So I Need You.

Turning 25 ... now I can officially say that I've been there, and done that.

I've joked about having a quarter life crisis for a while now but as Jase has wisely pointed out, I may have actually clocked that milestone already, what with changing my career, moving house (twice!), visiting a couple of continents, oh, and moving abroad in the past 18 months. The boy might have a point, there. It seems my quarter life crisis has averted itself, for now!

This past few weeks has been the time for changes across the board. I've seen & heard of so many random events -  relationships stalling, people moving on in different directions, new careers, engagements, weddings, pregnancies. There's certainly something in the water, folks.

So where does this leave me?

It has me thinking towards the future, that's for sure. I've always been a planner. I work best with lists, with preparing, and having things plotted out and organised in advance. That's all well and good for most things, but not so good when you're dealing with relationships and emotions.

I've come to realise over the years that getting two completely different individuals on the same wavelength (and time frame!) as one another, is no easy feat. This time last year, which would have been leading up to our six year anniversary, I was feeling pretty snarky. It was as though everyone around me was moving forward, and while I was living the dream here in London, something was missing. (That something was rather dazzling and sparkly, I'm sure you can understand where I'm going with this?) I was ready to move forward but Jase wasn't.

This brought about a lot of tears on my part, and I turned into this horrible, horrible person, the kind of girlfriend I never wanted to become - complaining, nagging, annoying - and led to a lot of frustration on his part, I'm sure. It took me a while, but I eventually realised that it just wasn't the right time, and me making such a fuss? Probably wasn't helping the nonexistent situation much, either.

Fast forward to this year - where things seem the same, but are actually quite different. No, we are not engaged, but there have been more realistic 'future talks' between us. This time around, we can have actual discussions about where we're headed, rather than resorting to petty tantrums when someone (me?) doesn't get their way.  When you think about it, having been together since we were 18 and 20 respectively, we've basically grown up with each other for the most part of our adult lives. He's my best friend who I also happen to love, and I know that we'll be on the same page together at some point. That thought alone makes me happier than you could imagine.

My 25th year is going to be one of no regrets, and no expectations. Everything happens for a reason, and in its own time. And for now, my time is being spent relaxing on the lounge with Jase, tapping away on our respective laptops in companionable silence, with the cat skulking around in the background. And I wouldn't have my Saturday evening any other way!

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Lara said...

You're just so cute. I'm glad you have such a good attitude about where your relationship is and where it's heading. That is already a key to a great relationship right there.

Viviane said...

Happy birthday! I am glad you've come to terms with the non-sparkly situation of your relationship! I could tell from your blog posts last year that you were frustrated, so I am glad you're in a different place now. :)

kirby said...

naww.. thats a lovely post, dear!

Your theories on what years will turn into turn out pretty well. Remember when I didn't want to turn 24, and you told me it would be my year of adventure and then I went overseas, wound up in a relationship and started a new job? Totally adventurous. I am with you on no regrets and no expectations!

Jess said...

Happy birthday! I'm glad you're feeling so much better about your future. It helps when your partner is willing to talk about it!

Erin said...

Happy Birthday again! I'm glad the future is looking so bright. It's nice to be able to have those productive relationship discussions.

Ree said...

Happy Birthday sweetie!

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