6dp3dt = BFN.

I still don't regret doing this pee stick experiment. Seeing one line is never a nice thing, but it's definitely getting a little easier to bear. I realised this morning that I was being a little selfish, that I was doing this for me, so that I would be ok with the event of a failed IVF cycle.

This morning, I sat down with Jase and told him my fears, that I had this horrible feeling we wouldn't be lucky this time time around. He was okay, just gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead and told me not to give up hope.

Yes, it's still early. I'm just... resigned. I can't describe it - I just want this to be over. I want this to be a positive so, so much. I want to be one of those amazingly lucky women who gets her BFP after the first IVF cycle. I want to beat the crappy odds we've had through this cycle, from a rubbish egg pickup, to terrible fertilisation rates, to our one miracle embryo. But, realistically? I can't get fully on board with it. I'm not that person. I don't get lucky like that.

I will keep plugging away. I won't give up hope. But I'll be ready for this massive disappointment, if it comes.

8 Comments • Labels: , ,  


~stinkb0mb~ said...

completely understand your need to pee on sticks - people who don't have never struggled to get pregnant.

i also completely understand WHY you're peeing on sticks too. it's because you want to know but it's also because IF [and that's a big IF, the fat lady hasn't sung yet] it hasn't been successful, it won't come as a massive shock.

as i said the fat lady hasn't sung yet honey and i'm still keeping everything crossed that you're "one of those lucky women" who get knocked up on their first ivf, i truly am.


CBrain said...

Evil statistics ruling our worlds.....I like maths just not when it comes to my uterus. Good luck, not just for the pee sticks but for the emotional journey.

DandelionBreeze said...

Thinking of you and hoping that it's too early... might be a late implanter. Know how you feel about POAS... completely understandable. Love to you always xo

sass @ (In)fertility Unexplained said...

I am still very hopeful for you. It's too early - but that you know. The anxiety during the two week wait is the worst! But you'll make it through. Take care and good luck!

Laura said...

Fingers still crossed for you!

Mrs Green Grass said...

I'm not feeling that optimistic either. This is so hard! : (

I hope we are both wrong.

heidikins said...



Veronique said...


I stumbled here by accident but couldn't help myself from looking at a few posts. Congratulations on your pregnancy!! I'm a 2nd time gestational surrogate and presently at 6dp3dt.. I hope to get a positive pregnancy test soon!!! Good luck :)


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