Australia Day Abroad.

Last December, I arrived in England. I've taught for three weeks, done a little sight seeing, had two interviews, and accepted a new job in a completely new field. Fast forward to exactly a month later, and I'm celebrating Australia Day in my new home, for the most part loving every minute of it. To celebrate, I thought I'd share a little light hearted randomness with you all. Read on and let me know how you fare at the end.

You know you're Australian if … (taken from Sydney Morning Herald)

1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".

2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

3. You think it's normal to have a leader called Kevin.

4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

5. You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son's pencil case when he first attends school.

7. When you hear that an American "roots for his team" you wonder how often and with whom.

8. You understand that the phrase "a group of women wearing black thongs" refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

9. You pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".

10. You pronounce Penrith as "Pen-riff".

11. You believe the "l" in the word "Australia" is optional.

12. You can translate: "Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas."

13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

14. You call your best friend "a total bastard" but someone you really, truly despise is just "a bit of a bastard".

15. You think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

16. You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.

18. You understand that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga" but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".

19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

24. You still don't get why the "Labor" in "Australian Labor Party" is not spelt with a "u".

25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.



26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

27. You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.

28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

29. You understand that "excuse me" can sound rude, while "scuse me" is always polite.

30. You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

31. You understand that "you" has a plural and that it's "youse".

32. You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call "Anzac cookies".

35. You still think of Kylie as "that girl off Neighbours".

36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit.

37. You believe the phrase "smart casual" refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.

42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says "cobber".

43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.


25 Comments • Labels: , ,  

25 comments:

grungedandy said...

Happy Australian Day! I only get some of those I’m going to show my ignorance and ask do you guys actually use “Dinkum” or is that another one of those “Cobber” things they tell us about but that you don’t actually use a bit like Apple & pears over here which was used about 100 years ago! Did you go find a “walk about” to celebrate in? Seeya hugya *G*

Viviane said...

Happy Australia Day! Did they purposefully misspell ugg boots? Is that some kind of Aussie insider I didn't get? :p

Solomon Broad said...

What does "girt" mean?

Jen said...

I feel so patriotic reading that. And it never occurred to me that labor was spelt like that and missing a u. Hmm.

Sarah said...

Lovely! I fell in love with Australia over "In a Sunburned Country" and can't wait to visit someday. Your list only makes me want to see it more! Except for the killer wildlife. Can't abide snakes at all and intensely panic, which may be the only reason I haven't gone yet.

Erin said...

Happy Australia Day! What does girt mean?

Lara said...

um, yeah, i'm definitely not australian. in case there was any doubt. :-P

Hana said...

Happy Aussie Day Aly!
I got all of them.. am sooo Australian :p
Love it!
:)

~Mum~ said...

yeah - Dazza and me spent the day in Penriff for 'Stralia Day ... LOL

Teacher A said...

R's sister lost a ton of weight while visiting Australia and New Zealand, due to her hatred of beets. What's up with the beets on burgers?

Angela said...

Well, I guess this proves that I'm an American. I didn't understand any of that.

kirby said...

*hand over mouth giggles*
I read that on another blog... but it's funnier the second time round.

Kelly said...

Well, if I ever doubted my Aussie-ness, this brings it back in full force!
I agree 100%!!

And people, beetroot on burgers is totally acceptable. In fact, I find it disappointing when my burger doesn't have it!

'Scuse me now, I'm off to have a sing-song:
"We're happy little Vegemites as bright as bright can be..."

Raven said...

There are beets on burgers?

Bee said...

Yeah, but we don't call them beets. We call it beetroot. It adds a sweety edge to the burger. An added zing to the medley of flavours...
he he he.
Alynda - Yep, Great minds! ;)

Miss A said...

hahaha - definitely great minds think alike ;-)!

Meg said...

That is a great list :D

Hope you didn't get too homesick!

Jacinta said...

That's great. Very Funny.
Hope you enjoyed your London Australia Day!

Leslie said...

Even though I do have a few questions and there were some of these that escaped me, I did enjoy a good laugh.
I have questions about numbers 2, 12, 18, 23, 34, 37 & 42.
An email may arrive shortly!!!

EmilyPie said...

I don't think I've ever read one of those, "You Know You Are From...." lists and though out loud, "Huh?" so many times until this one! ha.

Ashlie said...

I wish I was an aussie. Gah.

Fiona said...

like the list (and some of those "what the hell???" comments above me hehe)

Kristabella said...

Yeah. I'm definitely American.

Robert Summer said...

I love the digeredoo!

Sarah Summer said...

Haha! Most of them I understand, but what is girt?





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