Blog Share: Anony-Blogger.

It's that time again - time for some anonymous blogging. Please take the time to read the posts by the bloggers listed at the bottom of this page, where the authors are scattered across the internet. As always, please respect the person who is sharing on my blog today, and feel free to leave comments as you usually would. I'm sure they would appreciate them!

We had heard through the grapevine of friends that my spouse's friend was moving across the country to our general area. Eventually, my spouse talked to his friend, who confirmed that he was indeed moving near us. We didn't hear anything for a few months, so we didn't worry about it. One night we got a call from my spouse's friend, who said that he was halfway done with his two-day move across the country, and could he move in with us the next day. THE NEXT DAY.

My spouse said he would have to ask me, and then while he was on the phone with his friend, asked if the friend could move in the next day. I said yes, but we would have to talk about rent and a time limit on the stay. My spouse said ok and told his friend that he could move in with us THE NEXT DAY.

To give you a little background information, I have always thought my spouse's friend was flaky and irresponsible. My spouse didn't really see the flakiness, always forgave it, or refused to acknowledge it. I am not exactly sure what my spouse thought about the friend. All I know is that if I were to say a bad thing against the friend, it made my spouse defensive and upset.

My spouse's friend moved in with us. I expected an almost 30 year old person moving across the country to have saved up some money for the move that had been planned for 6 months, but of course my spouse's friend had not done saved anything. I told my spouse that his friend could stay with us until he found a job and got one or two paychecks, and then he had to move out. I set a 3 month maximum stay. My spouse said that was fine, but my spouse wanted to be the one to talk to his friend about it. He didn't want me to talk to the friend about it. I said fine. I did notice that my spouse's friend was eating our groceries though, so I politely pointed out to my spouse's friend that we had cleaned out a shelf in the refrigerator and a shelf in the pantry for the food he bought himself, but if he needed more room, he should let us know. The next day, my spouse's friend went to the grocery store and bought his own food. My spouse was annoyed that I said anything, but it worked.

The friend had a lot of job interviews but didn't get anything right away. He took a part-time retail job to get out of the house and make some money, and after a little over two months, found a really great full-time job. My spouse's friend told my spouse that he wanted to stay with us until he saved up the down payment for an apartment. My spouse told his friend that was ok, and I didn't see it as a problem because it should only take another two to four weeks for his friend to save enough.

After a few weeks, my spouse's friend told my spouse that he wanted to stay with us until he paid off his credit car debt and his car loan (another four or five months). My spouse didn't tell me this, and I kept waiting for the announcement that my spouse's friend was moving. I finally asked my spouse when the move-out date was, and my spouse told me about the debt. My spouse's friend had been living with us for four months at this point. I told my spouse that he had two weeks to tell his friend that he needed to move out, or I would tell the friend myself. My spouse was mad, but he agreed. About a week after my discussion with my spouse, the friend told my spouse that he wanted to stay with us for an additional four months. My spouse said he would have to ask me. I was livid. I was angry with both my spouse for being a pushover and at the friend for being a mooch.

The next day while I was at work, I called my spouse's friend and left him a voicemail saying that we needed to have a serious talk that night. When we all got home, my spouse's friend announced that he had found an apartment, paid the first month's rent that evening, and would be moving out in a month (five months after he had moved in). I am assuming he got the hint about what I wanted to discuss that night. He asked us to help him move, but we were going to be out of town that weekend. I wouldn't have helped anyway, but I am sure my spouse would have.

We got back from our weekend out of town, and my spouse's friend was gone. The floors were covered in mud where my spouse's friend had tracked it walking in and out of the house during the move. The bathroom and bedroom my spouse's friend had been using were filthy. But he was gone, hallelujah.

We still see my spouse's friend from time to time because he is in the same friend circle as some people we really like. My spouse's attitude is that his friend needed help, and it was our job to provide it, and maybe his friend was not the most considerate person ever, but it's over so everything is fine now. I can't really get over it. I think my spouse's friend is an irresponsible, inconsiderate, manipulative person, and I struggle to be civil to him. I wish it were not such a struggle just to smile politely, but it really is.


Here are the other bloggers participating this time around. Check them out!

Vent Vox
Turn On The Stars
Trudie - Life After AC
Swimming With Sharks
Stefanie Says
Shhh! Librarian-In-Training
Sauntering Soul
Sass Attack
Reflections in the Snow Covered Hills
Red Red Whine
Our Simplicity
One New Duck
Oh My Seven
The Occasional Truth
No Lady
Nancy Pearl Wannabe
Muse On Vacation
Messing With Texas
Melliferous Pants
Live Work Dream
Just Below 63
Java Literally
Full of Snark
Face Down
Ex Everything
Everything I Like Causes Cancer
Did I Say That Outloud?
The Daily Tannenbaum
The Coconut Diaries
Bright Yellow World
Breath Smiles Tears
And You Know What Else
3 Carnations

21 Comments • Labels:  


Pants said...

What a mooch!

kirby said...

Oh man. People overstaying their welcome is the worst thing ever. We had a 'friend' stay with us for what was originally supposed to only be a few months too. They ended up staying seven months, and only worked for about two of those, before they decided to move back with their parents. We were so glad they decided to leave, because we're suckers and couldn't ask. Kudos to you for standing your ground! .

heidikins said...

Gaaaah! This sounds like a complete nightmare. I'm so glad the friend is finally out of your house!


Raven said...


Having to be the voice of reason in those situations sucks ass. I have been there.

Noelle said...

I had a similar situation where my boyfriend had his friend stay at my house for a few weeks. I was ready to kill both of them after a few days, and I still can't stand his friend.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I'm impressed that you can even be civil to him! I would have a very, VERY hard time.

Katie said...

I think I would be even more upset with my spouse for not respecting my wishes! It sounds like he was taking advantage of your generosity.

citystreams said...

You let someone move in with you with only ONE day's notice? I would have laughed. Hubster wouldn't even have bothered to ask me. He would have known the answer was no. But our house is tiny and we are broke, so who would want to stay with us anyway.

The pope called and said he's going to make you a saint.

Laurel said...

OMG, you are an angel. I would have thrown Friend out after three months. How does he get to live somewhere for five months for free in order to "pay down his debt?" WTF!

But, I'm glad you got through this and compromised with your spouse while standing your ground. Uffda.

3carnations said...

Ugh. I'm glad it's over. Did the friend ever do anything nice for you after? A thanks for letting me mooch off of you gift card or something?

Staying til he pays off his car loan...Give me a break.

Lacey Bean said...

A - I want to do this next time! Alynda, can you let me know who sets it up?

B - great post!! I loved the use of the word "spouse" haha, it made it seem so angry!! And that friend would have NEVER lasted that long in my house!!

Kristie said...

Some people are more patient than me. I would have been livid, too!

Allie said...

Wow! I can't imagine having anyone else live with us like that. I think I'd go insane. You handled everything so well!

Stefanie said...

You are right. Spouse is wrong. Simple as that.

(Sorry, Spouse!) ;-)

Sauntering Soul said...

This sounds like absolute torture to live through. I'm glad he finally left. My ex's brother lived with us for 3 months. That was one of the longest 3 months of my life.

abbersnail said...

Wow. Just... wow.

Corinne said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one. My last house guests, whom my spouse invited to stay with us, ended up living with us twice. And inviting their friends over to hang out in my yard. Their friends who I could not stand. It wasn't AS terrible since we have an apartment on the back of our house, but still. Our usual tenant ended up sleeping on our couch for three months.

I charged them more than I charge our regular tenant. That made me feel much better. But they stole my trash can.

New Duck said...

Bleahh!!! I would throw a rock at this guy if he came and stayed in my house that long. I don't know how you endured it, but good for you for not committing homicide.

courtney said...

Wow, what a mooch! I think you handled it like a saint, but I do hope enough time eventually passes to where you can all be friends again.

Erin said...

I can commiserate--my fiance has friends like this too who just want to use him (and, by extension, me). I hope that at least this friend was halfway decent to you on a personal level. :)

Operation Pink Herring said...

Wowzer. That's nuts. I'd have a hard time being civil, too!

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