Not a Bad Monday, Really.

It's currently half term for most of the London schools, so our office hours are a little shorter this week: we're working 9-4pm rather than the usual 9-6:30pm. Instead of heading for home, I decided to head to Oxford Street for a little shopping.

I've become smitten with a cheap as chips store called Primark, where I can get cheap work pants, bras & undies - so that was first stop on my list. I walked away with 45 pounds worth of bits and pieces, including shirts, boxers and socks for Jason PLUS a few more pairs of trousers, tops and lacy knickers for me.

I also stopped into Tiffany's and admired the engagement rings, particularly the one that am completely and utterly smitten with - though felt a wee bit stupid when the saleslady asked me would I like to try it on. Er, it's sad enough that I was even looking at it, trying it on would've made me feel like a complete sad case. It's still beautiful though, don't you think. So sparkly - talk about wishful thinking!

After getting home and doing my usual internet rounds, I was reading this article about the average time it takes for a relationship to go from serious to engagement - the average time is two years, 11 months and nine days, according to this particular study anyway. This led to some huffs of annoyance on my part & some worried looks on Jason's, because hello? Five and a half years! Seriously. SERIOUSLY!

But it did get me thinking - what is the average time frame for the next step? I would've picked around the three year mark as well, I think. What about you?


58 Comments • Labels: ,  

58 comments:

ashley said...

Yeah that seems about right to me. But recently a lot of my friends have been getting married within the first year. That just seems crazy to me though..I don't know.

That ring to gorgeous though. Absolutely beautiful. I'm a tacori fan myself though. :)

Kat said...

Primark = Penny's in Ireland and I love Primark. Awesome.

Glad you get some more time for yourself 9-4 sounds reasonable :)

a different ashley said...

Ooh! What a fun subject - last night at dinner I was totally talking about this with my friends.

So I did some calculating...
I met my boy September 11, 2004
We got engaged December 25, 2006
That's 2 years, 3 months, and 14 days.

It seemed perfect to me! But I could see waiting longer. I cannot IMAGINE getting engaged any sooner. Honestly, it seems so bizzare to marry someone you've only met in the last year or so. (Unless you're over the age of 30.)

And, dude, I love how you keep dropping major hints to your lovely lurker.
Here's mine:
JASON, ENGAGE THIS LOVELY WOMAN!! NOW!!
You can stand living together, she's obviously cute and smart and funny. Catch her. :)

-R- said...

I probably would have guessed two years, but three doesn't surprise me. We had to go through a weekend of group couples counseling when we were engaged, and there were couples there who had been together for 10 years, and one couple who got engaged after TWO WEEKS of dating.

Yes, you have been together for five years, but you were also REALLY young when you met!

Solomon Broad said...

I don't know how old you are, but Bon Marché is a nice shop.

Dutchess of Kicball said...

When I was younger I probably would have said three years, but now as I'm older and have dated more I would say less than two, it gets easier to pin point what works and what doesn't and what you are attracted to as you get more experience.

Anika said...

I think it depends on the age when you and your beau meet. My ex and I were together for 4 years before we figured out it wasn't meant to be, but we met when we were really young and wouldn't have considered an engagement so early. Now that I'm a tad bit older, however, I don't think I'd wait over two years. . .

alana said...

Well, I can't really comment on that as Matt and I will probably be together eight or so years in total before we get engaged. But like Anika said, it's a different ball game when you're younger versus when you're older right?

What I can comment on however? Primark is AWESOME. So many times I have thought to myself 'Why oh why do we not have Primark in Canada?'. I have a substantial collection of Primark undies and socks and they all cost me next to nothing. Swoon.

alana said...

Um, also? That ring is gorgeous!

Nic said...

I would say around 2 years. My friends have really run the gamut though, those who met younger took longer, those who met older are within a year or two. By older, I still mean under 25, though.

Audrey said...

Tim and I were together 9 months when we got engaged. Which kinda makes it sound like i got knocked up on our first date and he finally popped the question after I popped out a kid, but that's not how it happened at all. :)

We were engaged nearly 2 years, though, which I think makes up for the quick dating-to-engaged time frame.

Jen said...

Why are you looking worried, Jason? What more do you need?!

So I've got a year and six months until I'm at engagement time... I wonder if guys know that's when they're supposed to do it?

PrincessPolly said...

I love Primark. Although I preferred it before all the famous people started to wear stuff from there, now it's a bit overrated. Hmmm, next step... I think it generally is about three years (it was about that for my little sis and her hubby, although it took them another four to actually get married), but i think it's something that depends on age. I think someone is likely to get married more quickly if they meet someone later in life (or when they're about to hit a milestone age like 30) than if they met their man at a younger age.

heidikins said...

Swoon! Gorgeousness!

And as for "time frame" stuff... out here in good, 'ole SLC the AVERAGE time from first meeting to "I do" is typically a year to 18 months... so I gracefully bow out of any kind of "normalcy" suggestions...

xox

Christar said...

The norm should be about 2 to 3 years... sounds about right. But living in Utah, these kids are jumping the gun around 19 and 20, and only after 4 months to a year. It's so crazy to me!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years. I'm in no rush (at least right now) since I am still in school and would like to finish that before moving forward anymore. But after 5 and a half years.... dude, I can totally see where you're coming from. I hope you get that ring! And soon. ;)

grungedandy said...

no such thing as normal went steady after 2 days moved in after 5 weeks (I was on hols for 2 of those 5 weeks) engaged after 1 year exactly still not married 11 & a half years later!!!!!!!!!!!!! go figure, and actually not bothered either just enjoy each other feels like it was yesterday and forever all at the same time, always has. when it's right it's right Oh and always remember that on the 29th of February a woman can ask a man to marry her my mum did as she was getting fed up of waiting for my dad to get round to it! Jason beware hehe Seeya hugya *G*

Kate said...

We got engaged on December9 2008, which was 2 years, 3 months and 2 days after our first official date.

To me it didn't seem like we were rushing it at all, and it still doesn't, though realising that by the time we get married we'll have been together for less time than pretty much anyone else we know was kind of odd.

It's defnitely different when you're older than when you're younger. I was 23 (and he was 25) when we met, which is quite young, but much older than a lot of my friends who met while still at Uni.

Lovely ring!

Candace said...

If it makes you feel any better Gene and I were together for 8 years before getting engaged and then 2 more before getting married! We're getting married April 12 and our 10 year anniversary is June 25 ;)

mooiness said...

I don't think there's a "correct" time frame that suits everyone. You are two individuals and sometimes it takes time to sync up to that point when you are both ready for the rest of your lives.

The problem occurs when one of you is ready but the other isn't, and the one who's ready is tired of waiting. ;)

janet said...

We met Feb 03 and were engaged Nov 05 so almost 3 years. However, I think it all depends on how old you are at the start of the relationship.

I love the Tiffany Novo ring but if you to get more diamond for your dollar, I'd suggest finding a jeweler who will make you a replica of it. You can basically get the same ring without the brand name for like half the price!

Mick said...

Patience Miss Aly. Yes..it may have been 5 years, but look at your age.

I think the time of a relationship from meeting to engagement is totally dependent on the age of the people involved. You are young. You have so much time.

So Jason is taking his time, and I think that there is nothing wrong with that. You have the rest of your lives together. This time you have now, you won't have again.

Just enjoy it :)

..and crikey, if you want a ring like that, you might have to wait another 5 years at least ;)

Margaret said...

The ring is quite gorgeous. And I think you should just be patient with Jason. He'll do it when the time is right I'm sure. Just enjoy the time you have together now and make the most of it.

Ree said...

With the Practice Husband? 4 years. With Mr. Hot? 3 months. (Well, it ended up being 11 months to marriage, because we had to wait for divorces to be final), but 3 months to engagement. ;-)

Whatever will be right for you and Jason will be right. (That ring is gorgeous though, and I don't even like diamonds!)

Leslie said...

Ring - FAB-YOU-LOUS!
I think every relationship and situation is different, but this was my scenario: (don't laugh, I'm gonna give out some scary numbers here, Aly)
John and I met in the fall of 1980. I was 9 and had a BIG crush on him.
We met as "adults" in the winter of 1990. I was 19.
We kissed for the first time and officially were "together" by Christmas of 1991.
We got engaged at Thanksgiving of 1992.
We got married December 28, 1993. I was 22. (So YOUNG!)
(We were married and for 6 1/2 years before our daughter was born.)
So technically it was 13 years from 1st meeting to getting hitched, but the "adult wait time" was about 3 1/2 years.

Erin said...

We got engaged after 6 weeks. Crazy, but true. 2 years and 2 weeks later we got married. In May we'll have been married for 4 years, and we're starting to think about kids.

The ring is fantastic!

Auburn Kat said...

I would say about two - three years would be a good time. Who knows though!!!

BTW, I love how you say "smitten" and "knickers"!

Brie said...

P.S. Ring is BE-A-U-TIFUL!!

Brie said...

About 4.5 years. Though I'd have liked it to come sooner! :)

Jay said...

I sort of think the time thing is irrelevent. For me, it was just over the one year mark, but I've always been intense and I tend to know what I want. But people find intimacy on their own terms.

EmilyPie said...

I wish you the best !!

We started dating november 1st 2003

He proposed May 1st 2005 - one and a half years later.

We tied the knot almost one year after her proposed.

The Casual Perfectionist said...

I really think it depends on how old you are when you start dating and where you are in your lives when you start to settle down...

My hubby and I lived together for almost four years before he proposed, and then we were engaged for barely a month before we got married. (We've been together for over 11 years and will be married 8 years this year.) But, neither of us wanted to get married right away. We both wanted to wait. It wasn't until we started thinking about houses and other legal matters that we made the legal jump to married life.

To be honest, nothing changed for us. My last name changed, but our feelings for each other and the bond we had didn't. It's hard to explain.

People always try to make others fit into a pre-described timeline when it comes to all kinds of things. The same thing happens with kids. We didn't want to have a baby until we were both in our 30s, so we waited. What works for us won't work for everyone.

Patience, grasshopper. ;)

Marriage-101 said...

We got engaged after only 8 months, but i would say 3 years is average, unless you've been together since HS or early college - then it takes longer. And that is a GORGEOUS ring.

Julie said...

Um.

Aly- you and I... that's all there is.
Let's just buy ourselves rings.

Lys said...

In all honestly, I have to say - I was with my @**@*@* ex for a year and a half when he proposed. I can say we were engaged for 6 1/2 YEARS and that boy did not ever buy me a ring - thankfully I got smart. So, when it comes to engagement, I'm a tad apprehensive now.

When it will be, it will be. And when you LEAST expect it, Aly, it will be there - trust! To quote the Secret - you might want to print out that pic of the ring, try it on - envision yourself wearing it and put it out to the universe. :) Stay positive! *hugz*

Kelly said...

Well, I can't talk on the timeline thing. Engaged after 9 months, which was 9 days before my 19th birthday, so hey. Two years next month! *faints*

PS. Funny fact - my mum proposed to my dad, and said these words "so, are we gonna get married or what? if i'm good enough to live with, i'm good enough to marry!"
and yesterday was their 24th wedding anniversary. LOL

Miss A said...

I read the same stat today too!

Take salvation in knowing that it's different for everybody, and it's only you two that can ever decide when the time is right.

Ps - i love how honest you are in this post, esp given we all know Jase doesn't bother to read it ;-P

xx

brunette said...

Well, we got together in January 2001. Moved into together July 2003 (2.5 years later), got engaged May 2005 (another 2 years later) and got married March 2007. So together just over 6 years before we got married!

But we got together when were 17, so it doesn't seem unreasonable to wait for your early-mid 20s before tieing the knot.

If I was doing it all again now, at 24, I think I'd want an engagement by the end of the 3rd year, with a date SET. I've heard of too many guys putting a ring on the girls finger, but then refusing to set a date. If they're not intending to marry her, then it's not an engagement ring, it's an expensive GIFT.

enny said...

I was speaking to my friends about the article today and realised that people see engagement at different times too... less than three years sounded a bit soon to me, but I envisage engagement to wedding happening quite quickly, where as one of my other friends sees engagement as still getting to know the person before deciding.

My 4 year anniversary is Thursday :o)

Amber said...

Oh my God, I love that ring! So fabulous! We got engaged after three years together - we'd been living together for a year at that point. I guess it's different for everyone, though - my best friend from high school got engaged last March (on my wedding day, actually) after five months with the guy, and they're getting married in May...

Also: I share your love of Primark! Our nearest one is about thirty miles away, so lately I've been buying up lots of little Primark summer dresses via eBay. Now I just need the weather to wear them :)

kirby said...

my sister has been with HER Jason for over ten years now. I think it's something to do with the name 'Jason'... *suss*

I dunno on times... you probably wouldn't want to do it too soon, but I guess... sometimes you just know it's right...?
perhaps.

~Mum~ said...

LMAO
engaged after 4 months - married after 12
still together 24 years later !!!

if you want a ring like THAT baby girl - no wonder he aint wanting to propose - have you been dropping THAT many hints to him - poor guy LOL

Lia said...

Totally love that ring!

I find it funny that British schools have off this week - because so do the schools here - it's Presidents' Week, but one would think that wouldn't affect GB. Also, I think they say this is traditionally the snowiest week of the year, so they cancel school in anticipation. But I haven't seen that much snow in February that I remember.

Raven said...

I'm the one that sets that avg on it's ear.

5 mos. We got married one month after getting engaged. In June we will have been married 3 years.

It's second marriage for me, first for the hubs.

Virginia Gal said...

We were together a year and a half before we got engaged, and it was just over a year before we got married. But we were also in our mid/late 20's, so a few years ahead of you.

I knew within 3 months of meeting DH that we were going to be married, it just took him a little longer to realize it. Sometimes boys are slow that way.

Operation Pink Herring said...

It took us five years, five months and twenty six days (I just did the math). Call us slow!

Jess said...

That ring is gorgeous! I always thought 2-3 years seemed about right, and then we got engaged after 1. We'll have been together over 2 by the time we actually get married. We just both knew right away.

Jamie said...

Boyfriend and I have been together 4 years since October. Then again, I'm about to be 24 and he just turned 21. I think it would be awhile before we even thought about that next step :/

Deutlich said...

The idea of marriage scares the SHIT out of me. Oy.

Sarah said...

We are getting married 10 years to the date when we started dating! We started dating when I was 19 though. Engaged last summer, getting married this November. I got a bit impatient, to be sure, but we got ourselves established and bought a house, so I'm glad in the long run.

Virginia said...

I think the time for engagement totally depends on the situation. In college vs. out of college, if you live in the same town, age, etc. Alex and I have been together 4.5 years and know we'll get married sometime in the next two years, but there's no urgent rush right now.

Fiona said...

Why get married at all? :p Been together 10 years and so not getting married

katelin said...

I kind of agree with that survey, two to three years sounds about right. Granted it also depends on age. I love thinking about my future wedding, but I'm nowhere near ready yet.

However, I can see that after five years I may be more ready like you are...and nice ring pick, I'm a fan :)

Laurel said...

Three years is coming right up for me and no ring in sight! Sigh.

Bee said...

The ring - Omigod! Love it! Want it!

Stephanie said...

It took us six years and 36 days.

Then we were engaged for almost two years.

Perhaps we rushed it?

natalie said...

beautiful ring, and I don't know. You're still young...I'm 32 and no ring in sight. Hell, no man in sight!

Pam said...

Well honey, I hate to tell you this but my best friend just got married, two weeks before the 11th anniversary of their first date. On the beach, at sunrise, in Florida, on Valentine's Day. Sigh. Of course, they are a lot older, and that can make a difference! But still. Jason. SERIOUSLY!!!! Get with the program.


Auntie Pam

Lindsey said...

Hey Aly!! First, I totally want that Tiffany's engagement ring. Do you think Edgar will let me trade mine in for that one??? HA!
Also, I guess I am fairly average in terms of the time-line because Edgar proposed after we had been dating approximately three years and 2.5 months, which is not far off from the average. I have always thought that 2.5-3 years is a good time to consider where the relationship is going, even if engagement does not happen for some time. I think it's important that people are on the same page and "working toward the same goal of marriage." Do you know what I mean? Like...are we in this because we plan to one day get married or are we not meant to be together and should part ways. Obviously everyone's time line is going to be different based on their own circumstances....school, work, travel. You know what I mean. I think as long as you are both on the same page, then that's all that matters! OMG, that was so much assvice. Maybe I should shut up.





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