It's Only Fitting.

It would only be appropriate to start off my blogging for 2009 with a whinging post, don't you think? It's been a fair while since I sat down and banged out a rant which is a shame, as they usually make me laugh reading back on them at a later date.

(For those who've been around for a while, think back to the wedding-song-stealing post or the slow-walking-newspaper-man post. Good times.)

I've lived in our flat ever since I moved to London - so over 12 months now. It's absolutely become home, despite the ever unreliable transport links and the fact that I live in the complete opposite direction of every single one of my friends over here and I've never had cause to complain about it. (Much.) We live in a complex with about forty other flats, and it's split up really well into little compartments for a little extra privacy. In the ground floor corridor where we are, there are only two other apartments.

In the entire time I've been here, I've seen the first flat's occupants a grand total of once. The lady is either hardly ever home, or just really, really quiet. It's the perfect neighbour! The other flat used to be rented out by a young Chinese couple who lived with their mother - they also kept to themselves, but were friendly enough when we saw them. Sadly, they moved out a couple of months ago, and we've had an empty room across from us since then.

Until recently ...

Yes, I have a neighbour rant.

One night last weekend, there was a knock on the door in the late evening. Being in my pyjamas, like any respectable holiday-maker would be, I forced J to get it. It was a couple of young guys, saying hello and that they had moved in across the hallway. They had a couple of internet set-up questions, so J helped out as much as he could and welcomed them to the building. Half an hour later they were back, asking for the address that they lived in. (Do you not have tenancy papers? How did you find the place the first time?) This first night, there were two guys and a girl that had moved in.

Fast forward to the next day, when I headed out to go shopping in the morning. There was a sickly cigarette smell in the hallway, so strong that my coat picked up the scent after walking through it for all of five seconds. It was gone once I got to the main foyer of the building, and was only in our hallway. I forced J to go outside and sniff the air too, just to prove it wasn't me going mad - so looks like our new inhabitants are breaking the 'No smoking indoors' rule. Needless to say, I am not impressed.

They're really, really noisy. It doesn't help that when they're home, they leave their flat door propped open - why do you think that is? - but even on the odd occasion that it's closed, I can still hear them. Through two huge wooden doors. Three, if I close the bedroom door too. That's a lot of wood, right there.

They also appear to be multiplying in numbers. As I speak, there are about five guys hanging around & I saw two girls moving bags in this afternoon. The flat itself is either a one-bedroom one like mine, or it's a two-bedroom at most, but regardless, that's a lot of people. I'm puzzled.

The last straw for me was on Sunday in the wee hours of the morning, when I was awoken at 3:30 in the morning by dance music & shouting voices. I got up to see what was going on, and sure enough, there were at least ten people having a jolly old time right outside our flat. J actually opened the door and had a bit of a go at them, but I feel like this is only the beginning.

(If I'm woken up again or if the cigarette smell gets worse, I'm going to become that very grouchy old cat lady who lodges formal complaints.)

My parting words to them, should they ever randomly stumble across this blog and put two and two together? You have a perfectly good apartment right there, so get out of the fucking hallway and close your fucking door!

I feel much better now.

Please tell me I'm not the only one with horrible neighbours - what sort of stunts have you had to put up with, and how did you deal with it?

15 Comments • Labels: ,  


Nathan Pralle said...

Ah -- neighbor rants, how I love them. Well done, Alynda.

Back when I was a wee lad and living alone in my Single Life(tm), I had an upstairs apartment by myself in a split-level building that was populated by far too many older folk. I thought that "secured doorways" sounded safe -- instead, they signal, "old and crotchety", in apartment-speak. Little did I know.

Now, I'm a courteous neighbor, but I do have late night habits of doing laundry at the wee hours and taking showers around, A.M. It's just me.

But, apparently this offended my neighbors, because although the laundry did NOT have a time limit on it when I first moved in, within a few weeks it suddenly was only open from 7am to 9pm. NINE!? I ask you, when am I supposed to do my laundry? I ended up hauling it a mile away to a 24-hour laundromat just so I could get it done at 12:30am and so forth.

The real back-breaker was my downstairs neighbor, a bitch called Linda. Linda was *offended* and *disturbed* by my showering late at night and told me so by leaving acidic post-it notes on my door saying how she hated my attempts at hygiene. Oh, and I played my stereo too loud. I replied in kind, at first being nice and saying that I was very penitent and if she would please call me (I left my number) the next time an offense occurred, I'd be happy to correct it. This charade continued through a few more exchanges, me NEVER receiving a phone call, but just more sticky notes, the last one threatening to call the landlord. I finally replied saying that she was bloody WELCOME to call the landlord because she had not followed through on warning me at all, and until then, she could stick it.

When I moved out, I left her a very nasty note saying that I was leaving, I hoped she was happy, and that she was miserable for the rest of her days. Stupid wench.

Katie said...

That sucks! I hope the situation gets better and if it doesn't, put in a complaint. The landlord will probably notice the cigarette smoke anyway.

Fiona said...

blah. good luck with that :\ at least things like smoking are reasonably easy to prove with the smella nd all, but watch the extra bodies not on the lease move out quick if there's a complaint made.

Busana Muslim said...

ow that's horrible.
wish the situations better soon. :)

kirby said...

its really bad that the thing that made me laugh most about that post was the phrase "that's a lot of wood, right there"

ANYWAY.. remember my crack head neighbours who deal on the front lawn? They're still there.. We're treated to his random outbursts of anger about once a week now, when he starts throwing things and yelling and the other day his skankmole girlfriend locked him out of the house during one of these outbursts. Oh My God. I have never laughed so much in my life.

We have to laugh at it now.. it's gone on too long for us to do anything else. I'm not sure why they haven't been evicted yet though..

~Mum~ said...

me ... never had problems with neighbours LMAO

we get on so well with ours that they took like 11 months to notice you weren't here LMAO

i hope they go away !!!

Lia said...

You should absolutely lodge formal complaints. If they are breaking building rules and disturbing you that much, you should definitely go on record. It may or may not help the situation, but it just seems like the right thing to do.

So sorry to hear about your new neighbors - it sounds like a horrible group to live near.

Noelle said...

Oh that sucks! I was actually just going to write about my annoying upstairs neighbor who feels it's okay to knock on my door at 5:15am. (I mean, I was up and playing the radio, but that's no reason to assume it's okay to ask to come over.)

And by the way, I'm just getting back around to my blog reading, so happy new year, merry christmas, and congrats on your one year Londonversary!

Operation Pink Herring said...

Oh, neighbors. I have a few rants, but my neighbors aren't half as bad as yours seem to be, and we annoy the neighbors right back (not intentionally!) because we're airheads who leave the alarm set for 7:15am when we go on vacation... and our walls are VERY thin. Oops. We deserve what we get (which is listening to very loud sex and hearing them yell profanities at football games, as well as play their guitar well into the night).

I hope Jason gives them a real talking to (that's what men are for, after all!) For three months we lived in an apt that was next to the house that all the college rugby players lived in, and after two nights of listening to them hazing new members ALL NIGHT LONG, I'm not ashamed to admit that I called the cops on them. And then I called back and yelled at the cops for taking so long to come break up the party.

Miss Em said...

Yay! You don't do enough ranty posts, lady. I was beginning to think your life was a little too perfect.

Nothing worse than inconsiderate neighbours. I really hope it gets better for you!

cady said...

omg i have more bad neighbor stories than i can share! we had one neighbor in the apartment complex we lived in leave for work around 3-4 a.m. with his music still blaring. we couldn't get it turned off, and we couldn't get back to sleep. when joe went to the office later that morning to complain, there was a line of people there about the same issue!

Sarah said...

Ack!! Noisy, smokey neighbours are the WORST!! We've had our share, including the pot-smoking, noisy neighbour. Very mellow and nice (har har), but annoying just the same.

I hope they calm down, shut the door, and shut up!

Mistress B said...

And that was why we moved 18 months ago!

Our worst though would have to be the guy that sat on his front lawn drinking all day with the stereo blasting who used to send his kids up to visit us at meal times as they didn't have much money for food...........

LaLa said...

Oh man. I'm sorry. Your new neighbours appear to be me 6 years ago.

Scott Farley said...

You have my sympathy.

I had a similar problem, and to be honest I was 'too nice' for 'too long'.

I guess there is a temptation to be a 'good neighbour' and not upset them too much by complaining.

Resist it - they are being bad neighbours - they should be dealt with firmly (and fairly) right form the start. IMO, one warning then take every course of action possible to get them out.

It sounds harsh, but the other way never seems to work.

Maybe its just me.

good luck


All content (C) Breathe Gently 2006-2023
Blog Design by Splendid Sparrow