Grumbles at 1am.

I'm so tired that I created a poem.

Leg cramps, leg cramps,
Yucky, icky leg cramps.
I went to bed all feeling fine,
Now I'm up at a yucky time.

Leg cramps, leg cramps,
Stupid, crappy leg cramps.
Not growing pains cos I'm too old,
Now I'm getting rather cold.

Leg cramps, leg cramps,
Oh how I hate thee, leg cramps.
They're hurting lots, ouch ouch ouch,
Tomorrow I will be a grouch.

Well, it's obvious that my creative streak comes out in the wee hours. I have no idea what brought these cramps on, they're in both legs and right up the top. I used to get these all the time, but haven't had them in the longest time. Yeeeeeowch. I know I did a bit of walking yesterday (and gym) but nothing strenuous enough for this.

I wonder what else causes leg cramps? Perhaps I shall Googlify it. Hell, I'm even feeling lucky. Here goes.

Apparently, THIS is why I have leg cramps.

But for the lazy lurkers out there, here are some highlights.

  • A leg cramp is a pain that comes from a muscle in the leg. (Well, I could have told you that one.)

  • It usually occurs in one of the calf muscles, below and behind a knee. (My knees are fine. My upper thighs hurt.)

  • A cramp pain typically lasts a few minutes. (Ha! Bullshit. Try nearly an hour.)

  • Leg cramps usually occur when you are resting - most commonly at night when in
    bed. (Look, the article told me something useful. How nice.)

  • They may wake you from sleep. (No fucking way.)

  • They are more common in older people. (Just because I had ONE nanna day, does not mean I am a nanna, thankyouverymuch.)

  • In some cases, the cramps may be a symptom of another condition or problem; Over-exertion of muscles, Dehydration, Excess alcohol. (Over exertion? Perhaps. Dehydration? No, I'm fine. Excess alcohol? Only talked about. I haven't drunk in weeks.)

  • If you are otherwise well, and have no other unexplained symptoms, then the leg
    cramps are likely to be idiopathic (unknown cause). (Well, isn't that just lovely.)

  • Stretching and massaging the affected muscle (usually a calf muscle) can usually
    relieve an attack of cramp. (BUT IT'S NOT MY CALF MUSCLE. And massaging my own thighs just isn't doing it for me.)

How interesting. Did it tell me anything? Not really, except that I am apparently a freak of nature who is getting leg cramps in the wrong places. My leg cramps are also very clever ones, seeing as they must read this blog and think I'm a granny. Fabulous. Mmmbleh.

6 Comments • Labels:  


janet said...

All I know is that a glass of wine can cure almost anything! Or a margarita. Or maybe two or three?

On another note, I have been meaning to write and say that you have been leaving the sweetest comments on my blog and it totally makes my day. I am terrible about commenting on other blogs enough (I need like 3 more hours in the day...don't we all..), but I am coming over to read. I love reading and imagining you saying it with a cute Aussie accent :)

Boz said...

I find leg cramps go away a LOT quicker if someone else is rubbing them better...


Viviane said...

I heard magnesium is supposed to help with cramps. That is, they might be caused by lack of magnesium.

Desiree said...

Well, not as though it is any of my business, but sometimes cramps in the upper leg can be associated with girl stuff, like the time of the month stuff. maybe your cramps are diversifying and spreading out? That or the slow pace you took shopping while with your gram made them all tight.

Isabel said...

I will not bore you with the story about the time I ALMOST DIED FROM LEG CRAMPS (twice).

Seriously, those things hurt.

I hope you're all better now.

Amie said...

I've had those a lot in the past. A lack of potasium (my spelling is bad first thing in the morning) can cause it. Try eating more bananas, and see if that helps. Also, dehydration, and getting cold in the night. We call them charlie horses...and they hurt like a mo'fo!

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