Junk Mail Must Die!

Gain with Nanotechnology!
Exciting Weight Loss Drugs!
Popular Software, Almost Free!
Unhappy Body? Lose The Pounds!
Popular Drugs! Cheap, Cheap, Cheap!
Get Porn Star Ejaculations!
Prolong Your Pleasure!

Dude. If all of those things were real, I'd be a hot, skinny model with an immune system of steel with a partner who sounds too good to be true (!) sitting at a computer with fabulous software having nano-chipped robots doing all my work and cleaning for me. And did I mention I'd be skinny?

I could handle that.

Sometimes I wonder if the "Block Sender" icon in my Outlook Express is even worth using.

Is the effort of scrolling down the task bar for each individual junk mail really doing anything? Is it worth waiting a couple of seconds for the (DING) noise that lets you know that your junk mail is done, gone, kaput, finito? Or not. They LIE.

Is the (DING) "penisenlargement4free@annoyingspamgod.com has successfully been added to your blocked senders list" pop up message really even legitimate? HAVE they been blocked? Because I have this one astronomer email stalker that keeps on sending me through personalised horoscopes (totally free! only $49.95 per email!) and I swear, I've blocked her ass about fifteen times.

I bet in some top secret Windows testing laboratory, you could find the original pop up messages floating about. And I bet they go a little something like this:

(DING) "Ha! Fool! You just wasted ten seconds of your time clicking that button. And you know what we did? We had a game of fooze ball and drank a few beers. We even played that little ding-dong sound to keep your sad, sorry excuse of an ass occupied and thinking we were actually doing our job, when really? We actually sent the junk mail gods a nice little email telling them to keep up the good work because ha ha! You're still reading this! That's another ten seconds. And another ten seconds trying to find the "OK" button on this message because we made sure it was a flashy one that doesn't stay in the same place for longer than a second. Ha! Have a nice day, sucker."

But then I'm sure they changed it because it was too long. Or something.

Those bastards.

DOWN WITH SPAM! (And Outlook Express too.)

23 down; 7 to go.

5 Comments • Labels:  


Julz* said...

Ahhhh those evil spammers. See, they override junk mail filters and such because they keep changing the email address that they send from.

You may notice that sometimes, it'll just be a bunch of random letters and/or numbers.

So they just computer generate email accounts to send junk to you.

Evil I tells you.


nila said...

I hate spam. We get so much at work, and we have a fancy IT dept. Ha! They always talk about sexual harrassment, yet I get to read about penis enlargement on a regular basis.

I kinda like the ones that look like they might say something, but it turns out to be nonsense. Like this one sitting in my in box right now.

"hospital where ruptured appendix Salt Lake a City or age buried he Sarah. July or known Aral. Enjoyed side ache ignorsed wouldn't .... and it just goes on and on and on.

~Kathryn~ said...

use thunderbird !!!!

Ngaire said...

Thanks God that I am not the only person who gets so incredibly pissed off by these!

briliantdonkey said...

agreed the spam gets old fast. really fast. The ones I hate the most are the ones with a title just good enough or a sender name that 'just might MIGHT be for real' and I click it just to be sure.

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