Last year was a tough year. Losing our first pregnancy, followed by the pregnancy later in the year - it really shattered us.
But this year? This year was even tougher. There was more loss, more disappointment, more frustration. If 2014 was hard, 2015 topped it. This year would have been the toughest one I've faced in my entire 31 years. It's humbling, really. But.. we got through it. I got through it. And that's about the most positive thing I have to say about how it has all progressed.
I'm following the same format as years gone by to keep it simple - (2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 & 2014)
1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before? Lost another pregnancy. Parented a toddler. Had our first overseas family holiday. Swapped IVF clinics. Lost my faith. Sent my little one to daycare.
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I said I was going to be more positive.. and I think I failed. Being knocked down over and over again makes it pretty hard to do. I'll make another one or two, but I won't promise I'll hit them!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes.
The same thing I hoped for this time last year - a healthy pregnancy with no complications. A sibling for G.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Admitting defeat and asking for help. There comes a time when things get too hard, when the struggles are becoming a daily thing, and when my usual coping strategies failed. This year, I realised my limitations & took steps to look after myself - to support myself through a really, really hard time. Keeping it together and being the best parent I can be to my daughter is one of the things I'm the most proud of.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Swapping clinics! I really hoped that after so much disappointment, we'd get lucky this year with our new clinic behind us. It didn't pan out that way, but oh well. I also got to meet my sweet little nephew man. :)
16. What song will always remind you of 2015? Don't Be So Hard On Yourself - Jess Glynne
I'm too old for these questions now, I fear.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having a pregnancy stick around. Being able to watch G growing up with a sibling. Not feeling like the only person who's missing out on things.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015? Summer dresses.
Happy New Year, friends. Props to you all for sticking around through what has arguably been one of the toughest years of my life, and for accepting the hard days along with me. Being able to blog, to share my fears and my disappointments, to help people realise that they're not alone and to be heard; that's a big gift, and it's one that I'll continue to utilise as long as I can.
Thank you for helping me feel less alone.
Thursday, 31 December 2015
8 Comments • Labels: Random Ramblings