Aly & Jase vs. Wedding Bands

We're in a funny cycle right now - where I'll go for weeks without thinking about wedding stuff too much, and then where it's all I can think about and right at the forefront of my mind. This past week has been the latter - and I have to say, I love it. It'll be nice when it's closer and it's one of the only things I can focus on but I'll take what I can get.

This weekend we caught up with the boy's brother and girlfriend, as they had just moved into a new apartment (with London city views!) and we wanted to check it out. It's just the two of them; J has asked M to be his best man at the wedding, and they get along really well - but don't really celebrate things like birthdays or buy each other gifts or anything. I can't understand that, so we brought along a bottle of bubbly as a house-warming gift for them, and lucky we did.. as they announced that they'd gotten engaged the night before! I did my best not to bombard them with questions since I remember from personal experience just how overwhelming that can be, but it will be exciting to see what they plan and when they set a date. I wonder if M will ask J to be one of his groomsmen?

Anywho, seeing her beautiful rock of a diamond led us to talking about wedding bands. My biggest fear with ordering wedding bands is basically down to my hands. You may call them slightly large for a lady; I call them man hands. It's ok, after twenty five years on this planet learning to love them (despite a certain jeweller actually laughing at my ring size when I was younger, ouch) I'll admit it - I have super large fingers.

If you've been a blog reader of mine before the move over here to "Breathe Gently" you might remember these posts: the one where my engagement ring was sent away to be resized just a mere day after our engagement, and the one where it finally came back to me all those months later. That wait was really, really difficult. But to this day, I've always been worried about what would happen when it came to choosing wedding bands - because no matter what kind we purchased, it would need to be resized and I would have to wait. (Patience is not one of my strong points.)

So here came the hard part: choosing the type of band to match to my ring. Jase has already decided that he wants the simplest of all white gold bands that he can find, and that's that. He'll be easy to buy for: we'll probably wait and get his ring back in Australia a few months before the wedding. Other than a watch, he doesn't wear any jewelery at all, so a ring is a big deal for him! I'm still torn about what to do with mine. Because I still think my e-ring is super beautiful and awesome, here's another picture for you - observe, the chubby man hands & wonky fingers!

The reason that the resizing took so initially, was because of the stones set in the half band that you can see. Logically, the easiest way to remedy that was to go for a simple white gold band at around the same width as the e-ring - 3mm. The plus side to this was also that it was the cheaper option too. But then, I really wanted to see how a sparkly band would pop against the my ring, so wanted to try a few on for size. Um, crazy move.

First things first, we went to a handful of random jewellery stores nearby. The plain gold band was nice, but was just that - just nice. Not dramatic, not amazing, just simple and nice. But alas! We couldn't find a diamond band to match the width or the size of my e-ring band. I tried on loads. They all looked wrong. One helpful friend told me that the only way to get a real match would be to head back to the store where the engagement ring was created... a fact which I relayed to Jase with glee, and then watched as he turned a nice shade of pale. I didn't specifically want or need a matching wedding band from a certain store, but it was worth looking anyway - so off we went.

And wow. I forget just how beautiful everything is there until I go and look at the display cabinets. I know it's super expensive and that you're partially paying for the brand, but the service at Tiffany & Co is great and they really, really know their jewels. I showed them my ring and they brought out a few options to try on, but there it was: the exact matching wedding band, right down to the size and sparkle of the diamonds. Of course, I had to examine it stuck on my knuckle with my e-ring loosely over the top, but you get the idea - it was beautiful.

What happens next? I have no idea. We haven't made up our minds yet - and I'm still in two minds, because one side of me is jumping for joy at the sight of those matching bands but the other side is feeling overwhelmingly guilty, because we could use that money to go towards our travels home or the wedding itself.  They have ordered in the wedding band in a bigger size for me to try on properly, so maybe we'll go look again and see what happens - or maybe we'll stick to the traditional gold band. It's early days yet, but I certainly want to get it ordered as soon as possible, because we'll be out of the country for a few months travelling later this year which will make ordering and waiting for a delivery to be virtually impossible to plan for. I guess we'll wait and see.

What do you prefer: the idea of plain, matching or mis-matched wedding bands? 

23 Comments • Labels: ,  


Erin said...

Ted and I have matching wedding bands, and they are very special to me. Our bands are made of white gold with a Celtic knot pattern to them. I love having matching bands because it works for us. Wedding bands are such a personal thing, though, and you just have to figure out what is going to be the best representation of your love.

Non Sequitur Chica said...

I don't think that a gold wedding band will look right with your e-ring. You could possibly do a white gold band to match which I think would look okay.

My wedding band isn't from the same store and doesn't match my e-ring and I think that it looks great. And it was a LOT less expensive than the e-ring.

I would continue to look at other, less expensive jewelry stores for a band that would somewhat match. The diamonds in the wedding band will most likely be smaller anyway, so you don't have to worry about the 4 c's.

Breathe Gently said...

Erin, yours sound great - I love the knots in rings, so beautiful.

NSC - sorry, I should've made it clearer; we were looking at the WHITE gold bands as an option. I can't do gold jewelery very well, am too pale for it!

We'll definitely be keeping our eyes open - and it doesn't NEED to match. :) That's just a bonus!

Jess said...

I have man hands too and I love having a wedding band that matches my e-ring because it widens out as a set and balances my hands a bit more. Your ring is gorgeous and personally I think it's worth the investment to get the matching band. I know you could put that money toward other things but you will wear this ring every day for the rest of your life and every day when you look down at the beautiful matching set you will feel happy and sparkly. I always think it's worth spending the extra money up front to get the ring that is really exactly what you want versus spending what is still a sizable chunk of cash on something that is just OK.

Lacey Bean said...

Dave's and my rings don't match. I don't know if you saw both of them when we had dinner, but mine is an eternity band that matches the band of my engagement ring, and Dave's is two-toned white and yellow gold with a small diamond chip. (he is fancy) Pics here!

Abby - Bright Yellow World said...

Well, you know I had this same question on the blog recently... and I still haven't decided! My gut reaction, in my situation, is that I'll get a simple band to match HW's, and move my engagement ring to my right hand. In your case (GAH BEAUTIFUL RING), it sounds like you really really really love the matching band. When you fall that hard in love with something (and you'll be wearing it every day), I say figure out how to afford it and go for it!

Stephanie said...

My engagement ring is a three stone platinum. At the time platinum was not as popular so the wedding bands were hard to find in many styles. We looked forever until I found one that matched it and was what I wanted. My husband's ring doesn't match mine simply bc we have two very different styles. You could always get whatever band you and he want and then engrave a message to each other on the inside. My wedding band was pricey but my perspective is that I am going to wear it every day of the rest of my life as a sign of my love for my husband, so spend on!

Nathan Pralle said...

I don't have a lot of advice on the lady's band, simply because I'm not, but I will say to consider finding a jeweler that will custom-make a band to match your ring; you'd be surprised, depending on the complexity, it may very well be cheaper. All depends on what you want on it. Me, personally, I'd go with something thin that butts up against your e-ring and doesn't detract from it, but that's me.

Regarding men's rings, I highly, HIGHLY recommend 2 things: A) get a "comfort" band (goes by several names) that is essentially a rounded underside that contacts the finger vs. the squared-off version. The thing is, you wear the ring all the time and men often do rough things with their hands. The last thing you need is something square-edged cutting into your finger. B) and this point goes off of the first, avoid stones, embellishments, etc. The man can and WILL scratch the hell out of the band because of the rough things he does and any fancy crap on it is likely to be damaged and/or lost. My band is simple, plain gold, no embellishments, with a comfort shape. I wear it all the time, NEVER take it off, even during heavy construction work or other things, and that means more to me than something that looks impressive but I have to worry about.

Anonymous said...

Our wedding bands don't match one each other. They aren't even made of the same metal. My wedding band had 9 prong set diamonds in platinum to set off my e-ring (solitaire in platinum).
J's is white gold with milgrain edges. (In the comfort band style).
Initially we wanted them to match, but found that didn't work for our individual styles. And it turned out just fine.

Emily Jane said...

I really like matching wedding bands - I wasn't sold on the idea of the one that matched my engagement ring being slightly curved to fit at first but seeing them fit together just made me feel they were perfect!

Also? SO excited for London views. Do I get to see you while I am briefly in London in August??

The Casual Perfectionist said...

We are not traditional in the slightest, so take this with a grain of salt.

I have a platinum and gold Past-Present-Future ring. I wore it as my engagement ring AND my wedding band. The middle stone is diamond and the outer stones are aquamarines (His birthstone is diamond, and my birthstone is aquamarine, and it stands for also wards off poison. Ha! Kidding! Maybe...) ;)

My hubby's ring is a really cool platinum band that we picked out. It's in a matte finish, and the color matches the platinum in my ring, but they are not a "matched set." When he works with heavy and dangerous machinery, he takes it off, but when he's not, he wears it and loves it.

I think you need to go with what makes you feel good and happy. It doesn't have to be the most expensive option. It's supposed to symbolize you and your love, and I'd bet you can find a relatively inexpensive option.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

My friends who just got married had different rings. They were both palladium - they did tell me why they chose that metal, but I can't remember why. His is plain, but hers has a tiny band of diamonds on it, because as she is a nurse she is not allowed to wear her engagement ring at work, so she wanted something glittery to wear all the time. But it looks very pretty.

Not that I have thought about this a lot, being a million miles away from getting married and all, but i would like a plain white gold band, perhaps with an engraving. I'm not into bling bling things. And, like you said, I can think of better things to spend money on.

Operation Pink Herring said...

My wedding band is not a matched set with my engagement ring, but they coordinate. Joel just has a plain platinum band, which also coordinates, but again -- not a matched set.

I am all for wedding thriftiness, but if you are going to splurge on one thing, it should be the band you love. You'll wear your wedding dress once, but you'll wear that ring every day!

Anonymous said...

I opted not to have an engagement ring and have a thin band with little diamonds. Andrew has a tungsten carbide ring and loves it. It's heavy and manly and pretty much indestructible. As for your situation, it sounds like you really, really loved the matching band. What about getting a plain band for now and then upgrading in a few years for an anniversary present? Or, what about having a ring made to match that might have smaller price tag?

Britt said...

Get the band that matches your set. I'm so glad I did (despite all my ring drama) even though it cost way too much.

Fuzzy Cert said...

I think the plain ones would look nice, but they're not going to be an exact match.. not the way the ring designed to match your e-ring would be. I like matching sets. I like it when they look like they're supposed to be worn together.

Sue said...

I agree with Nathan ... if you like the idea of the matching wedding band ... go to a manufacturing jeweller and get a quote for a ring to be made to match.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful ring!

Mrs. Higrens said...

My e-ring and wedding band were both custom, but made by different jewelers. A plain band didn't look right, so we added a few diamonds and the sparkle of the two together blends them into a set, plus when I don't want to or can't wear my e-ring I still have sparkle. :)

DH's ring is totally different - a yellow gold band with platinum overwrap. The platinum has a hammered finish and it's held up really well even with the beating DH has given it.

steph anne said...

Love your ring -- beautiful!! :) I think you should stick with white gold with your e-ring. My husband lost his wedding ring so he's currently wearing a $14 ring until someday when we buy him another ring.

Hilary said...

I think you should go for the band that matches your ring. You are going to be wearing both for a very long time, and you should have exactly what you love. I actually found my band by accident, but it matches my engagement ring perfectly, and I am so glad I splurged. Every time I look at my finger I smile. I did however get married in a plan gold band that matches the one my husband has, so I actually have two. And since he lost and found his original wedding band, he now has two too!

Megan said...

My e-ring is white gold with three stones, and my wedding band is a plain, white gold band. I think, for me, it's perfect. I can see why you'd want something matching, though. I originally wanted a band with diamonds all around it, but opted for the plain ring instead. I'll have to take a picture sometime to show you what it looks like. I like the simplicity of it.

By the way, your e-ring is AMAZING!

Karen said...

Honestly, with such a nice engagement ring I would want to get a matching wedding band. Engagement rings are not really customary in Germany (although I'd love to get one from the right guy) and most couples get very simple wedding rings but I think while it's not necessary to spend ridiculous amounts of money on an engagement ring and wedding band, I would want them to match.

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