Correspondence to a Canteen.

Dear School Canteen,

Let me begin by thanking you for providing me with lots of fantastically fattening meals in the past, and for helping me fill up many a lunchtime with me stuffing my face. You also contributed to my fat stores, which have helped to keep me insulated over the winter months. I suppose I should thankyou for that, even if I am going through hell to try and remove it all from my midsection now.

We've had a pretty good relationship, you and I. Even if I have taken to avoiding walking past you, for fear of binging on chocolate milk and chicken nuggets. We get along fairly well. But I have to ask you to please . . . PLEASE, for the love of all things healthy, stop making your garlic scented chicken and rice stir-fries waft through my classroom door. It smells divine, while plastic wrap really does not.

You're making my cheese sandwich look a trifle miserable in comparison. Please cease yummy smells immediately, if you would be so kind.

Yours in nutrition,

Aly.


21 Comments • Labels:  

21 comments:

Kristabella said...

This is exactly whay I'm glad our cafeteria is in the NEXT building.

Kristabella said...

And this is the second day in a row I have had a misspelling in my comment.

And I'm not even drunk. Sadly.

Lindsey said...

Don't you just hate when things like that happen? I work in a retirement community and if I'm near the dining room during lunch time, I have insta-hunger!

Aimee said...

good for you for abstaining! hehe

janet said...

I am kinda dumb. I thought a canteen was a water bottle. Is this yet another global miscommunication of the Queen's English?!?

Jen said...

I know how you feel, my nutella sandwich just doesn't cut it.

I'm so glad the lunch order of choice in the staff room is a chicken salad. So once I get there, away from the nuggets, pizzas and lasagnas I'm safe.

Nathan Pralle said...

For the same reason, all McDonald's restaurants should be stripped of their gorgeous, crispy, tastetastic fries. Heathens!

heidikins said...

Firstly: Dear Jen, you have Nutella sandwiches?!? That's freaking brilliant!

Secondly: Dear Aly, I am in full supportment of your concerned correspondence to your employer. I'm sure there's some sort of law-suit in there, and I would totally vote for you. ;o)

xox

Julz said...

gees, since when did canteens have garlic scented chicken and rice stir fry? :( all we had were pies, chips, potato cakes, sandwiches etc...nothing special.

kirby said...

my counsellor put me on a siliac's (sp?) diet to see if it altered my mood.. I'd get so mad because Kristie and Ana that I worked with were both toothpicks and would always go and get steak sandwiches and all sorts of wonderment contained in a meal, and I'd have to eat fruit pieces that had been soaking in their own juices for too long. Sucked.

Belinda said...

today I stopped buying Noodles, when M asked why I said I am on a diet....M said "miss S has lost a lot of weight ...she look good"!!! but YES the smell is divine!!!

Noelle said...

I hate food that smells better than it tastes, because I always end up eating the whole thing anyway. Also, I too was confused by the use of the word "canteen" in a non-water bottle context. I think I may have just learned something new.

elise said...

Dear Alyndabear,

EAT MY YUMMY FOOD. EAT IT NOW. MY FOOD IS AWESOME, AND THE MORE YOU RESIST, THE MORE AWESOME I WILL BECOME.



Love,
THE CANTEEN

Laurel said...

School food is delicious??? I wish I grew up in Australia!

Virginia Gal said...

I always thought one of the better perks when I was working for a private school was eating the school lunch without having to pay for it. But my office was far enough away that I didn't have to suffer through yummy food smells while feeling hungry.

I'm sure you are familiar with the school (buildings at least) - since both "Toy Soldiers" and "Major Payne" had large sections filmed on the grounds (but before my time working there).

-R- said...

Your sign-off, "Yours in Nutrition," cracked me up.

Chiada said...

It's amazing how the power of smell can affect us so much. Even the power of suggestion: last week when we were talking about (or I was talking about) not eating burger and fries and soda, that's exactly what I went and had for lunch. Because it sounded so good! I should have just not even mentioned it and then maybe I would have avoided it. (Maybe.)

minijonb said...

something divine smelling in a canteen? whoda thunk it?
all i smell in our cafeteria is grease...
deep fried grease with extra greasy grease on top.
...i think i'll go get some.

kerrianne said...

I don't know; I would be hard pressed to relinquish cheese anything. ; )

(Happy! Tuesday.)

Viviane said...

Haha, that is absolutely evil of them. :p Glad I don't have to smell yummy food all day!

LaLa said...

Am I going crazy, I could have sworn that it said banana sandwich before? xx





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