(Way too) Early Morning Musings.

When it comes to relationships, I would like to think of myself as a pretty mellow girlfriend. I don't think I'm clingy. I don't think I'm obsessive. I think I'm pretty patient. I can watch football with the best of them. I'm all for some alone time, for myself and for my partner. Sure, I have my flaws and insecurities like everyone else, but all in all, I think overall I'm pretty okay.

Take this whole England situation, for example. (A brief summary for any new readers; the plan is that Jason is heading over to the UK in August, and I'll fly over to join him in January of next year.) Yes, I'm apprehensive about it all but when it comes down to it? I'm supportive. I know the reasons behind his leaving so early. I know it's for 'us' in the long run and that I'll join him eventually and that everything happens for a reason.

It's going to be horrible without him here for five-six months. I can't even begin to imagine how weird it will be not being able to see him whenever I feel like it, I can't even comprehend the thought of us being a 'long distance relationship' yet. But as scary as it all is right now and will be in the future, deep down I know that it will all be okay. I understand how things are happening, and I'm comfortable with them.

I'm happy taking a risk, and ultimately doing all of this together.

So . . . the question is this:

Why does the fact that Jason has already recieved his UK working visa in the mail as of today, terrify the bloody pants off me?

[Cue ghost feelings of paranoia, worry and overwhelming loneliness.]


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