You can tell that it's not my usual TWW when I had to stop and actually count backwards to figure out how many days past transfer today was. That is SO not me. What day is it again? Right. 4dp5dt.

Normally I'd be peeing on sticks by now. Not this time. I honestly don't want to waste any more money than I already have on this entire crapshoot of a cycle - the stim itself, the $$ in moving the embryos, the cost of the frozen cycle. All this to rest on one dodgy embryo.. yeah, not worth it.

I'm still undecided about when to go for my blood test. Do I do it on my birthday, like I'm supposed to? Or do I do it the day before, since I don't particularly care for a BFN on that day. Do I pee on a stick that morning, just to prepare myself for the worst that I know is coming? I've never waited out for a blood test before. I don't know what to do.

I wish you got your money back when you had a failed cycle. It would make things just that little less crappy.

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Non Sequitur Chica said...

I wouldn't want the blood test on my birthday- see if they can move it up a day. Or, if they won't move it up I would test the day before.

I'm sorry that you are not excited. I hope that you are pleasantly surprised!

Emilie said...

I also would try to avoid testing on your birthday - you don't want to remember that for years to come if you don't get good news, right? I am still crossing my fingers for good news. It's not impossible <3 I wish we weren't so far away from each other! xx

Mel said...

Hugs love!! Can you make it the day after perhaps?
Thinking of you often!! xoxo

ADSchill said...

I know how you feel. Most of my natural cycles are this way. I have so little hope that I don't even know how close I might be to ovulation or how many days past. It's totally a protective wall. I usually test the day before a beta so I can be prepared for the results.

I'm sorry this cycle is such a downer for you. I hate these situations.

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