She stole my Heart and my Cat.

If there is one thing I love most about my family, it would be their sense of humour. My dad has a typical 'dad' sense of humour, with fantastically terrible jokes that most people usually groan at. My mum has a similar attitude to me, she loves snark and finds most things amusing. My brother is hilariously annoying, and usually has a quick answer for everything.

Sadly, I'm probably the least humourous out of everyone, but that doesn't stop me from jumping in with lame one-liners when I can. I try.

We're especially fond of quoting movies. Terribly lame movies. Movies that most people have never even heard of, or think are just woeful. And one of our long-time favourites, would have to be So I Married An Axe Murderer.

I mean honestly, what could be better than stupid poetry, bad Scottish accents and hilarious dialogue. It didn't win any Academy Awards, but it has carved out it's own special niche in our DVD cabinet, that's for sure. And as I'm thoroughly recommending you check it out, it's only fair that I leave you with some random quotes to make you curious ...

Alcatraz Guide: My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me Vicki.

Stuart Mackenzie: Alright, we have a piper who's down. It's alright, he's just pissed. We have a piper down, I repeat, a piper is down!

Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.

Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass!

Charlie Mackenzie: I'm smitten. I'm in deep smit.

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~Kathryn~ said...

that would actually be a HUGE PILLA !!! must be said in the correct accent

Sarah said...

It looks like a grapefroot on a toothpick! (LOL!)

Teacher A said...

ORANGE on a toothpick!

Kristabella said...

Heehee. I'm in a deep smit.

I should probably see this movie.

Lisa said...

I must see this movie. And here I thought I've seen every last bad movie on earth.

Nathan Pralle said...

"Away and go with ya mudder, a'right? And while ye there, why don't you try one of her bras on, ya wee gael? Float away, ya fairy."

I never saw it until I was probably 28 or so (I was in a closet, apparently, for 99% of my life) but love it. Very quoteable.

Chris said...

This will horrify you - I've never seen it.

Lia said...

". . . but everyone calls me Vicki". Awesome.

Ree said...

And he's right about the Colonel!

grungedandy said...

Hey it's the best way to check if someone is on your wave length, just shout out a random quote from a film/tv show you like & if they get the comeback or the joke then your friends/geeks for life!

some of my favs

this phone has no eleven
i know fung foo
i've got some f**king jaffa cakes in my pocket
were you born this big a pain in the ass?
where's Buffy when you need her?
Vanquish demon first, kill husband later!

Michelle said...

apparently i need to see this movie.

the premise sort of reminds me of serial mom though.

Kat said...

I do that with other weird movies as well. Quotes I use from the movie XXX with Vin Diesel:

" I don't play this game"
"The things I am gonna do for my country"

and many more :)

Laurel said...

So I Married An Axe Murderer is HILARIOUS!!

Meats of the World!

natalie said...

It's like an orange ATOP a toothpick, I thought. Highly quotable movie. And I think you are pretty darn funny, so I'd really like to meet your family if you're not lying about them being funnier.

Noelle said...

He's going to cry himself to sleep on his enormous pilla!

Chiada said...

Okay, okay, sorry for all that. But that is one of my all time favorite movies. "S-A-TUR-DAY NIGHT!" Thanks for making me laugh this morning.

Chiada said...

"I am an undercover cop trying to look hip."

"Being electrocuted!"

"I want a 1" thick New York strip steak. No more, no less. Now lemme get it and lemme get out of here!" *stare*

"Nobody is supposed to be in this room when this note has been written and placed on the desk!"

" 'Pregnant man gives birth. That's a fact.' "

"A juice ti-guh"

"The Queen, The Vatican, The Gettys, The Rothschilds, AND Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee BEADY eyes, and that smug look on his face. "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"


Britt said...

My cat is affectionately named 'The Colonel."

And he even has wee beady eyes!

Hayley said...

I *Love* that movie.

nancypearlwannabe said...

I love when he calls Harriet a "hard-hearted harbinger of haggis". Ha! Hilarious! I made Chris watch it with me in February and he did not share my same amusement... maybe you had to see it in the 90's first?

heidikins said...

Haha! I love this movie!! I watched it for the first time with my older brother and his girlfriend - they were teenagers, so I was probably 5 or 6. I must admit, most of the humor was lost on me at the time, but I have more than made up for it since. :o)

"Excuse me? I ordered the LARGE capuccino! Hello!"

Leslie said...

HEAD! Paper, NOW!

Marmite Breath said...

God, this is the best movie. In fact, when you listed something on another post and put (on his huge pillow) I was just like, "OMG, Axe Murderer!"

Some of Mike Meyer's best work.

Pat Connor said...

Oh my days! What a family yours is. Would love to see the movie though.

Nemzeti Sport said...

Oh yeah, a happy family stays forever because they can make fun out of the ups and downs which typically happens in a family.. So far, I have watched that movie and it was really great.

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