And now... behold! She grows!
She still has the same crazy brown hair & big blue eyes. I can't wait to see if these stick around as she grows.
It always bothers me when people boast about what an easy baby they have - or on the other extreme, complain about what a tough baby they have. It's not that I don't doubt that their babies are awesome, or challenging, but aren't all babies a little bit of both?
I'd like to think we have a great baby - she's smart, clever, and absolutely beautiful. She has her bad days too, her cranky and sad and overtired days. Does that mean I like her more or less on those days? No way! She's a baby. She's allowed to have her good and her bad days - just like I have them, her dad has them, everyone has them.
Georgia is growing quickly! Her 000 clothes, that she took so long to get into, are starting to grow snug - already. She is cooing and babbling and chuckling, and it melts my heart to see her break into that huge gummy smile.
Sometimes I'm sad to say goodbye to my tiny, helpless newborn - but other days, most days, I'm so excited to see the person she's growing into. I'm biased, I know, but she really does get more beautiful by the day.
Edit: A friend sent me a message {which I appreciate} letting me know that parts of this post came across as being judgemental, and for that I wanted to apologise. Lord knows, that's the last thing I wanted from it. I've felt inferior to many people since becoming a mum, and it's an awful feeling, and I'm sorry.
Lately I've been surrounded by two kinds of people. The boasters {which is all well and good - I get it - we love our kids!} that go on and on about the achievements their kids have made & have little sympathy for us normal folk and our babies. And the complainers - and when I say that, I mean the type that have made their minds up about the fact that their kid is obviously a hindrance, and who don't want, or respond to, the advice and suggestions given by others. These extremes are what make me twitchy: we're all human, can't we just own up to it?
I would never judge anyone who was legitimately struggling, having a rough day, or needing advice. I've been there & I will no doubt be there again. And I hope that those mums, myself included, feel comfortable enough to reach out and ask for that support. I also hope that those people with their wonderfully perfect babies can reach out and offer support and guidance to those mums who aren't so lucky.
Yes, as I mentioned before, I believe Georgia {and myself} to be in a little of both worlds, but I have my days where my Twitter-feed is ablaze with questions I've posed to other, more experienced mums - I'd be lost without them!
Let's face it: there's a LOT I don't know about babies. Including, but not limited to...
- How loud they are when they're asleep. Georgia alternates from sounding like a snuffling miniature warthog, to whimpering quietly in her sleep. Both are very endearing - unless it's 5am.
- How they behave when other people are visiting, but can be little terrors the second you're home alone.
- How hilarious her hairy ears are. {Will this ever go away?}
- How long it takes for me to get out of the house. It's not just shower, grab purse, go. It's shower with screaming child in the bouncer, pack bag while baby sleeps, put bag in car, dress and change baby's nappy, head to the car, get puked on, go back to dress and change baby's nappy again, and so on, and so forth.
- How certain things they do remind you of yourself. Georgia sneezes when she goes outside in the sunlight, like I do, nearly every time.
- How quickly they don't look like newborns anymore.
- How many outfits they can go through in a day. {And this is me counting myself lucky that we don't have an epic puking baby, or a crazy leaking butt baby.}
- How you can spend countless hours of every day acting like an idiot just to try and make them smile. :)
We have been at this parenting gig for three months now. Three months of warm, snuggly baby. Best. Job. Ever.
- Been sleeping through the night. We have a fairly late bedtime (around 10pm) but she lasts through until around 6-7am most of the time. Very happy mama, right here.
- Met up with a few other little babies & bad lots of friends visit her at home.
- Figured out that she has hands - and that they can fit in her mouth.
- Had cuddles with her other Uncle & Aunty from the UK when they came to visit. Very special.
- Started shoving anything and everything into her mouth, and sticking out her tongue to taste things. You know what that means? BABY SLOBBER. She's like a dribbling machine.
- Smiled constantly! It is the most adorable thing ever. She's the smiliest {& chattiest} in the morning - when she first wakes up, after feeds, and during her wide awake time.
- Gone through yet another batch of nappy rash - followed by a pooping strike. The aftermath of that has NOT been pleasant.
- Continued breastfeeding like a champion, mostly with the nipple shields, but occasionally on her own.
- Been growing!! At our last weigh in, she was 5.4kg & 58cm long.
- Officially started wearing size 000 {0-3 month} clothes. Some are still a little baggy, but they fit her well length-wise now.
- Kept on rolling over. She doesn't like tummy time much, and screeches until she flips onto her back.
- Started swatting at & touching her toys. I'm loving the new interest in bright colours & sounds.
- Gotten cuter and cuter by the day!
You can see all of Georgia's week by week pictures by clicking here.
A lot of people assume that once you've had a baby, the sting of infertility melts away. I wish that were true.
Now, don't think for one second that I don't wake up every morning or go to bed each night, not remembering how blessed we are to have Georgia in our lives. Trust me, it's something I will never take for granted.
But hearing pregnancy announcements still feels like a kick in the guts. It's a reminder of something that should have been 'easy', should have just 'happened', was that 'natural' thing that most women can choose to plan.
So many things make me angry. Hearing people complain about it taking so long to conceive - and by 'so long', we're talking two or three months. It's just so unreal: we tried for almost two years, two years that felt like an eternity. And sadly, two years is small fry compared to so many others in the Infertility circles I'm in! Hearing about the OOPS pregnancies. Hearing the complaints and gripes about being pregnant: 'Why am I doing this?' - or worse - 'Why did I choose to do this AGAIN?' They have no idea how lucky they are.
Even people who I would consider close to me can't escape my bitterness. While I'm happy, and glad things have worked out for the best for them, I still feel sad. Why did it have to be us that had the hard slog? Why did we have to pay money, a LOT of money, for a child? Why did we have to go through months of disappointment, of surgical procedures, of loaded negative pregnancy tests, when others can get that BFP without even needing to think?
I'm sad that when it comes time to try for a future baby, we won't be able to 'time it'. We won't be able to try 'when the time is right' or plan for that perfect age-gap between babies. I'm sad that it'll take money, doctors appointments, stress. And I'm nervous that despite all those things, it may not even work.
I'm not an awful person. I'm so thankful to have this little person in my life, that we were able to add to our family of fur-babies with our beautiful baby girl. I just wish people understood that the infertility and the pain doesn't magically disappear after becoming a parent. It still hurts, and it sucks.
This week has been tiring. Baby girl sleeps beautifully at night, but gives me tiny catnaps during the day - and most of those are in my arms. I don't mind, but it does make it hard to get anything done around here! :)
She's snoozing in my arms as I write this, actually. Hubby left again this morning, so it's just us girls for a few days. The forecast here is cold & wet - which means snuggling under the blankies with this gorgeous girl.
You'd hardly think that this gorgeous little face was in the middle of a challenging wonder week, would you?
Amidst all the hard stuff though, she is learning so much! She flips from her tummy to her back pretty quickly now. She grabs objects and gives them a cuddle. She has figured out her tongue exists, and has started shoving things into her mouth. Best of all, she recognises me! Every morning when she wakes up grizzling in her cradle, I hover over her & tell her good morning and oh, the smiles. Her whole little face lights up. I'll never get tired of this.
And, she's growing! Four weeks ago, at 7+2 days, Georgia weighed in at 4.630kg. Yesterday, at 11+2 days, she weighed 5.265kg. That's a rate of 150g on average per week. Makes me feel better that my little one is getting what she needs from me, especially since our feeding journey has been pretty darned difficult.
She still feels quite petite for her age, but she's healthy and thriving & has the yummiest little arm and leg rolls that you could seriously devour. I wish it were summer time, so I could have her in short suits all the time!
Georgia is 10.5 weeks old. I have two grey hairs. I have no idea if these two things are related or not! ;)
Speaking of hair, oh my gosh. I thought I'd maybe escaped the dreaded post-partum hair loss epidemic, but nope, not immune. I have no idea how I have any hair left, what with the amounts I've been shedding in the shower. If only all of my hair was falling out at that rate; it'd be nice not to have to worry about shaving my legs!
Georgia has been dribbling like crazy these past few days. I automatically assumed that drooling babies = teething, so panicked, thinking her teeth were coming out early. I've run my fingers over her gums and can't see anything, so hopefully we're safe there for a while longer. The dribbling has coincided with her hands finding her mouth constantly, so it might be that. I already have a Sophie the Giraffe toy ready for her for the future months, but gave it to her early - she's been chowing down on poor Sophie's head already!
We're still solely breastfeeding at the moment - it's been a struggle, but I'm happy with how we're going. Georgia feeds on the breast during the day, and we give a top-up bottle just before bed, to encourage her to have a good sleep. Touch wood, but it seems to be going well for us so far. I pump twice a day - morning and bedtime. I don't get a lot, but I'm not as worried about the amounts, especially now that I have a freezer stash I can start working through.
Hubby gets back from New Zealand trip #2 tonight. We're hopefully going out for dinner tomorrow night, just the two of, for our belated 2-year anniversary. (It was yesterday, while he was away. I spent it with a screaming baby.) It'll be the first time we go out since Georgia was born - aside from a trip to the dentist a few weeks ago, which absolutely does NOT count as couple time, ugh. I'm actually looking forward to it; I'm drained after this single parenting gig, and I've really missed Jase. Plus, her grandparents are itching to get their hands on her for the night!
Georgia is now 10 weeks old - double digits. TEN WEEKS OLD. Practically a lady!
This past week, we had our first stint at single parenting: just us girls at home. Hubby has a new project starting in New Zealand, so will be back & forth a few days at a time for the next few weeks. Last week he was gone Tues-Thurs; this week it's from Sun-Wed.
He's been back at work for several weeks now, but it's different having her full time. I didn't realise how much I enjoyed having him get home from work & take her off my hands for cuddles - that was my break time! We even have a bit of a bedtime routine down; he bathes & dresses her, while I get her pj's ready and feed her, before getting her to sleep. Doing it all on my own was harder than I imagined it would be. :)
As challenging as it is for me to get used to, I really don't mind. She's good company & I love spending time with her. And it's just as challenging for Jase - I know how much he hates being away from her, especially when she's this little. We chat on Skype in the evenings, and I send him random pictures to make him smile.
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