Sorry for the radio silence - I've spent my last few days resting and recuperating and am finally starting to feel better. Also... my jeans fit! Huzzah for the bloat going down! :)

I've still not had a post egg-retrieval period/bleed yet, so I'm hanging out for that so that we can consider this cycle officially over. Our previous FS wanted us to do Letrozole afterwards to 'force' a short cycle like we did after our last stim - but all that resulted in was a huge ovarian cyst and months of stuffing around - and I am NOT going down that road again. Instead, I plan on going back on the pill for a cycle to shrink these sore ovaries back down to their normal size and give everything a break.

In the meantime the paperwork has been sent off to our new clinic to get the ball rolling with transferring our embryos between clinics. I'm not entirely sure how long the process takes, so I'm hoping the sooner it's organised, the better.

All in all, I don't have a lot of feelings right now. We're resigned to more waiting (again) and it's so disappointing.. when you want something so badly, or have been trying everything you possibly can try for so long; having it constantly out of your grasp is really challenging. We have Georgia keeping us busy though, so I'm sure the time will fly by.

(Hahahahaha... a girl can dream, right?)

We managed to get 10 eggs at retrieval yesterday, so that was a nice surprise. We were hoping for 6-8, so there must have been some last minute growth over the past few days.

It's official, this cycle has been another bust.

Last Thursday: E2 was 1015 and P4 was 4.1. (Why did they not tell me?)
Yesterday: E2 was 7900 and P4 was 6.3.

If you can remember back to our last failed fresh cycle and freeze all, the cut off for having a transfer is a progesterone level of less than 5. We're even higher this cycle than last time, despite being assured by our FS that we would likely be 'just fine' this time around. Apparently not.

After finding out that we have to freeze all the embryos retrieved, we went about ensuring that this time around they would grow them all out to day 5, instead of freezing at day 1 like happened last time. We had brought this worry up with our specialist at our appointment a few weeks ago, and were under the impression that yes, it was something we could bring up with the scientists, should the need arise. Imagine our surprise yesterday when we were bluntly informed that no, we would only be allowed to freeze at day 1, as this is clinic policy. No way around it, no changing her, or the clinic's mind. She has completely gone back on her word. Disappointed and frustrated is an understatement. I am LIVID.

We are so upset about this cycle that we talked about cancelling completely before retrieval - just taking the trigger, getting the majority of our money back, and just letting these eggs go. It would save us the heartache of potentially months of agony fighting our current clinic to get to a frozen transfer, and to grow out these embryos - what we were trying to avoid.

We ended up speaking to our new clinic (who we will be switching to for future cycles) and they've encouraged us not to waste these eggs. They've offered us the option of having whatever we retrieve/fertilise/end up having frozen, transferred over to their clinic, so we never have to make use of our current clinic again.

So, we're going with that option. Trigger tonight, retrieve our eggs, and wait to see what happens with fertilisation and freezing. We'll then sign the forms to give permission to send our embryos to our new clinic, take our mandatory rest cycle off, and go from there.

What a shambles, eh?

For now, I'm focusing on one day at a time... devastated to be denied a fresh transfer once again, but at least looking forward to getting these eggs out of me, because I am uncomfortable and ready to be done with IVF #4. I can't believe how these things just keep going from bad to worse, but there has to be a reason for all this, surely.

Today's ultrasound showed some lovely follicles. We're looking at 7 measurable ones for retrieval late this week, which is what we were aiming for - a nice happy medium over 3 and less than 13!

I'm to take the stim drugs again in the morning, trigger tomorrow night & have egg collection Thursday morning.

I was really pleased... until they told me that, once again, my worst fears are coming true: my progesterone levels taken last week were already 4.1, so there is a very likely chance that this cycle is going to be another freeze all.

I just don't understand why this keeps happening?

We're now waiting on a phone call later this afternoon to confirm what the progesterone has done during this morning's blood test - but once again, I am totally devastated. I was so looking forward to a fresh transfer, and I was feeling a lot more positive about starting again and having a real shot at this.

I had my first bloods taken yesterday, where they presumably check on the E2 and P4 levels, and haven't heard anything since - which means carry on as per normal. They wouldn't normally ring unless something was wrong, so I'm hopeful that means that things are progressing at a steady pace. That's what we want: not too fast, and not too slow. Fingers crossed.

In any case, my dose is still the same: 187.5 of Puregon + 250 of Orgalutran. In my last stim cycle, I'd already had a scan done by now & had a rough idea of how many follicles were growing. This time, my scan isn't booked until Monday - so I have NO idea what's going on in there!

I'm hoping for a reasonable bit of growth this time around. As excited as I was for more eggs (13 retrieved, 8 fertilised) last time around, that turned out to be my worst IVF cycle yet. My lowest-number cycle (3 retrieved, 3 fertilised) was our best, with Georgia & our two miscarriages - so quantity isn't always the way to go. I'd be thrilled with a nice happy medium of maybe 7-8 with good fertilisation and good growth. Trying not to be too greedy here but I'm also trying to be positive, so... fingers crossed.

My belly is sore from the shots, as always - it's the Orgalutran that stings and throbs the most. I'm feeling a little fuller & have gained a bit of weight, but nothing like the discomfort of last time. There are still a few more days of jabs to go, so we'll see what happens over the weekend.

Anyone else stimming along with me? :)

I started jabbing with Gonal-F yesterday - surprise!