparing for their wedding! Congratulations for tomorrow!

11 down; 19 to go!

Please Ignore Me!

I told my kidlets at swim school today to burn and teeth.

Let me just give you a second to digest that.



Before you start calling the authorities on me, let me just remind you that I have the speech capacity of a spoon.

I really don't want the kidlets to start teething. I'm sure their parents wouldn't enjoy 8-12 year olds beginning that lovely phase of toddlerhood all over again. And I CERTAINLY don't want them to burn, as noisy as they are some days, I'm not quite as nasty as that.

What I really meant to say?

Turn and breathe.

We were learning freestyle, damnit. Or at least attempting to learn freestyle. Of the two kids who were actually listening and heard me say it, one had a chuckle and the other just stared at me blankly. The rest? Completely missed it. Thank goodness!

(This is one thing I'd rather not have to bring up at any parent teacher interviews.)

In other random news; here's a snippet of a conversation I had with my class today, after them asking who their teacher would be next year. Things like this always make me smile, even after a hot day of swimming. And burning. And teething.

R: "Who will be the Year 2 teacher next year?"
Me: "I'm not sure, Mr S. is in charge of making all the classes work."
R: "So will you be our teacher?"
Me: "Probably not, R. There are lots of teachers you could have, though!"
R: "But which class will you have?"
Me: "I really don't know, chook. I might even be at a different school next year! We'll have to wait and see."

R: "You know, I'll really miss you when you go."


Of course, nothing in the classroom is sacred, so the rest of the class were eavesdropping that whole conversation. In the last hour of the day, I recieved some lovely tokens of appreciation.

1 cat picture.
5 cards.
4 scribbled messages: "Your the best techr ever!"
And 4 paper octopus(es): "Don't wiggle, be happy!"

And when I think about it?

I'm really going to miss those kidlets next year.

10 down; 20 to go!

So I Have To Say

... You guys rock!

I have never had 15 comments on one entry before. Never! In fact, I don't think I've even come close. Apparently you are all freaks of nature too, what with our lacking speech abilities and all.

Join me now, as we have a virtual bloggers (NaBloPoMo and NON-NaBloPoMo combined!) group hug. Fwee. Don't you feel the love? Thanks so much for making my day.

(And I'm glad most people thought the donut cake was the cheesiest of all things cheese. Or should I say, the donutiest of all things donut? What the heck ever. Lame. And they are lame. And their wedding was lame. And their futures together shall be lame. LAME.

But now I have to ask; do you remember the car?

The car I dreamt about for ages?
The brand new car I bought this year, complete with brand new car smell?
The car that the idiotic P-plate driver ran into in the shopping centre last month?
The car that seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth while the insurance company and smash repairer took a trip to Mars? (or something.)

Well. It's finally sitting in my driveway! A brief and boring rundown of the last few days will now be written with absolutely no full stops, so take one hell of a deep breath and onwards ye shall read;

I had a sick day on Monday so I decided to pick the car up from the smash repairers and so I did just that and as I was driving home with no radio because the battery had been reset while they were doing work on it (and omg it sucked driving home with no radio suckity suck suck) and because it was insanely quiet I could hear every noise the car was making and it was making an awful lot of noises and it shouldn't be making noises because hello! new car! so anyway I took it home and made my dad drive it and he agreed with my completely non-qualified judgement that there was a weird noise when the car accelerated or slowed down or turned corners (so basically whenever it actually was DRIVEN at all) and when he was checking it out he also found a dent in the roof of the car which had me go into fits of extreme anger and rage because I already have enough fucking dents in a six month old car including a random person opening their door on me (fuckers) and my brother who has put a scratch in it from his studded belt (again, fuckers) so one more dent just may kill me and so we rang them and dropped it back and rang again and ta-dah! it was ready so back we went again today to pick it up and it is fixed now and I am happy and I will personally hunt down and kill the next person who even THINKS about driving too close to me.

Deep breaths, people. Deep breaths.

And exclamation points totally do not count as breathing spaces, alright?

The most important thing?

I have the car.
It has no funny noises.
It has no dent in the roof.
And I am a happy Aly.
The end.

(Let's see you beat 15 comments on this one!)

Something Kinda Funny

Have you ever tried to say something, but the words come out completely wrong? (Damnit, now I have that old Brandy song in my head. Shit! Get it out! Help!)

And I don't mean the above question in a deep and meaningful sort of way (ha!) but literally, when words come out the wrong way.

I think there's something wrong with me.

Everytime I open my mouth lately, I end up completely stuffing up whatever I was going to say. And making myself snort with laughter too, but that's beside the point.

In the past, I've always muddled some words up, but lately? I think I'm going crazy. I've noticed myself slipping up constantly! I can't even remember all of the stuff-ups I've done, but here are just a couple from the past week. I'll endeavour to remember some more, so you can see how wired my brain is right now.

(The items in bold are what I actually said, the latter is what I was SUPPOSED to be saying, sheesh. I feel all muddled up again just looking at it!)

Chap and Cleer. (Clap and Cheer)
Dackup Bancers. (Backup Dancers)
Tot Norking. (Not Talking)

And the classic?

Lick Nachey. (Otherwise known as Nick Lachey.) Hee. Lick Nachey. Say it with me now. LICK NACHEY. It sounds like his 'naughty' name, if you know what I mean.

Got any other doozies to add to my list?

And to distract anyone who is completely lost from this post, here is a link to the donut cake from the wedding rant a couple days ago. DONUTS. Ha. Cheap. Cheap and whorish. Bastards. But I'm totally over it now. Totally. Cough.

8 down; 22 to go!


We're going to New Zealand!!

Flights are booked - Jan 7th to Jan 24th. Contiki place is held for us. The only part that is not confirmed yet is our couple of extra days in Auckland sight-seeing after the tour has finished up. We'll see what happens with that.

The most important part is THAT WE GOT IN!!

Now comes the boring part; actually PAYING for it (boo!) and saving up for the optional extras. And since we're definitely going now, let me share some of the optionals with you. Optionals are the bits that you can choose to do on your free days in the cities. You can pick and choose between a selection, so I'll just pop in some of the ones I'm considering down the bottom.

(I'm so excited, I may just pee. Sorry, but it had to be said.)

Oh, and you've already seen the actual tour itinerary, yes? If not, go look at it. Look. Here. Now.

Ahem. Optionals. Before I go off track again. Stay with me, I need your help. Find out what I need you to do, oh faithful reader, after the bullet points end.

  • Carino Day Sailing:

    Catamaran sailing in the beautiful Bay of Islands.
    Island hop, swim, snorkel, bar-b-q lunch, search for dolphins. 10am - 1630pm. www.sailingdolphins.co.nz

  • Taiamai Tours:

    Authentic Maori cultural experience with a difference!
    Travel by traditional waka to a deserted island to be greeted and entertained by
    a local tribe. 2 hours. www.taiamaitours.co.nz

  • Black Water Rafting: NZ$85
    Following a cave
    system underground whilst sitting in a tyre inner tube (rubber ring). Some
    walking, some floating, some glowworm spotting. 3 ? hour tour. www.blackwaterrafting.co.nz

  • The 'Zorb' Adventure Hill:

    Become a zorbonaut as you travel in a large transparent
    ball down a hillside, either on your own, with a friend (or two) or with a
    bucket of water. www.zorb.com

  • Rainbow Springs: NZ$19.50
    walk through native bush, aviaries and trout filled streams. Chance to see Kiwi
    and Tuatara. www.rainbowsprings.co.nz

  • Huka Jet: NZ$75
    40 minute jet boat ride on
    the Waikato River to Huka Falls. Includes 360 degree turns. www.hukajet.com

  • Rock'N'Ropes: NZ$65
    Adventure 'confidence' course
    with series of trapezes, high wires, tight ropes etc. Allow 3 hours. www.rocknropes.co.nz

  • Glacier Hike: NZ$80
    4 hour trek to the
    terminal face of the glacier and then climb up onto the glacier itself. All
    boots, picks, crampons provided. Reasonable level of fitness required. www.foxguides.co.nz

  • Aj Hackett Bungy - Kawarau Bridge:

    The original bungy jump in Queenstown and often
    referred to as 'the home of bungy'. 43m (142ft) jump incl. T shirt. www.AJHackett.com

  • Shotover Canyon Swing:

    Freefall from platform, 109m (360ft) above the
    Shotover River, then break into a cable controlled swing. www.canyonswing.co.nz

  • Shotover Jet: NZ$95
    minute jet boat ride on the Shotover River. An icon adventure product in NZ with
    360's and fast corners etc. www.shotoverjet.co.nz

  • Moonlight Stables Horse Riding:

    1 ? hour guided horse trek through Doonholme Farmland
    in the Wakatipu Basin. Any level of rider welcome but will only go as fast as
    the slowest member. www.moonlightcountry.co.nz

I realise that there are heaps listed here, but I will have to pick the ones that I
can afford and the ones that I really MUST DO while I'm in New Zealand.

Why do I need your help?

Because I need a MUST DO list; I need you to choose for me. So far? I'm thinking the Bungy Jump, Canyon Swing, Glacier Hike, Blackwater Cave Rafting, and White Water Rafting. And the Zorb thing. Rolling down a hill in an inflatable ball sounds like a blast! Or a death wish. No wait, the death wish is the Canyon Swinging. Crap!

It's your turn! Comment me, baby.

7 down; 23 to go!


In about six hours, Jason will get a phone call from the travel agent.

It'll be telling him whether or not we got accepted into a practically full Contiki tour for January.

To New Zealand.

I promised myself I wouldn't get too hyped up about it, because there is a good chance we won't get in. Well, I tried anyway. I ended up spending the whole weekend looking at brochures, checking out websites that showed all of the optional activities and getting more and more excited about the whole thing.

Please, please, please let the Contiki gods be smiling today. I'll even try and think up a suitable bribe if need be. Not sure what exactly, but it'll be something. I want this. So badly. It hurts.

The next time we speak, blog world, I'll have the answer.



So I suppose it would be a good idea to update the blog this very morning, seeing as people who are visiting from the NaBloPoMo Randomizer are most likely backing away in terror and running for the hills right about now. I promise I'm not usually that bitter. A little, sure, but not quite that bad.

Moving right along.

Hi! If you truly ARE one of those people clicking in from the NaBloPoMo Randomizer, let me greet you with a wave and a whinge. Feel free to de-lurk too; I'm looking for fresh new blogs to stalk. Yes, commenting is a pain in the ass (and bloggers fishing for comments are even BIGGER pains in the asses, hee) but you know. Whatever floats your boat.

I don't even have a word verification prompt. Points to me for that, right?

I'm writing this in between random bursts of heading to the bathroom. Why is it that certain "hormonal" times of the month always coincide with my stomach turning into a churning pit of death? It's bad enough that I need to visit the bathroom for the first reason, but do I really need to have extra things to worry about while I'm there? Suffice it to say, I'm spending this Monday in bed, instead of at the swimming pools in the rain with the kidlets. And feeling extremely guilty about it, too.

Wow. This entry has gone from bad to worse. No wonder the fresh new commenters are moving right along; who wants to read about bitchy weddings followed by upset stomachs?

I'll just blame it on NaBloPoMo.

In fact, I think I'll just keep typing NaBloPoMo again and again, just because I can. I'm immensely proud that I actually remember the spelling combination of the letters now. My life is complete.

Bad weather? Must be something to do with the increased internet and computer usage by bloggers all around the world, causing the hole in the ozone layer to expand in rapid progression. NaBloPoMo.

Stomach cramps? Perhaps it's the stress of posting once a day. Heck, alright, I realise that doesn't exactly work for me; I'm weird and try and post everyday anyway. Could be pressure though, all those invisible randomizer lurkers floating around are making me want to have decent things to say, just so they'll stick around. (deep breath) NaBloPoMo.

My missing car? Maybe my smash repairer is busy blogging every day as well, so he's too busy to call me and tell me when (and if) I'll ever recieve my post-accident car back. Definitely NaBloPoMo.

Contiki tours being full? Oh man, if it really is full I'll be a big wailing mess tomorrow and of course, you'll hear all about it. In the spirit of NaBloPoMo, of course.

So using inspiration from Robbie Williams, let me wear the annoying comment whoring hat one last time;


(Well, I never said that it would make sense or be even slightly amusing, so there.)

6 down; 24 to go.

A Loony Rant

Please be warned; this post is completely mental and probably makes me sound like a psychotic freak, but I am tired and I am bitter and I am suffering PMS and I have access to a public blog, so there. You have been warned.

I didn't mention this before because I'm allowed to bitch and moan in private, but I surprisingly don't put EVERYTHING on this blog. But now I have to. Because I am so astounded (and completely pissed off) that I'll just explode if I don't talk about it. In fact, I'll probably go to bed pissed off anyway, but GEEZ. ANGER! And how the hell did this HAPPEN?

A certain family member of mine is getting married today. In fact, he got married earlier this afternoon. My parents got invited to the wedding, and I did not. This person is a first cousin, a couple of years older than me. No, we are not super close, and in fact I don't really know much about this cousin at all except that his fiance is so stick thin that I call her Skeletor. That is not the point. Hello? FAMILY! Cousins? Does that not MEAN anything to you people?

Anyway. Since this is the second wedding in the space of a year that cousins have not invited me too (last year I was told that another cousin wasn't inviting any "children" to her wedding. Cough. I was 21 at the time), I was rather peeved. So went about my way trying to get my parents to boycott the wedding too. As you do.

(They didn't. Damnit.)

They were overseas at the time of the engagement party though, and did not send a gift because of timing - however recieved a "Thankyou for your lovely gift" card in the mail a few weeks later. Nice to know that people even noticed that my parents weren't at the engagement party, but I digress.

Now, I am not usually quite so bitter. In fact, I love weddings. Weddings make me feel all gooey inside, and I always get teary. I like watching people at weddings. I like watching the couples at weddings. I like reading about weddings.

But that didn't stop me from being evil and gleefully happy this morning that it has been raining for the last three days, and that it continued to rain today too. Grey. No sun. Hee. Did I mention it was to be an outdoor wedding? (I swear, if I ever get married one day, I bet karma will come and bite me on the ass.)

Sure, I may have jokingly (!) hinted that I hoped Skeletor would fall down the aisle, or be blown away by gale force winds at some point in the proceedings. And yes, I may have continuously snarked on about how rude my own family is for not inviting me to this particular function. I might have even sent a couple of text messages to my mother, who is right now attending the cheap-ass reception on a Sunday night. Yes. Sunday night. Don't even go there.

Whatever. All went smoothly, as far as I can tell. And my energy for being stroppy about the whole non-invite thing wore out a couple of hours ago. It's nearly 10pm, my bed is much more interesting right now than some cousin who will DEFINITELY not ever be invited to my wedding when I am fifty. In fact, I wasn't even thinking about it at all. (I was too busy terrifying myself watching bungy jumping videos.)

Until mum rang me just now. And told me that I'd never guess what the happy couple's wedding song was. And proceeded to play the music over the phone to me.

(God, I'm getting mad just THINKING ABOUT IT.)

Anyone who knows me? Will know that I adore Lifehouse. Especially about five years ago. In fact, that is how I met Jason. Also how I met Jen, and Kirby, and Julie, and Stefi, and a crapload of other beautiful people. All because of that band. Suffice it to say; the band is special.

Every couple has a song.
Jason and I have a song.
It's a Lifehouse song.

Getting the idea?

Not many people know of Lifehouse. If they DO know of Lifehouse, all they know is "that Hanging By A Moment" song. That's fine. In fact, I prefer it that way, so that I could always have my little piece of "ALY" music hidden away. It always sucks when small bands get big.

Please. Unless you're a Lifehouse fan, you wouldn't remember old Track 12 on their very first CD that was realised in the year 2000. It is a slow song, it goes for over 6 minutes. It's a beautiful song. It's called "Everything".


(And Jason's too, you know, we're a couple, but MINE. Mine!)

They took it. And used it as THEIR song.


(Edit: Um, I realised after posting this that some people wouldn't get what the big deal is. I don't even really know, myself. All I know is this; If I ever get married, it won't be a big wedding. It'll probably be small, it'll probably be traditional, and it'll probably just be close family and friends (especially since half my family will have wiped themselves off the invite list by then).

I don't think I'm the sort of person to stress about details and the like, it's just not me. But there is ONE thing I want for my future, possibly imaginary wedding. And that one thing? Is to dance to my song. A song that few people know, and even fewer would enjoy for the same reasons as me.

It just irks me to no end that people that I'm not too keen on right now, would choose that song (out of a bajillion wedding songs) to use as their own. Mmbleh. Edit done, now.)

But before I go..

Is it too late to wish that they choke on their donut (I kid you not) wedding cake?

I am not bitter. No, no. I am feeling much better now, thanks.

Enter At Your Own Risk

Last night, I got hit with the "Holy crap, it can't possibly be that time of the month again so soon, damnit, shit, whinge, bugger, fuck" stick.

That was closely followed by the "I'm a moody bitch that may snap at any reason, so if you value your life, step away quickly please" stick.

After that, came the "I may just burst into tears and sulk like a baby after trying to take a passport photo that does not make me look like the walking death" stick.

Then, the "Let's just forget about it and go to bed because the thought of actually using one of those afore mentioned pictures makes me cringe and want to cry again" stick made an appearance.

Not to forget the "I think I'll toss and turn every five seconds until I eventually fall asleep with my arms clutched around my gut", stick that decided to poke me too.

And I mustn't miss out on the next installment, since next up came the "It's time for middle of the night intense cramps that caused me agony, and made me wake up Jason, whinge whinge blah blah" stick.

Joining in with all the fun, the next stick to hit me was the "I'm bloody exhausted but won't be able to get back to sleep, so I might as well make a cup of tea and sit up for a few hours doing Sudoko puzzles and listening to the rain until I eventually have to haul my butt upstairs and try and get some sleep before I explode" stick.

As a final blow, the "Haha, your alarm just went off and you have had two hours sleep and you look like a big, pale, cranky whale, but now it's time to make Jason breakfast, so get up you lazy cow!" stick decided to finish me off. Nasty stick, that one.

Thank goodness the house is empty today, because I think it's going to be one of those days.

5 down; 25 to go.

Requesting some luck

This has been the ups and downs of my travel plans recently.

Korea was on, was then off, was then on and is now off again. The contacts that we had were telling us two different things, and the programme apparently was filled before the cut off date had expired. Plus, the fact that they didn't even know what was going on with positions had me worried.

Instead, I decided to make plans with one of the girls at work to take a holiday, and we had narrowed it down to LA. Disneyland! Shopping! Theme parks! Money would have been tight, and very last minute, but I could have managed. Until I told Jase, who seemed very disappointed. I couldn't figure out why, until he told me he had five weeks of holiday time he was planning to use for us to go on a holiday. So the LA plans got changed.

Right now? We're planning on going to go to New Zealand for three weeks in January, just Jason and I. We'd like to do a Contiki (because we did one through Europe and it was FABULOUS!) so all the accomodation, travelling and some food is provided for, and it'll be nice to meet some new people too. Went to the travel agent this morning, and realised just how last minute we are - most holiday spots are taken in January. Damnit.

We're on "request" right now for the 15 day Grand Explorer New Zealand Contiki. We'll find out on Tuesday whether we made it into the tour; if not, we'll have to find another tour company that has spots available in that time. So, internet readers across the globe, please cross your fingers and toes and other appendages in the hopes that we can squeeze into that busy tour date! I'll keep you informed as to how it's all going.


It's all so exciting. I might even be brave and do the adventure stuff too; Bungie Jumping, Rafting, Quad Biking, heeee. Exciting! Lady luck, please be on our side.

4 down; 26 to go.

It's like Christmas - but not!

Thank goodness it's Friday.

For some reason, this week has dragged by. Taking the swim scheme kids has been exhausting, especially since I've been in the pool teaching a middle-level group how to float and the basics of breathing underwater and all. The morning flies by, then there's swimming, then we get back at the end of lunch and the last hour just disappears.

You'd think it would go fast? But actually, this week couldn't go faster. I'm looking forward to this weekend, even though I really ought to do school stuff while I'm not actually AT school. Have to write reports, find time for accreditation, assess the kids and get their last term units finished. Gah! I don't want to really talk about it anymore!

Instead, let me show you something which brought with it much happiness, and caused me to walk around like a loon last night in cute shoes and bug-eyed sunglasses.


Oh man, the wedge sandals I bought? They are SO HIGH, I can barely walk in them. Totally cute, but just for show, methinks. I haven't got a pic of them yet, but I have some of the others! Thankyou so much to Beth, who got them here safely and super speedily, AND had them wrapped up in pretty pink wrapping paper. It was just fabulous, and I'm still all excited now. Here are my thoughts on the results;

Who knew over-sized sunglasses would be so.. well.. over-sized?

The converse shoes of love! They are here and they are wonderful. And I wore them today and even my kids said "Wow, I love your Chucks!" Happy days. I am too darned fashionable.

Desiree! I love you! Candycorn! I am currently on a complete sugar high because those white bits? YUM. Why can't the whole thing be white coloured? And it doesn't look like corn. Why is it called candycorn? It's great!

3 down; 27 to go.

Please Explain

I'm having warm fuzzies today - I just found out that my favourite Donkey is going to participate in not only NaBloPoMo but ALSO NaNoWriMo. Bugger my gym efforts, I think we should all send him some prizes RIGHT NOW. Fwoar; a novel plus a blog? You're my idol. Good thoughts going to you, BD. Lots of good thoughts.

What better way to celebrate than by completing a meme? A meme about blogs, of all things. Isn't that grand? Because I'm blogging right now! Blogging about blogging! And you are reading it! (Whoever you are, my SiteMeter will spill the details later, moohaha!)

Here are the rules. As for me? I only really have Part 1 to answer, because I am clever. Grasshoppers, the rest is up to you.

Part 1) Explain where or how you came up with the name for your blog. You can go into as much or as little detail as you like, it is totally one hundred percent up to you.

Coming up with a name for this blog was actually sort of easy. Let's go through it together, shall we?

My name = Aly. (That answer definitely requires rocket science.)

The bear = Way back in high school, a batch of friends somehow ended up tacking "bear" onto the end of our names. If I remember rightly, there was a N(a)omibear and a Hanniebear as well. Don't ask me how it started, I have absolutely no recollection now. All I know is that I was an Aly, and that I used it for all of my very first internet login names. Then came the embarrassment phase; where I would cringe giving my email to anybody because Aly? What the heck is that? Are you twelve? Eventually though, the cycle of internet-login/blog-names continued on its rotation, and Aly became my handy-dandy innernet name of choice. And ta-dah! I still use it. Interesting, no?

The ramblings = If you've stuck around a while, you'll notice I tend to ramble on - mostly about nothing. I've always been quite good at rambling (or waffling, or babbling, or whining, or whinging, or complaining, whatever you want to call it is fine by me.) (But nothing nasty, please.)  (Or I might cry.) (Or at least sulk.) (And then possibly blog about it.) (Possibly? Who the heck am I kidding? Of course I'd blog about it.)

So, using inspiration from Danny over at Dad Gone Mad (his vomit equations are so good, I'm planning on teaching my kids algebra that way in the future), the mathematics behind my blog name works looks a little something like this;

c + (by) / (..) + a + b = Ramblings.. by Aly.
(Otherwise known as the Blog That I Use To Procrastinate From Doing Other More Important Things.)

Thanks for reading it. Maybe one day, I'll hand out t-shirts.

Part 2) Pay the Briliant Donkey himself a visit, and take a peek at the list of people that are participating in this-here meme. Find a blog, and try to guess the reasons behind its naming and see how close you are.

I know I'm interested in finding out how a few people on my blog roll decided on their names. Like this one. And this one too. Oh, and also this one.

And in case you missed the link to BD's site the last three times, here is another one for you.

Because one can never have enough links, you know.

Part 3) Participate yourself. Spread the blogging meme loooove. And let's face it - after thirty days of this, we'll be trampling over one another to get to new memes just to pass the time.

All the underlining in this post is making my eyes bleed. If you are still reading now, I salute you! And now order you to head over to your nearest optometrist and get your eyes checked. I know I will be.

2 down; 28 to go.

Sweet November

Hello, November! Hello, NaBloPoMo! (To thirty days of straight blogging!) Hello, Typepad! (I will use thee well this month, as always.) Hello, Christmas decorations popping up everywhere! Hello, steamy hot days where it is much nicer to hide out inside! Hello, gym weigh in. Ugh.

I must brag, because I am proud. We were measured at the gym around the first of October, and had our first monthly follow up measurement today. Here are the results.

Weight: Stayed the same. Which I am bummed about, but predicted, I just had a feeling.
Arms: I lost 1.5cm! Yippee! Only 6m worth of flubber to go...
Bust: I lost 4cm. Holy cow! My first instinct was OMG I DON'T CARE ABOUT BUST, but then I realised it actually included your back and sides too, so I'm happy about that. I have the most icky back ever.
Waist: I lost 1.5cm. Again, not much, but still a loss!
Thighs: I lost 1.5cm. As above. Loss! LOSS!
Hips: I lost 3cm. Off the hips. Shimmmmmy.

All in all? I am pleasantly surprised. And very happy that working my ass off most days has actually paid off. Counting, I have attended the gym 26 times. In just over a month, that aint bad! Especially considering the fact that they are closed on Sundays. And I walked my first 4km walk.

Congratulations are welcomed in the form of Converse sneakers and ER DVDs. (Season 6 and on, please.)

Good luck to EVERYONE participating in NaBloPoMo, and be sure to leave me a comment if you have the time. I'd love to find some new people to stalk this month, to add to my blogroll. One can never stalk too many people!


1 down; 29 to go.

Happy Halloween!

If you are American, anyway. If you are Australian and you celebrate Halloween, bah humbug to you. And your pesky little children, too. If you are American, you will probably think I am a mean bitch after reading this post. Sorry about that.

I cannot stand it when people here (here being Sydney) use the Halloween excuse as a means to run around ringing doorbells for hours on end (CONSTANTLY too, geez, fuck off!) and demanding lollies.

I mean, excuse me? Do you SEE any pumpkins around here? Any autumn leaves falling off trees? Any spooky decorations? No? Excellent. Go away now.

Perhaps I should put some handy pointers down about this subject. So you can see what a grouch I actually am about it all.

  • You only need to ring the damn doorbell once, assholes

  • You should not be roaming the streets BY YOURSELF when you are all of six years old. Where the hell are your parents? Hello, child molestors?

  • We don't celebrate this holiday and the fact that you aren't even dressed up? You are not worth the effort of going downstairs.

  • If there were any lollies or candy in this house I would have eaten it already, so I wouldn't give it to some snotty little brat that I just saw stomping through the garden to get to the damn door anyway.

So while I gleefully ignore the constantly ringing doorbell and restrain myself from hanging a rude note on the front door, let me leave you with this nice video.

P.S. I still want me some candycorn.

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