It's almost Christmas time! As I sit here and look at my slightly neglected blog - sorry, blame the baby! - the tree is flickering in the background and the decorations are up.. I keep thinking about what a year it's been.

This time last year, I was in a bad place. I was excited for the season, because I adore experiencing it through Georgia's eyes, but I was completely ready for the year to be over. I had just had my third miscarriage, and we were no closer to expanding our family. I spent December exploring other options for us, and my hopes were very low.

Little did I know that just the following month, we would see another positive pregnancy test, one that would stay, and grow, and develop into the tiny human who is snoring in her bouncer at my feet.

This Christmas, our family grew by two feet. This beautiful girl, she's the miracle I dreamed for last year - a sidekick for Georgia, a partner in crime. Claire is a gift, that's for sure. I'm so excited to be here.

I'm cherishing whatever time is left with this girl as our only child. All the feelings.. I has them. I'm an emotional wreck!

She's so excited for what's to come - and I love seeing her interact with my belly, and tell everyone all about it. But she has no idea how much her world is going to change - and let's face it, neither do we. This is BIG.

For three and a half years, she's been our whole world. For a very large part of that, she was very well going to be it - not for lack of trying, but just because of the heartache of infertility and pregnancy loss. Getting to the stage where things looked good, where we could share the news of a sibling with her - that was a magical moment. Magical, but scary.

I always wanted children close together in age, and it was one of the things I really struggled with after we miscarried Noah - they would have been two years apart, almost to the day.

Now though? I'm grateful for all the time I've had with this little human - who's growing up so much every day. I've had three and a half years of firsts with her, and those are things I'll never forget.

The last few days, her personality has shifted a little; she's over-excited, acting out a bit, just not her usual self. My mum tells me that was something that happened with me as a child just before my brother was born - that they sense that something is changing, and get a bit overwhelmed.

I hope that while her world is rocked, it's rocked in a good way. We'll all be learning together! :)

I can't believe it will be Christmas in 11 days time.

We're somehow already halfway through a new month.. and I don't know how it happened, to be honest. At the rate this year is going, it'll be Christmas before we can blink.

So what have we been up to?

• In cycle news, I finally got a bleed a few days ago after the egg retrieval stim/freeze all. It took almost a whole two weeks to arrive, but it was a doozy when it eventually got here. Now I'm back on the pill for a cycle to ensure my ovaries calm the hell down. Frustrating, but what can you do?
• We've been outdoors! The weather has gone from Winter to Spring REALLY fast, and Georgia & I have been out with Spencer loads. She loves the backyard, it's hard to get her indoors again most days.
• Hopefully planning a few days away. We are all pretty burnt out over here with all the stuff that's been going down... so hopefully, if work allows it, we'll go away for a few days and have a bit of a break.
• Deliberating making our front room - currently a hardly used formal lounge - into a playroom for G. It'd mean a lot less clutter in the back room, and would give her a space to play in of her own. The downside? Getting rid of our lounges, figuring out a way to block off the staircase, and an Ikea trip for some storage cupboards for toys. This might end up being a bigger project than we thought..!

Partners in crime!

Little miss almost-2.5 is in a 'testing our patience' phase right now.

Parents, I'm sure you'll know the phase I mean; deliberately doing something naughty (usually in slow motion) while watching you like a hawk to see how you react. Or doing something she's not supposed to and then running at top speed out of the room. Just general cheeky stuff that she knows we don't want her doing.

I've always liked the 1-2-3 form of reinforcement, because it gives them a chance to react/change their behaviour - it's what we were encouraged to use while teaching in primary school. It seems to work better on older kids though, because we've gotten to 3 here plenty of times... so she hasn't quite grasped the concept of it yet.

I know persistence is the key. We'll keep working on it. Especially the 'what comes after 3' part.

But dude.... how hard is it not to laugh when you're trying to be serious? Especially when she does something cute, pulls a face, kisses your knee, lets out a fart; anything to make Mummy happy again. Toddlers, man.

Written as part of Microblog Mondays @ Stirrup Queens

It's so many things. It's:

• Loud. All the time. SO LOUD. The singing, the chattering, the yelling, the screeching. 
• Dramatic. The world is ending on an hourly basis in our household. Fed her the wrong breakfast cereal? Put the wrong socks on her? Asked her to wait five seconds for something? OH MY GOD NO. She's mastered the art of throwing herself face down on the nearest surface and wailing.
• Snuggly. I didn't think the snuggles could beat those early years, but toddler hugs? They're a beautiful thing. When she willingly chooses to wrap her little arms around your neck and cling on, or climbs into your nap to nuzzle in for a cuddle - those are the moments I never thought I'd experience as a mum, and make me so happy.
• All about the food! My kid has a bottomless pit in lieu of a stomach right now - seriously, she puts away more food in a day than me. Two breakfasts, snacks throughout the day, a thoroughly hearty lunch and dinner - she is a machine. Must be all the running around all day long.
• Messy! If it's not related to the aforementioned food, it's boogers, or mud, or craft stuff. Or heck, even while in the BATH, we make a mess. Life is short... it's fun to get messy.
• Time outdoors. Even though it's the middle of winter down under, outside is where her heart lies - so that means rugging up & playing in the sunshine. Spencer loves it! I'm so glad that we have a backyard that's perfect for exploring and playing.
• Mine, MINE MINE MINE. Everything is hers. Sharing is something we're working on - but so far failing miserably. I wish that I could help her to understand; for now, we'll keep plugging away.. with plenty of apologies to her little friends when she snatches and grabs and runs away with all of her 'stuff'. 
• The best. This kid is my whole world and I love her guts. :)

I'm excited to see where life takes you, kiddo. You are already so determined, you grab my hand and lead me around to where you want to go and what you want to see. There is so much in store for you & we can't wait for you to discover it.

So much of this blog has focused on our efforts in adding to the family - but not today. Today it's all about my girl. My GROWN UP girl, who I swear I just gave birth to five minutes ago. How is she two already?!?

Her birthday is today, but her party was yesterday. She came downstairs to find the place decorated & best of all.. balloons! As a 1 year old, she couldn't care less about them - but this year, they brought her so much joy. She must have spent half an hour running around in her pyjamas that morning, chasing balloons around the house.

We had a fairly big party last year, where I went all out with a rainbow theme & we had fun celebrating with family, old friends & new friends from parenthood - but this year, we kept it simple.

I love it when gatherings are just... easy. Despite the actual chaos of cleaning house & preparing everything, the day itself was great. I'm lucky to have great helpers who could assist if we needed it, and hubby manning the barbeque - but all in all, I couldn't have asked for a better day for her! :)


She was very spoiled & I feel so lucky to have so many people around who love her and have watched her grow from a teeny tiny baby to this gorgeous, dramatic, opinionated, funny little girl.

Two years ago, this beautiful baby girl surprised us all by deciding today was her birthday. Two years on, and she continues to surprise us every day. I've never been happier than when I've been your mama, Georgia. We love you so much. xx

My brain is a big old mess right now - so I'm resorting to bullet points to help me organise the chaos.

• This TWW is dragging, like they all do. Today is 4dp5dt but I'm taking that with a grain of salt. You guys saw the embryo; even though it was a day 5 transfer, the emby itself was a lot slower than that. I suppose I'd be smart to keep this in mind when I start the pee-stick obsessions.
  
• I'm still feeling less than hopeful. Hubby is being positive, as always, telling me I have a good track records of transfers working (but not staying) - but they were all proper blasties.
  
• I have cheapy sticks to pee on this month. After wasting countless $$ on First Response tests over the last few transfers, I'm feeling frugal this time around. No expensive sticks unless a smidgen of a line shows up on an el-cheapo.
  
• It's Georgia's birthday next weekend. My baby is 2. Am in total denial that this is happening.
  
• This kid is AWESOME. She's chatting a lot more lately, and has the cutest little munchkin voice ever. She's learning her manners, and can say please ("thease, mama") and thank you, but will NOT say I love you. She laughs when we suggest it... cheeky monkey.
  
• She's a total dare devil. Current favourites are throwing herself backwards in a free fall on the lounge and running at a million miles an hour. Gives us heart attacks constantly!
  
• Speaking of Georgia, she's been in the wars lately. She's been fighting with her two year molars, and then caught a virus and has been sick as a dog for the last week. We're at the tail end now, but bronchitis and a round of antibiotics + a nasty cough has kicked our butts. The amount of times she's coughed so much, she's puked... ugh. We're all tired.
  
• It seems like she's trying to pass her sickness on to us. Hubby is down, my throat is scratchy!
  
• But I've been sick in three out of the four last TWW's after transfers... ho hum.
  
• I'm an AUNTY! My brother and SIL have welcomed a little boy into their family. No name yet, and he's spending some time in the NICU for his breathing, but we're overjoyed he's here safely.
  
• I can't believe that I would have been welcoming a little boy myself too. Makes me a bit sad that we won't have little boys running around and growing up together, but it just wasn't meant to be.

We officially survived our first family holiday - and had an amazing time. Fiji - you guys - it's beautiful.

It has to all turn out okay eventually.. right?

The days are starting to speed up, and my little girl is almost a year old - I am SO not ready for this!

We're still commando crawling, but not much else - but that's ok. She's a happy kid, who is beautiful and funny and smart, and will NOT be walking on her first birthday. I hate that I've spent several of the past months comparing her to other babies, and I hate that deep down I still feel sad that she's behind in those respects; milestones can kiss my arse. Instead, I'm focusing on her growing up and enjoying what she can do.

The more I look at her photographs or watch her playing independently, the more I see a little girl, not a baby. It's bittersweet; I miss the baby stage so much, but I love this new stage too. Listening to her talk to herself, to us, to the cats, it's hilarious. She waves to anyone who says hi/bye to her, and is fascinated with books - turning the pages, blabbing away and feeling the textures in those touchy/feely novels. She's adorable.

I'm going to enjoy this fleeting last month of babyhood - but I'm also looking ahead. I'm so very excited to teach this little girl the ways of the world and watch her discover new things every day.

I hate baby milestones.

I was SO pleased that our sleep training had gone well last week. Five days in, and Georgia was able to get herself off to bed in her cot - sure, it took a while & I was still in the room {out of sight} but she was doing it! We even had our first sleep through again for the first time in months.

But then, things went haywire. Hubby got home from his interstate trip, and we got sick. It started with Georgia skipping her afternoon nap - which turned into up every hour, on the hour, and not much sleep for any of us. After that came more nap skipping & screaming like a banshee constantly. It's so heartbreaking to see all the good efforts you've made go flying out the window, when you're doing practically everything exactly the same.

I was at a loss - until I saw a little flash of white. Yep, I now know the culprit for all this chaos - her second tooth is jigging around under there, and hasn't yet cut through. Bloody teeth!

This time, we're well armed. Panadol, Nurofen, Bonjela & SM-33 creams. Lots of cuddles and a whole lot of deep breaths & patience. I'm hoping she'll get this tooth quickly, because the last few days have been a nightmare.

Every night before bed, we follow a similar routine with Georgia.

If hubby is home, he starts it off with a bath - otherwise, it's all me. After the bath, we have a massage on the change table, get her dressed, and read her a book. Then we nurse & follow up with a top up bottle of expressed milk.

And before I put her into bed, while rocking her to get her drowsy, I tell her a few things - I love you, time for bed, night night - and this:

The last time I showed you a week by week post, I stopped at Week 15 - but the weeks have flown by since then. This post shows off my gorgeous girl from Week 16-27. Here's the first few weeks for comparison:

Other than that, things have been fairly quiet around here. Lots of time spent with hubby while he's been working from home - watching Georgia fall in love with her daddy is just gorgeous. I don't want to jinx things, but she's been so good with other people lately, lots of smiles and cheerful chats. I hope that continues.

Our nights have been getting better, and we're plugging away at the day sleeps. She is well and truly into size 00 and the hot weather has let me experiment with short sleeved/legged rompers and suits - loving being able to get those thighs into the sunlight. This age is fantastic. And I'm sure it's only going to get better!