Sunday Google-age Round 9

It's back! Did you miss it? Sure, it's only been a few weeks but still. You missed it.


Hallmark Cards
Are overpriced and overrated. Who pays $8 for a card that you can make at home for practically nothing? I'm a big fan of homemade cards, think they're more personal. And I am also cheap. Not the point.

Spotty Arms
Yes, I do still have spotty arms. No, I have not yet found the miracle cure. Alas.

Synonym for Shitload
Er. Are you looking for a child friendly synonym? How about just calling it a whole lot of something. Or a rather large amount of something. Or, if you like your slang and your swear words, you could go with the old favourite of a 'fuckload'. I know. Sounds completely disgusting on it's own, but put it in a sentence - 'I have a shitload of schoolwork to do' OR 'Yep, I'd buy that pretty jacket, except it costs a fuckload of money'. Ahem. You see?

I'm addicted to sherbies
OMG. How much do I love Sherbies? I think I've probably lost half of my readers by now, so let me just clarify - Sherbies are an Australian chewy lolly/candy that are orange flavoured and have fizzy sherbert in the middle. They're bad for you, full of sugar but very, very yummy. I ate practically four jumbo bags of them whilst recovering from my laser eye surgery. Mmm. Sherbies. (I love 'Milko' lollies too.)

Invitation letter for mum and dad visa uk
Well, I don't know about the Visa part of this search, because I haven't yet filled mine out, BUT I do know that after I move to the UK? I'll be sending my mum and dad an invitation letter to come and visit me there. Can you guys convince them that flying to London to see their only daughter while she is away from home FOR TWO YEARS might be a nice thing to do? And that there are nifty things to see and do nearby? (If I were moving somewhere on Route 66, they'd be there in a jiffy.)

Great comeback lines
Oh, here's one - 'HE: Can I have your name? SHE: Why, don't you already have one?'

I am happy oh so happy
It should be illegal to be so happy before 9am on a Sunday morning. Bah humbug.

Poetry in voices line - with sticky fingers in humbug bed
Call me crazy, but didn't I just type the word 'humbug'? I think I must have been automatically reading ahead and stole the word.. from myself! I am clever. But, not clever enough to help you with the poetry request. I stink at poetry. Except for acrostics. I can write a mean acrostic poem.

I want my own baby stepmother
What the hell is a baby stepmother? Like, you want your stepmother to be the mother of your kid? Or you want a stepmother who is literally a baby? You're strange.

Chemicals are restless
Part of the song Flawed Design by Stabilo - 'The chemicals are restless in my head.' I actually love that line.

Crimpy Hairstyles
Want to see one? Okay! Don't say I didn't warn you!

Wine Tasting Blogs
I only drink wine on special occasions. Or nights out. Or nights in. And my wine taste are quite cheap - bring me a bottle of $6 riesling and I'll be your best friend. (And probably fall down in your driveway.)

Is not exaggered
I was all ready to start picking this search question apart because exaggered? (Hello, spell-check?) Until I followed the search myself. And realised that in one of my oh-so-deep attempts (Hello, sarcasm!) at writing a short story, I actually was the one who made that typo. Read the short story and see if you can spot it. Bonus points if you don't cringe all the way through.

Tully is a stupid book
I don't think so. I think it's quite a good book. A very good book actually.

Teacher mentor didn't do his job
Let's have him killed!

Pictures of an irritated baby flicking someone off
I live to serve. Here's one. Here's another. And here's another irritated child.

Is a 10 year old capable of putting in contact lenses?
Can 10 year olds even wear contacts? I got mine when I was in high school, and putting them in didn't bother me. But 10? That's Year 4. Nah. I wouldn't be giving my kid contact lenses at that age. I'd keep them wearing glasses until they absolutely couldn't stand it any longer, because as fabulous as contacts are? They do give you lots of sty's. And are expensive, and fussy and need to be looked after.

All out of garbage bags
Bummer. Now how will you make spiffy costumes for your kid's dance?

Dance bitch
Alright! [Does the Macarena.]

From one side of my head to the other migraine
Poor you. Perhaps you should go to the doctors. Who will no doubt prescribe you PANADOL and tell you you'll be fine. But you won't. You'll still be sick. And if you happen to go back again, they'll give you the same instructions. And you'll still be sick. (Not that this has happened to me personally, or anything. Oh no.)

Love songs about wanting someone else
How about that Lips of an Angel song by Hinder? I feel like punching the lead singer and his husky voice out every time I hear it. What a prick! 'Sometimes I wish she was you.' Well, Mr Voice, I bet sometimes she wishes that you'd stop waving your weeny arms around in the air in your stupid filmclips too, so THERE.

Commercials all about me
Off the top of my head, I can't think of any commercials made for me. I can tell you a whole list though, that make me cry. Let me know if you want that.

Subconjunctival hemmorage

Basically, it's a fancy-schmancy term for a burst blood vessel. Which is another fancy-schmancy term for an EVIL BIG RED UGLY PATCH IN YOUR EYEBALL THAT LOOKS DISGUSTING AND WILL ONLY GO AWAY BY ITSELF AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. That pretty much sums it up.

Eh Eh bunky lyrics
'Louise, Louise, Don't give me none of that bunky bunky'. Surely bunky bunky can only mean one thing, no? Maybe? Sort of? Or perhaps I have a dirty mind.

Lovely words for ...
For what? Lady bloggers? Squirrels? Bunky Bunky? ALY? I must know!

Clothes worn in movie Love Actually
Not sure, but I'd like them all. They all look so funky and fashionable in their English coats. I want an English coat. I'm going to need an English coat. I didn't particularly like anything that Keira Knightley wore in that movie. I preferred 'Natalie'. She always looked so gorgeous. Hey! Mum just reminded me of that movie last night - I'll be at London Heathrow airport the day after Christmas! With all the hugs and stuff! And the Beach Boys song serenading everyone through loudspeakers! Am so excited! (What? Are you telling me that doesn't happen? Phooey.)

I want birthday cards
I recieved a whopping thee cards this year. Are you jealous?

Bruise underneath lower lip after eating corn on the cob
There's no easy way to say this: your corn cob is trying to kill you! Run for cover!

Who sings boom boom boom i want you in my room?
That would be the Vengaboys. (I absolutely do not have this song on my Ipod.)

Smelly thong
Okay, that's just gross. I don't want to know about your and your smelly thongs, no matter which kind you're talking about - shoes or knickers. Yuck.

Hopefully my exercise (Exercise? That sounds familiar, but I just can't place it..) will permanently remove my cankles once and for all.

Squished boobs
This is what happens when I wear my Threadless shirts. They're great tees, though not particularly flattering to those of us with a little cleavage.

Pictures of the flying purple people eater
The FPPE is a bit like the Loch Ness Monster. We can only speculate. Eyewitnesses report that he looks a little like this. We may never know for sure.

Contiki tour grand southern reviews
Talk to me this time next year, and I'll give you my very own review.

Special words for a friends birthday
How about the good old fashioned 'Here's a blank cheque, pick out whatever you like, it's on me.' Or, you could just say 'Happy Birthday friend.' That could work.

Horror contiki experience Europe
I want to know all about your horror experience. I had an amazing time on mine. Oh wait, does that sound like I'm rubbing it in? I really don't mean to. It was just so excellent, the people were great, we saw so much . . . am I doing it again?

Chevy chase european vacation
Ha! I adore this movie. 'Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!' I realise you'll have absolutely no idea what I'm on about unless you've actually seen the movie but come on. Who hasn't seen the Vacation movies? They're classic!

I've never actually typed it as one word before, but woo! Parra Eels! They've now replaced Penrith as my #1 Rugby League team, because Penrith? The boys have let me down. Plus, I haven't seen hunky Luke Rooney in forever, which is quite disappointing.

Fringe bangs around face picture
I'm much too scared to visit a hairdresser again anytime soon, let alone get bangs. But oh how I wish I could have nice, side-swept bangs. It's a shame my strange hair and cowlicks make it impossible to have that.

Koala biting in groin
That's got to be painful. I'd love to know what you have to do to piss off a koala. Steal their eucalyptus leaves? Poke them in the belly? Yowch.

Married by 26
That was "The Plan". Who knows if that'll happen? My bets are currently off.

12 Comments • Labels:  


~Kathryn~ said...

See I Do Read Your Blog
Your Google-age Always Makes Me Laugh - Now I Understand Why You Suddenly Jumped Off The Computer And Started Dancing The Macarena
PS And I Can Write Using Capital Letters - Are You Happy Now ???

Teacher A said...

Three things:

1. The crimpy hair is awesome.
2. I got contacts at 12, so a mature 10 year old might be able to handle it. Maybe.
3. That song you don't have on your iPod? Totally on mine.

-R- said...

My favorite of these is:
Dance bitch


Kristabella said...

The baby stepmother one had me peeing in my pants! I'm still laughing.

My nephew wears a contact and he's 5. His vision in one eye is really, really bad, so he only has to wear one to make it stronger or something. It doesn't seem to bother him.

eyebrowsscrunchedupfromkc said...

woman are you delirous (no ideas how to spell what i am talkign about)? i read your blog today and huh what are you talking about my eyebrows were scrunched up trying to read your blog. hmmm

are you coming tomorrow?


Christopher said...

For love songs for wanting someone else, just give them Maroon 5. Can't go wrong with She Will Be Loved. And I know who the purple people eater is! It's Henry the Octopus! I always said the Wiggles were bent on world domination. ;)

kirby said...

FOUR! FOUR FOUR! You got FOUR cards!!

Lara said...

nice crimpy hair. :-P

Mick said...

Go the Eels. They really should have been your favourite team to start with :)

Parraeels is the name of the website!

Yes. Crimps. Are they coming back?

RA said...

Ooh! Another person who wants to punch out the lead singer of Hinder! I HATE that song so much, especially because it's so darn catchy. One of my co-workers was singing along to it at work and I was like, "Do you really like the lyrics to this song?" And she listened for a second and said, "Hm. I guess I never really thought about what the words were." While you were singing them?!

Operation Pink Herring said...

I realize I am weeks behind in my blog reading, but I am catching up! Slowly but surely!

I am so glad I'm not the only one that HATES that song and feels personally offended by it. "Sometimes I wish she ws you"?? Really, buddy? Well if you two love each other so damn much, why don't you hang up the phone, dump your respective girlfriend/boyfriend, and effing BE TOGETHER Ugh.

Lynsey said...

I just had to let you know how much I laughed at this post! I laughed A LOT! Thank you! I really needed that. For some reason the 'all out of garbage bags' one really gets me! I just discovered your blog today and have really enjoyed reading it.

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