My fluke cycle ended in AF last night, so today is CD1 - starting fresh! I'm upset about the negative, even though I've known for several days that it wasn't going to miraculously change; but I'm focusing on the positive. My cycle was 30 days long, with a 14 day luteal phase. That's pretty darned impressive for a non-ovulator. I suppose I should thank the Clomid for doing what it was supposed to do for the first time ever. :)

It's a new cycle - hello to my lovely ICLW friends. Our plan this month is to use Letrozole {aka Femara} from days 2-6, hopefully bring on ovulation - and then delve head first into our first ever frozen IVF cycle. We've never done a FET before; our first two rounds of IVF were full stim rounds. We have two little frosties on ice from Georgia's cycle, and I really hope we get as lucky with one of those. I have an appointment at my clinic on Monday to have a blood test, and chat with the nurses. I'm excited to have a plan of action.

My little lady and I have been on our own the last few weeks, and will be for another week or so. She's pretty good company, but has had some rough nights - I blame teething, these blasted molars need to get on with it already. It's those moments where I really miss {and appreciate} how good hubby is with her when he's home. When she's fed, bathed & in bed, I can relax.. and I am so, so tired. All in all, we're doing okay. She's a great kid!


What's on the cards for you, this current cycle? :)

I know, I said I wouldn't get my hopes up - but I did, of course I did.

My chart went up, and up, and up! And so did those hopes. Unfortunately, the pee sticks have been negative - even today at 12dpo. Here's where it is currently.

It's so silly to be so completely gutted - but I really thought we would get lucky. I ovulated, we timed it perfectly, the temps & CM all looked fantastic, and yet here we are again.

Thank goodness we have a plan to do more IVF next month, or I would have been completely devastated. I mean, it's no bed of roses or anything, but it's something in place to move forward, you know?

Now to wait for AF - and hope she doesn't keep me waiting too long. :(

Hubby left to go overseas the day after I 'ovulated' - so the timing was JUST right. It probably means nothing, and our chances of a natural conception are slim to none {me ovulating is just part of the package deal of our infertility} but it feels so lovely to have at least a normal looking chart. It'll be interesting to see what day my period shows up, as I don't know what's normal for me, not having periods naturally very often.

Even though I'm mentally preparing for a negative and for AF to arrive, I'm secretly still hopeful. It's a big old tease, the hope: it just dangles the idea of a miracle pregnancy in front of your nose and waves it slightly every time you decide to give up. A good friend of mine, who has recently become pregnant with her own long-awaited miracle baby, told me that 'hope is what keeps our insides churning' - and she's right. It's there, and it's making the days go by faster; especially when hubby is away and I'm on solo parenting duties.

And you know, even if it's a negative - I'll be sad, but I'll be okay. It's a little like the pregnancy announcements that I've been drowning in for the past few months - it hurts, but it calms down. Either way, hopefully in a few short weeks, I'll be able to start my frozen cycle & get the ball rolling.*

*Even still - oh man, please please please keep your fingers and toes crossed for me!

Last Mother's Day, I was learning the ropes with a happy 6-week old Georgia. We finger painted, we got VERY messy, and we had a lovely day together, and with my Mum/her Nanna.

Twelve months on, and I still can't believe that this girl is mine - 13 month old gorgeous girl. How quickly this past year has gone. How much she, and I, have grown! I'm still learning the ropes, I think I always will be - but I'm a lot more confident that we can get through it together, now.

And if you were wondering, we still finger painted. And TOE painted! ;) When is this mama ever going to learn? Nothing like getting a little messy - all in the name of handmade gifts.Thank goodness for the bath!

I am so, so glad that I decided to take monthly onesie photos of Georgia. I love how they turned out, I love watching her grow and seeing how she changed from month to month. Even though I always figured I'd stop by the time she turned one, I saw that the stickers continued in her theme up until 24 months, and, well, I couldn't resist!

As a change from the emotional craziness that has surrounded me over the last few weeks, how about a little fertility update instead? After ten days of Provera, AF arrived last week - and it wasn't as horrible as I had anticipated. It arrived over the Easter weekend; coincidence? Fate? Either way, hormones + chocolate = win! Win win win. Especially the half price Easter eggs marked down after the weekend. Great for the soul, bad for the waist.

While we were having difficulties falling pregnant with Georgia, I was pretty open about how I was coping. I blogged, I posted on a variety of forums, and I found a bunch of like-minded women who I could open up to, and share my thoughts/advice with. I honestly don't know that I could have gotten through the whole process without them.

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard someone say that their friend/sister/cousin/next-door-neighbour fell pregnant naturally after they went through IVF, I'd be a millionaire. Seriously people, IT DOESN'T HELP. And it's certainly not going to happen for us. Thanks, though. ;)

Enough of that though; let me give you a brief update of where we are.

I breastfed Georgia for 12 months. Can you believe it? After all the struggles we had at the beginning, the feeding issues in the special care nursery, the 3-hourly pumping and then subsequent feed/pump/sleep cycles we had for months afterwards - we made it to the one year mark. I'm really proud of how far we made it. We had a pretty good routine of four feeds a day/night {morning, mid-morning, afternoon, bedtime} for several months, so I gradually started dropping her feeds, one at a time, over the weeks. By her first birthday party, we had weaned completely.

I'm so pleased with how it went. We have gone directly from breast milk + solids, to solids + whole cows milk. No bottles, no formula - just cows milk in straw cups. She's done so very well. My boobs had a few odd days of soreness/fullness, but thankfully no mastitis or blocked ducts. Man, have they disappeared now though. Flat boozies.

That said, there was another reason why I wanted to wean. I've had no cycle at all since Georgia was born, apart from the normal post-birth bleeding. No ovulation, no AF - nada. Nothing. Which makes TTC for a future sibling just a little bit hopeless, though not for lack of trying. I've been using OPK strips to see if anything has been happening, and it's not been good. My body, whether it's still suppressed from the nursing, is NOT playing ball. Let's face it; we all know it isn't the breastfeeding that's stalled it; it's my dodgy PCOS ovaries once again.

An appointment was made, a fertility specialist visit was conducted - and we're starting to get things moving again for the coming months. First things first, induce a period. Ah progesterone, I've missed you. {NOT.} Hopefully in the next few weeks, I'll get that sorted. Then it's bloods, scans, monitoring, another induced AF. Sometime, maybe June or July? We'll have more actual plans in place.

Until then, it's all about Georgia. My sweet, adorable Georgia. She's all sorts of incredible! More updates soon. :)

One of my favourite things to do is look around for bargains when it comes to baby products; but there are certain areas where I'm as equally interested in safety as I am in price. One of those products is the trusty car seat. With the Target focus being on all things baby this April, there were plenty of fun options for me to choose from; but I decided to be practical & smart with my shopping choices & focus on travel + transport.

So; let's talk car seats. For me, there are a few things that are of utmost importance: safety, comfort, size & durability. I remember being completely overwhelmed by the choices out there back when I was pregnant with Georgia - for a newbie parent, it's hard not to let the selections get the better of you.

When she was a littl'un, we decided to forgo the stroller/capsule scenario & head straight into the convertible car seat. For us, the reasons were pretty simple: we wanted to get the most use out of it as possible. Most capsules only last until bubs are 6 months old, or they outgrow them in length. The convertible car seats can be used from birth until approximately 4 years of age; for us, that made more sense in the long run. Car seats that are rear facing {which is recommended for a minimum of 6 months in Australia} are safe and well padded, and the reclined feature certainly made it easy for bub to get comfy & settle in.

Funnily enough, we chose a Target-branded car seat way back in those early days, long before I became a Target blog-hubber. We ended up with the Mother's Choice 'Mystique' Convertible Car Seat. I still remember how tiny she looked the first time she was in it; she looks a good bit different in there now! {Nom... feet.}

For safety reasons, we plan on keeping her rear-facing for as long as possible. She's also a bit of a shorty, so her shoulders still fall behind the warning levels. That said, we'll be turning her around in the next few months, so I wanted to make sure she was in the best possible seat when that happens. And while there is nothing on the cards as yet, we'd love to start planning ahead for Baby #2; so it seemed like the perfect time to look at our options for getting a second seat; with a focus on forward facing comfort. After looking at several options at Target, including the Safe and Sound, Mother's Choice & Hipod brands, today we purchased the Hipod 'Cairo' Convertible Car Seat.

This seat looks wonderfully comfortable; it's well padded, and can similarly be used from birth as a rear facing seat, or later on a forward facing seat. The reason we chose the Hipod came down to a few features that I liked;

• It has the opportunity to be used as both a rear or forward facing seat - so we can use it for Georgia now, and for a future sibling further down the line
• It has more seatbelt slots; meaning it will last longer than our current car seat as Georgia gets taller. 
• It has wing-like cushioning, which will shield children well in either mode; piece of mind for bumpy trips.
• It's not too big; it's quite a narrow seat, and should fit nicely in my small hatchback car.
• It is able to be reclined slightly in forward facing mode; this will assist Georgia when she adjusts to being turned around, as well as providing slightly more comfort by not sitting completely upright.
• It's made of wipeable material; NOT velour or suede. Babies are messy and sweaty creatures. Having a car seat that can be easily cleaned, and wouldn't cause bub to be sweaty, was VERY important.