Guest Post: Seven Things Married Life Has Taught Me

Today's guest is the super awesome Terra from Terra-Bear.com. She's a photo-taking, dog-loving, to-do list superstar and I absolutely love her blog. Plus, she also loves Harry Potter World, which makes her an automatic favourite of mine.

I’m getting really close to celebrating 3 years of marriage with my sexy-beast of a husband, Andrew. We’re still really new to this whole married thing since 3 years is just a small blip on what I hope will be a very long life spent together, but, to date, I’ve learned a few lessons I’d like to share with the (almost) married Aly:

1. It really is the little things. It’s hugs & forehead kisses. Grocery store bouquets & cheap chocolate. It’s brushing the hair out of my face, notes hidden in coat pockets & tiny, little inside jokes. It’s secret code words and a thigh squeeze during a tumultuous airplane landing. It’s those little things that remind me each day, in between vacations, romantic dinners and anniversaries, why I decided to get married in the first place. Those little moments, gestures and words give the day to day, the seemingly insignificant, a bucketful of meaning.

2. Passionate kisses have magical healing powers. It’s easy to get caught up in other things. Doctor appointments, school work, regular work commitments, social events, dog walking. It’s all got to get done, and sometimes, especially in my life lately, it can all start to feel a bit overwhelming. The remedy? Passionate kisses. Real, true, knock your socks off kisses that make time stand still and everything else fade away. Don’t believe me? Try it. You’ll see.

3. Sometimes yelling helps. I put myself in the camp of people who think a fight, every now and then, is a good thing. Sure, fighting sucks, but sometimes, and this has happened to me on more than one occasion, some little tid bit you didn’t even know was bothering you will burst forth and BOOM. Just like that, you’ll start to feel better because it’s out there in the world and not stuck, waging war, on the inside of your heart. Plus, making up is fun!

4. Time together doesn’t equate to quality time together. Andrew and I spend a lot of time together. We work together and spend almost all of our days together and it’s really, really easy to just assume we’re spending plenty of time together and staying connected to each other and blah blah blah, but guess what? The time we spend at work, or side by side in the car or parked in front of the TV doesn’t count. It’s time together, sure, but without the occasional dinner out or conversation about hopes, dreams or future vacation plans, things start to get a little wonky. Making time to reconnect, even if we spend most of our days together, is mandatory in order to preserve the sanity of our marriage.

5. It’s different. I didn’t expect anything to feel different when Andrew and I got married. We lived together before we got married and everything was already merged and joint before we said “I do.” But, things were different. They shifted, slightly, not even enough for me to notice at first, but, after a few months, I realized things felt more solid. Plus, getting introduced as someone’s wife for the first 100 or so times is really, really awesome.

6. Sometimes the simplest nights are the best nights. Right after Andrew and I got married and moved into our first apartment, the power went out. It was a Friday night and there was little hope we’d get it back on until Monday, even though it was electric company’s fault. But, we made the best of it. We played Uno and Scrabble by candlelight for hours, drinking wine and laughing until our sides hurt, running into furniture in our almost pitch black apartment. It’s one of the best nights we’ve ever had.

7. I never stop learning. Things that work for us one day don’t always work for us the next. I might thing I’ve got my husband all figured out, but, as it turns out, he’s still got stories to tell me, different parts of himself that haven’t even been glimpsed yet. I hope to never have it all figured out.


2 Comments • Labels:  

2 comments:

Britt said...

I've only been married a few months, but I have to agree with your whole list. :) Can't wait to check out more of your blog!

Emily Jane said...

Great post. I took a marriage prep course last weekend and it was all about what makes marriages work - 5 weeks from my wedding I seem to be getting an awful lot of tips on this topic! I LOVED "Just like that, you’ll start to feel better because it’s out there in the world and not stuck, waging war, on the inside of your heart." I'm firmly in the "fights are necessary sometimes" camp as well - I've seen how things go by bottling it up, and I think as long as you get it out there without being disrespectful, sometimes it can make all the difference - you learn why your partner is so passionate about the way they feel, and making up IS fun! :)





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